7 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Support The Lost Ogle…

According to the Internet, today is apparently World Press Freedom Day – an annual day where large western media conglomerates that are controlled by powerful corporations, governments, institutions, and the global advertising and PR industry, do their ironic and hypocritical best to raise awareness for a “free and independent press.”

Always looking for an excuse to make money, many media outlets and journalists also use the day as an excuse to brag about their importance to the world, and more importantly, beg for new subscribers.

Obviously, we’re no different.

Although I try my best to avoid labeling what we do as classic/legitimate journalism, for as a little as $5 a month, you can become a Lost Ogle Member and help us continue to speak truth to power, scoop the local media, and skewer Oklahoma politicians, celebrities and other bad drivers in the process:

Yep, that’s right!

By helping fund our operations, you not only get any time, anywhere access to our content, but give us the support we need to stay afloat, pay bills, and produce our often imitated, but never duplicated mix of 100% locally-produced weird, off-beat and occasionally humorous content about this disturbing right-wing utopia some of us for some reason still call home.

But, this article isn’t for the people who want to help with all that.

Although I can think of lots of reasons to give us large amounts of money – for example, we still need to make the deposit for the annual TLO Contributor Retreat to the Bahamas – today I’d like to focus on some of the reasons you shouldn’t support us…

You’re Cheap and Stingy

Are you the type of person who makes $80K a year, but still avoids the Kilpatrick Turnpike because it costs .35-cents, or puts a Best Value cheese slice on your hamburger when you get home from Braum’s because it saves you money? If so, you’re probably the last person in the world who would send $5 to support a website trying to stay afloat in today’s treacherous media age.

You hate us

If you hate what we do, and think we’re the spawn of satan, I respectfully disagree with your opinion. That being said, I wouldn’t encourage you to be a member. We’re about to roll out some “member’s only” features very soon, and I’d hate for you to enjoy them.

You’re Poor

If a $5 monthly subscription equals 33% of your hourly salary (or more), you honestly shouldn’t be a member. At least for now, you can still read our stuff for free with 24 hours. Save that $5 for your credit card or student loan debt or teacher supplies instead.

You don’t want a Koozie

It’s only for Ogle Moles and above!

You’d rather give your money to non-profit news organizations back by rich, powerful white people

I’m not knocking the local non-profit media outlets that get most of their funding from elites like George Kaiser or the Gaylord-backed Inasmuch Foundation. Even though these outlets are well-funded, and generate more money in a month than we probably do in a year, I support some of them, because, like you, it makes me feel better about myself and they sometimes produce good work.

You will not give money to websites that still show ads…

If you’re one of those people, I respect your stance. Although it would suck to not have cable television, or be able to attend movies or sporting events or festivals or the doctor’s office or any other place that costs money and still shows you ads, I can see where you’re coming from on that. I’ll hit you up when we make ad-free browsing a new member perk.

You work in the local media…

Since we launched our Membership Club last year, I can only count two people from the local media who have signed up to support our site. That could be because so many people in the local media are poor – which, once again, I understand – but you’d think the same people that hammer home to others to support local media would do the same.

You want our contributors to make as little money as possible…

Like any compassionate capitalist, I give shares of our monthly membership revenue directly to our stable of contributors so they can make some extra money each month. If you hate their columns and work, please don’t become a member!

Anyway, that’s just 7 reasons why you shouldn’t support us. I’m sure there are dozens and dozens and dozens of other reasons, too. Let us know in the comments.

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3 Responses

  1. OK, where is the story that has the picture of Louis Fowler panhandling? I have to see the context behind that…..

  2. I want to support Lewis Fowler so he can tell me where to eat at really good gas stations (is that an oxymoron?) and not have to stand in traffic near Penn Square with a cardboard sign

  3. Hell I HATE my ex-wife but send her $317.45 ever month. Plus who doesn’t need another beer koozie and a pen that’ll leak ink all over your favorite shirt?

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