Get Ready, Oklahoma. Ranch-themed Crocs are about to drop.

Oklahoma’s streetwear scene is lacking.

Sure, we’ve got basketball players showing up for pre-game with their stylish fits. You also have the hypebeasts skateboarding in front of The Laboratory in Midtown, a shop that sells extremely expensive and sought-after Nike and Supreme gear.

But a bomb has been dropped that could change Oklahoma fashion forever.

From The Takeout:

[…]The latest in streetwear innovation may be the most baffling: Hidden Valley Ranch and Crocs have teamed up to create the Hidden Valley Ranch x Crocs Classic Clog.

According to a press release sent to The Takeout, the brands have teamed up with California streetwear brand The Hundreds for the drop. The release explains that the “off-white-colored Classic Clog” features little green speckles to look just like Hidden Valley Ranch. The brands write: “Just like ranch dressing, these clogs can go with everything if you love them enough.”

Yes, that’s correct. Croc’s is making a Hidden Valley Ranch shoes. If you thought it was hard to find Sonic Seltzer, just imagine how long the lines will be at Famous Footwear to get a pair of these!

Seriously, Hidden Valley Ranch Crocs? This just screams “Dad in Yukon who owns a pontoon and a boathouse in Eufaula.” I know Crocs have their lovers, but they’re like sweatpants to me – you’ll only ever catch me wearing them if I’m in my own apartment, or going to the drug store out of necessity. Basically, I’ve been wearing them a lot over the past year.

Let’s take a second look at these beauties:

As a lifelong Okie, I don’t trust anyone who does not use Ranch as a default condiment for many food items. I’m mostly a hot sauce guy, but if you slap some Hidden Valley in front of me at a pizza party, you know I’m going to town. But the actual shoes… I could go without. They look zesty but I’ll probably wait until they come out with a Thousand Island variety.

Either way, good luck to all my fans who love to dip their fried okra and have comfortable footwear while they do it, cuz these things are probably gonna go fast.

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5 Responses

  1. Whoever convinced so many Americans that buying and wearing stuff that advertises a product is cool… was an evil genius. Paying a company for the right to promote its products? Brilliant! But ranch dressing? Seriously?

    That must have followed convincing folks that they needed to wear a particular brand to be cool. Izod shirts, Nike shoes, Calvin Klein jeans…

    I don’t get it – but, as you guessed, I’m not cool.

  2. Scariest thing you can hear is when your salad tastes strange and you bring it to the manager’s attention.

    He stares at it a moment and says: “Uh, this might not be ranch dressing…”

    1. It might be blue cheese, which is better.

      1. Bummed me out when Ranch came along and some restaurants threw out the blue cheese.

  3. Be sure to pronounce names of salad dressings the good old boy Okie way…”Rayy-unchh”. Also, “Eye-tal-yun”.

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