Jenks students celebrate Covid Bowl victory!

Over the weekend, Jenks High School celebrated its 17th Oklahoma Football state title – and first-ever Covid Bowl Championship – with a 41-43 stomping over the Edmond Santa Fe Beavers at Wantland Stadium in Edmond.

After the game, the team gathered with students to celebrate their victory and championship season, and pay special tribute to Oklahoma Governor Kevin “Super Spreader” Stitt, who founded his sub-prime mortgage company Gateway in Jenks in 1999.

For some reason, a bunch of young people gathering in close proximity and breathing in each other’s faces to celebrate a football victory during a global pandemic ignited the Coronamania Echo Chamber on social media. They mocked, scolded, criticized, and bemoaned the fact that carefree students who think they’re invincible and can do no wrong did something so irresponsible, or that the irresponsible adults who don’t take the virus seriously could stand by and watch it happen.

As a result, Jenks had to issue this apology that may have been written by a Terminator or AI chatbot.

I like how they wait until after the Covid Bowl Championship to “maintain stricter safety protocols.” I’m honestly not sure what that means, but it’s perfect timing.

Anyway, we’d like to congratulate the entire Jenks football team on their successful march through what, I assume, was a bizarre season. Covid Bowl Championships don’t happen often, so they should savor it like a Covid patient does oxygen. We hope they have a nice Christmas holiday, and that none of their parents or grandparents catch Covid from them and die.