5 types of Oklahomans who should be banned from social media

We’re coming off of one helluva week. Y’all saw the news, no need to recap one of the most bonkers things that happened in our lifetimes.

One of the funniest (and most overdue) developments was seeing our sitting president get banned from half of the internet. Trump has been lobbing dog-whistle grenades for years and finally is seeing punishment. The rest of his term will probably be a trainwreck of anger and revenge, but it’s nice to see social media finally do the right thing.

This made me think about Oklahoma social media and who needs to be banished. Here’s my list:

Mayor Holt Simps

These are the worst for me. The mayor will tweet something like “We have 3,700+ active cases today and 90 deaths. Wear a mask and wash your hands!” Basically, ‘Thoughts & Prayers!’ style posts, but the replies treat him like he’s a god. ‘BEST MAYOR EVER!’ because he takes selfies, tweets about the Thunder, and drops mics.

Bad Yelpers

Yelp is one of the worst thing to happen to restaurants. All of a sudden, everyone from Edmond who works in real estate is a ‘foodie’ and has taken on the persona of a food writer. Just because you’ve been to Dallas and a resort in Mexico does not make you a food expert and someone who should have the power to ruin the reputation of a restaurant because your appetizer did not come out immediately.

College Football Complainers

This may be a bias cuz I’m not really into football at all, but all the old white dudes with dogs as their avatars complaining about college football on Twitter need to GO. Why are you so mad about people who play sports for free and live in cheap apartments, maybe trying to get a degree, maybe trying to get shipped off to a professional league that will chew them up and spit them out? It’s okay if ya wanna watch OU, but you’re a grown ass man. Chill.

Nextdoor Karens

I stay off of that app cuz I do NOT need that energy in my life, but I still hear about it. ‘DID ANYONE ELSE JUST HEAR GUNSHOTS IN THE PASEO? WE NEED TO CLEAN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD UP!’ Karen, that was probably just a car backfiring, you’re clearly okay. ‘I SAW A BLACK MAN IN A HOODIE ON THE SIDEWALK, BE VIGILANT.’ Nah, you’re just racist. GTFOH.

Local News Media Facebook Boomers

Facebook is garbage for many reasons, but mostly because of the old people replying to KFOR, Oklahoman, etc stories. KOCO or FOX25 posts something ‘Local man accused of robbing a gas station’ and you will see the most nasty, racist bullshit on your screen. I got no patience in the world for that action.

Which Oklahoma social media types would you want to block?