5 Practical Uses For Your Ice Storm Debris

Good news, my fellow metro dwellers!

This week, Oklahoma City and surrounding cities have started collecting storm debris from the Great Ice Storm of 2020. According to KFOR, the storm debris pickup started last week and is expected to last until March, which will give Patrick plenty of time for another ranking of the dead tree piles in his neighborhood.

Though city employees are working hard to clean up our streets, we may have to be patient. So, in the meantime, here’s 5 fun activities you can do with your storm debris!

Save for Firewood

Every time the wind blows more than 11 miles per hour, we can expect some power outages in the metro. So, save back some of that storm debris for firewood because we’re expecting nothing less than 16 mile per hour winds over the next week.

Whittle Some Lincoln Logs

The pandemic has led to a shit economy and most of us have somehow found a way to blow a whole $1,200 in bills and other necessities over the course of 8 months. So, save some money this Christmas and make a Lincoln Log set for each of your nieces and nephews out of storm debris. Hell, make a set for yourself! You may rediscover a lost joy from childhood or even a couple of splinters dating back to 1982 that were never removed.

Budget Christmas Tree

You’ve seen the piece of work Charlie Brown tried to pass off as a Christmas tree. So, what’s stopping us from using a downed cedar or a magnolia branch for our holiday celebrations? Just called it a “non-traditional” tree or whatever the cool kids on Instagram say nowadays.

Start a Beaver Colony

One-up your hipster neighbors who dove a little too deep into the bee colony hobby this summer by starting your own beaver colony! Bradford Pear branches are the perfect size and integrity for the average beaver dam. Plus, it’s easier to outrun a beaver than a bee.

Conversation Piece

Dictionary.com defines “conversation piece” as, “an object that arouses comment because of some striking or unusual quality.” Whether it be due to the magnitude, traffic obstruction, or mourning of limb loss, storm debris in the metro is the perfect example of this phenomenon because it has been the main topic of approximately 57% of conversations in OKC for the past 3 weeks.

But you can’t outswim a beaver. Them sunsabucks go about 25 miles per hour in the water. Follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek and become a contributing member of TLO here.

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8 Responses


  1. The OKC city government is doing the debris removal, not OG&E. The OKC city government is, ultimately, accountable to the voters, so at least they have some incentive to get the mess cleaned up competently and as quickly as is possible.

    Good luck holding OG&E management accountable for its botched job of dealing with the ice storm aftermath. They don’t answer to voters or customers.


  2. “will take until March” Yeah, one of the downsides of a city that is the second largest in square miles in the US.
    Downed limbs and brush do provide good ground cover for small critters and birds, especially in the winter. So one could use the brush to attract critters that could be shot for some tasty victuals. And maybe one day while shooting at some food, up from the ground will come a bubblin’ crude…


    1. I been getting pretty crude around here lately, after days of cutting and dragging and stacking.


  3. Probably a crazy idea, but maybe they could use people serving time
    in jail to manhandle the limbs and feed the grinders and so forth.
    I’m sure they’d be eager to volunteer for a lesser sentence behind
    bars where the Covid is running rampant.

    The labor cost saved could be used to rent more of the required machinery.


    1. Criminals with chipper/shredders? I guess you haven’t seen Fargo?


  4. The oak limbs would have been great for growing shiitakes mushrooms IF the culture plugs could be had in time– within 10 days for the limb being felled. So I read recently. Too late now I guess. And yep, firewood. Eventually.


  5. Not being a dick but I’m not going to go very in-depth about why the “Start a beaver colony” entry would be a basis for a bad idea – sure, it’s a satirical story but those little shits can jack up the local ecosystem with a quickness. A beaver colony uprising would be a better idea for a Pornhub channel (for jacking your ecosystem, ha!).


    1. Um, beavers are part of a local ecosystem. What they occasionally jack up is human plans and structures set up to manage and extract resources for the human tumor.
      I know this because I have felt a beaver’s butt. Underwater. While noodling in the North Canadian.

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