Kevin Stitt Continues to Bungle State’s Coronavirus Response

Whether you’re pro-mask or anti-mask, pro-lockdown or anti-lockdown, or pro-infect-your-parents-at-Thanksgiving or anti-infect you-parents-at-Thanksgiving, one of the few things both sides of the Oklahoma Coronamania echo chambers can agree on is that Gov. Kevin Stitt has done a terrible and puzzling job handling the pandemic.

Earlier this week, Stitt Blade took the bold step to mandate that all bars and restaurants – from the trendiest watering holes to the dingiest dives – close by 11 p.m., effectively ruining Thanksgiving holiday party plans for the tens of thousands of Oklahomans who aren’t takinging the Coronavirus seriously. He also mandated that all state employees wear masks, which bigs the question – state employees weren’t already required to wear masks? WTF, Stitt.

The move, which felt more like a poorly thought out PR stunt than an actual attempt to slow the spread of the virus, drew outrage and criticism from virtually all sides of the Coronamania echo chamber. Outside of the typical Derplahoman “Any government action to address the pandemic is tyranny!” crowd, the primary complaints were:

A) The mandate doesn’t do enough to address or stem the spread of Coronavirus.

B) The mandate unfairly targets the bar and nightclub industry

C) The mandate, as a stand-alone measure, doesn’t make a lot of sense. 

They all have points.

For example, Stitt is okay closing bars and restaurants after 11 p.m. but still won’t implement a simple statewide mask mandate for public places? That’s absurd.

And where’s the logic or consistency in stopping people from closing down a Henry Hudsons with their old friends from high school the night before Thanksgiving, then catching the virus and giving it to grandma at Thanksgiving dinner, but allowing people to pass it around the Penn Square Mall food court on Black Friday, and then going home and giving it to grandma while eating turkey sandwiches that night?

And what about churches? You’re not allowing people to dance the night and – depending on the viral load – possibly their lives away at the local honky-tonk on Saturday night, but it’s okay for people to do this on Sunday morning:

Seriously, Kevin Stitt should pass an executive order not allowing mega-churches to open until after 11 a.m. That will probably save a couple of hundred lives right there.

The move naturally pissed off the local bar and restaurant owners, who are team pro-economy / anti-lockdown. I know this because I’m friends with some of them. They’re already reeling financially from the pandemic and would much rather roll the dice and risk getting a few hundred or thousand people sick than close early during one of the busiest bar weeks of the year. Some places even promised open defiance!

“Sumthin Countrys Here.”

Guys, I’ve lived in this state for over 40 years, and those may be the most accurate and brilliant words ever written about Oklahoma. Expect it to be a hit Toby Keith song soon.

With, in a Coronavirus sense, local hotspots like Western Night promising rebellion, David Holt put down his selfie stick and made this proclamation:

Although David Holt promised his bestie that OKC would enforce the mandate, you have to wonder if municipalities in the more “Sumthin Countrys Here” parts of the state will follow suit. I’m going to assume the answer is “No.”

Anyway, I guess we’ll monitor social media over the next week or so to see if any bars or restaurants defy Stitt’s order. If you know of any, send them our way so we can make fun of them. Have a great weekend, and remember nothing good happens after 11pm.

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34 Responses

  1. How about we’ll send you a free Stitt neck mask and coffee mug and take $50 off your next OG & E bill if you please wear a mask.



  3. I guess he tired of saying: “We’re going to be data driven”. I haven’t heard that catchy little phrase in a while.

  4. Stitt said he feels good about his measures. (The dumbest, softball question a reporter can toss to a politician? “How would you rate your performance?” “A++!”)
    I think Stitt feels good because he’s a conservative Christian. “Hey, I’m a Christian. If you get sick or die, that’s on Jesus, not me.”

  5. That’s what happens when you elect a failed businessman with an outsized ego. Sound familiar? Probably wind up like his grifter hero.

  6. I just stay the hell away from both the bar scene and evangelicals and
    even though she’s been dead for the last twenty-five years, Grandma may get a pass – I dunno yet.

  7. Data driven? That has collapsed because the data wasn’t driving in the direction Stitt wanted. Can’t the doofus understand that the best way to protect the economy is to drive down the number of sick people by keeping the virus from spreading? Economy vs health is a false choice.

    Video of that mosh pit of worshipful Christian music fans at the Victory concert went national. We’re in the news again, and not in a good way!

    And I’ve heard that Victory is also planning to have a large gathering for a Thanksgiving meal at the Church. Won’t that be great? Lots of multi-generational families exchanging their Christian love and their germs with each other, buffet-style. The church’s philosophy must be what Bobby said: “If you get sick or die, that’s on Jesus, not me.”

  8. I think he is trying to get the coveted Michael DeWayne Brown Distinguished Public Service Award of 2020. Perhaps you remember him, he was the Oklahoman that headed FEMA until he was removed for his Kevin Stitt style of managing the Hurricane Katrina disaster.

    Oklahoma is now a Top 10 Corona Virus state, considered a red state, but the Stitt Administration calls it “orange.” Hospitals overcrowded? Stitt’s answer is to move the patients around.

    Mask mandate? Absolutely not, we’ll just eliminate “elective surgery.” Guess Kevin doesn’t understand that “elective surgery” means it is medically necessary, just that you can pick a time that is convenient, as opposed to immediately. There is a good chance there will be some additional deaths because of choosing this option, as opposed to a mask mandate.

    Perhaps he thought it meant the surgeries that the wives and his financial backers get to enhance their appearance. After you get the coveted “Brownie” award, you might add some OG&E executives to your cabinet, as you seem to prefer to clean up the damage as opposed to trying to mitigate the damages before they happen.

    1. Let’s don’t forget he wasted $2 Million in legal fees that the taxpayers are paying on his belief that the Gaming Compacts expired. Had he been in private business in a public company instead of government the board might have ended his tenure.

      Now if only the “stakeholders” (Stittspeak for people who live in Oklahoma) realize they are the Board if they vote this nonsense can end. At least with term limits the era of Stitt will end eventually even without the public waking up, but like history is showing us there is always a greater fool waiting in the wings to become governor. I’m sure one of his “flying monkeys” has plans for his office.

      Perhaps someone should send him a “Brownie” award. Knowing Stitt he would have a press conference to announce it to show what a great job he is doing. I’m sure he is so proud of himself.

      1. No problem on the 2 million $.. stittt can raid the warehouse of clorox and malaria pills. It’s a stated fact they’re worth 2,000,000.00$. He can sell them anytime and probably turn a profit with inflation and all.


    Is it possible for you to invent another virus, except this time a virus that makes people give a shit about the fate of other people?

    I know, I know—-you would have thought that almost a year of this COVID-19 stuff would have shown people that we ought to work together to help each other past this problem, but: nah. It’s every person for him or herself, in the proud tradition of rugged individualism or some shit.

    So get cracking on a new virus of the type I requested. Oh, also: I don’t want to eat any bats, or have sex with any iguanas (again, I mean.) I prefer to get the virus the normal way, by being breathed on by crowds of people who don’t understand the basics of disease prevention, or who, if they do understand, don’t give a shit. That’s the ‘Murican Way.

    Yours in Christ,
    Lord Skiffington III, The Duke of Earl

    1. That iguana wasn’t named Susan by any chance, was it? If so, you need to get tested, bud. Iguanorrhea.

      1. Her name was Karen, and she kept demanding that I “let her talk to the manager immediately!” As if she had some sort of legitimate complaint.

        I give you my highest praise for “iguanorrhea.” With your permission, I shall steal the word and sprinkle it liberally (ahem) into future jokes.

  10. Fastest way to slow down this virus? Make Furr’s and every other cafeteria close on Sunday’s. No telling how much ‘rona gets spread around the all you can eat fried chicken, pea salad and hush puppies on the serving line.

    1. Wait. There’s still a Furrs? Where?

  11. Every village has an idiot; Oklahoma has the Stidiot.

  12. Noticed that Gov Stitt said he will enjoy Thanksgiving with his family, including his children and his parents. Our leaders are supposed to be role models fir the values and standards they proclaim. We are told to stay home, don’t invite Grandma, etc.

  13. Typical behavior of narcissistic leader, with narcissistic side kicks planted in our state agencies as “leadership”. These fools have no idea how to run state government, except into the ground while enriching their pockets and feeding from the flying monkeys they surround themselves with to boost their egos.

    1. The lack of knowledge from the “leadership” he has planted in the agencies is showing in the dismal moral in our agencies.
      He mandates wearing a mask for state employees yet won’t for the rest of the state. Also still has some agencies open to the public and can’t make the public wear a mask.
      Sick of listening to this fool and his stool pigeons

  14. #MaskMandateOrResign

    Yeah I know it’s not gonna do any good. Stitt’s a dangerous doofus.

  15. Mega churches are defined as those that have an average
    attendance of 2,000 or more people. There are approximately
    1500 of them across the USA.

    However, statistics also show that conservative Christians are
    also the most likely to cast a vote at election time.
    So naturally, compared to the the party dogs who go to eateries
    and bars after dark, there’s going to be some favoritism when it
    comes to Covid restrictions.

    And as the saying goes …. Imagine that.

    1. If conservative Christians continue to gather maskless at mega-churches, there will be fewer of them to cast ballots in the next election.

      1. But the ones that don’t die will be convinced that their not dying proves that it wasn’t all that bad. And they will proclaim to others that, lo, them scientists are speaking ungodly falsehoods.

        1. The ones that do die obviously didn’t have enough faith. Their own fault.

          1. It’s also, “God’s will” or, “God works in mysterious ways.”

  16. Why did he have to interrupt the end of Jeopardy for his “informal” briefing? Come on, KFOR and Gov Stitt, wait an extra minute or two so we can see who won.

    1. All it did was just being another question on Jeopardy, Who’s is the biggest dumb ass in Oklahoma?
      Kevin Stitt

  17. Once again Kevin Stitt has proven himself to be the Stittidiot Extraordinaire.

  18. All I can say is Oklahoma will be much better off when our Congressional Delegation and Governor realize Trump lost and they get their deeply imbedded heads out of Trump’s fat ass!!!!

  19. The mega church crowd can go hug and kiss on each other. Meanwhile, the nurses, doctors, housekeepers, RT’s will try and take care of these idiots when they get sick. Best of all, they won’t care who they infect.

    Stitt is a lost cause.

  20. So. Tired. Of. Stupid.

  21. If you think stitt has a tough time with masks just wait till you see the Anti vaxxer sttttt promote the COVID vaccine!
    You just can’t be kinda pregnant and you are either an anti vaxxer or you’re not? Stitt: Well I wouldn’t put that shit in my arm or my families arm but you idiots go ahead. What do I care if your kids have 3 eyes?

  22. Other than being a person who just ignores reality and/or creates his own, a huge problem with Stitt is there is no true system to hold him accountable. The Newspapers/TV/Radio for the most part give him a pass, (much like they did Fallin until it became obvious she was a pariah).

    The closest he’s came to any real rebuke is from Mike Turpen (which I was shocked that Kelly Ogle didn’t explode) who lambasted Stitt and people who won’t wear masks Sunday morning. Stitt/State of Oklahoma has been roasted/toasted and broiled by the White House Covid Task Force and his/State’s response continues to “yeah, Okay I’ll get on it, but first I’m watching a marathon of Yellowstone”. What’s really funny is he’s either too stupid, too lazy or so out of touch he CAN’T EVEN LIE with conviction. Every time he speaks it’s like he’s been asked to read aloud in a class on being completely detached.

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