5 Practical Uses For Your Ice Storm Debris

Good news, my fellow metro dwellers!

This week, Oklahoma City and surrounding cities have started collecting storm debris from the Great Ice Storm of 2020. According to KFOR, the storm debris pickup started last week and is expected to last until March, which will give Patrick plenty of time for another ranking of the dead tree piles in his neighborhood.

Though city employees are working hard to clean up our streets, we may have to be patient. So, in the meantime, here’s 5 fun activities you can do with your storm debris!

Save for Firewood

Every time the wind blows more than 11 miles per hour, we can expect some power outages in the metro. So, save back some of that storm debris for firewood because we’re expecting nothing less than 16 mile per hour winds over the next week.

Whittle Some Lincoln Logs

The pandemic has led to a shit economy and most of us have somehow found a way to blow a whole $1,200 in bills and other necessities over the course of 8 months. So, save some money this Christmas and make a Lincoln Log set for each of your nieces and nephews out of storm debris. Hell, make a set for yourself! You may rediscover a lost joy from childhood or even a couple of splinters dating back to 1982 that were never removed.

Budget Christmas Tree

You’ve seen the piece of work Charlie Brown tried to pass off as a Christmas tree. So, what’s stopping us from using a downed cedar or a magnolia branch for our holiday celebrations? Just called it a “non-traditional” tree or whatever the cool kids on Instagram say nowadays.

Start a Beaver Colony

One-up your hipster neighbors who dove a little too deep into the bee colony hobby this summer by starting your own beaver colony! Bradford Pear branches are the perfect size and integrity for the average beaver dam. Plus, it’s easier to outrun a beaver than a bee.

Conversation Piece

Dictionary.com defines “conversation piece” as, “an object that arouses comment because of some striking or unusual quality.” Whether it be due to the magnitude, traffic obstruction, or mourning of limb loss, storm debris in the metro is the perfect example of this phenomenon because it has been the main topic of approximately 57% of conversations in OKC for the past 3 weeks.

But you can’t outswim a beaver. Them sunsabucks go about 25 miles per hour in the water. Follow Hayley on twitter @squirrellygeek and become a contributing member of TLO here.