TLO Weekly News Round-Up

Howdy, pardners!

Welcome back to our new segment where you can get caught up on the news of the week. We always try to keep you advised, but some stories slip through the cracks. This is our way of giving your a rapid-fire catch-up of the going-ons in our weird and wild state.

We’ll give you the good news, the bad news, and the in-between. It’s usually bad news around these parts, but hey, you work with what you’ve got. Let’s get started!

Kevin Smith Is Bringing a Foul-Mouthed Pop-Up to the Plaza District


OKLAHOMA CITY (KOKH) – The cult classic burger joint “Mooby’s” is coming to the Plaza District!

The travelling pop-up experience will occupy the second floor Up-Down during its run.

All guests will receive a pre-ordered “Mooby’s Pick-Up Experience” which includes your choice of one Moo Main featuring a regular or vegan Cow Tipper Burger, Cock Smoker Chicken Sandwich, a vegan Cow Dong Brat, plus a Salt Lick Side featuring the Hater Totz or Onion Rings to Rule them All.

I loved Kevin Smith movies as a teenager, but some elements have aged about as well as his massive jorts. As much as I enjoy a good chicken sandwich, I don’t really wanna call in an order for a Cock Smoker. Something tells me whoever is taking the orders is gonna say, ‘I wasn’t even supposed to be here today!’ – Lucas

Science Museum Oklahoma reminds everyone they should never have changed their name

The social media intern who came up with this tweet may think they’re clever, and maybe they are, but all they really accomplished was remind everyone that there’s a sad new generation of Oklahoma kids about to become adults who lived in a world where the Omniplex didn’t exist. Seriously, what a shame that is. The Omniplex was an incredible name. It was fun and original, and not boring and snooze-inducing like Science Museum Oklahoma. Even if you didn’t know what it was, getting your mom to sign a permission slip to go to the Omniplex felt infinitely cooler than having her sign off on going to Science Museum Oklahoma. – Patrick

The Irish Mob Smuggled MP3 Players into Prison


TULSA, Okla. (KTUL) — Stigler police and Haskell County deputies arrested two men on Sunday who they believed were attempting to smuggle contraband into one of the Oklahoma state prisons.

Investigators learned Aaron Kaster and Danny Clark made the drop for the prison contraband earlier Sunday.

Deputies said Clark is a documented Irish Mob gang member, who was just released from prison two days prior.

[…] Officials seized about 25 pounds of tobacco, half a pound of marijuana, 12 cell phones, more than 20 cellular SIM cards, 100 lighters, 50 tubes of tattoo ink, over 20 knives, and several multi-media players, MP3 players, and spy cameras.

Smokes, weed, burner phones, knives, spy cameras, and MP3 PLAYERS? I guess if you’re trying to dupe people who haven’t been outside of the bars for twenty years, maybe you can sell them on a Zune. Either way, that’s quite the haul, so it’s not surprising they got busted. – Lucas

Fairweather fans come out of the woodwork to celebrate OU Softball Championship

The only thing more fun than watching the OU women slug home runs like the 27 Yankees is watching all the new OU softball fans cheer for them on Twitter. – Patrick

OESC is Trying To Pay People So They Don’t Have To Pay Them


OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — The Oklahoma Employment Security Commission announced Thursday that it is expanding the eligibility for cash incentives to those who return to work.

Anyone working two part-time jobs totaling 32 or more hours per week will qualify for the $1,200 stipend, the OESC said.

The incentive announced in May by Gov. Kevin Stitt was to be available only to those working full-time for 32 or more hours weekly.

Kevin Stitt is so desperate to get his economy up and going again that he’s chasing his tail. Sure, there’s been no raise in minimum wage, so people don’t wanna go back to Burger King for $7.25 an hour. How about we give you another one-time Trump stimulus check and you go back to the indignity of being yelled at through the drive-thru window? – Lucas

Oklahoma City to help gentrify Britton District

David Holt carefully posted a large Twitter thread announcing that he, our glorious leader, pulled enough strings at City Hall to use some public money to help the “Revitalization” / “Gentrification” of the Britton District. Regardless of how you feel about taking run-down, poorer parts of town and flipping them into bars, one thing is certain – watch your back, The Village. This is only but one step on OKC’s plan to utterly destroy you. – Patrick

Oklahoma City Tour Bus Bursts Into Flames!


Oklahoma City (KOKH) — A tour bus catches fire at a metro travel company late Sunday night.

Oklahoma City Fire crews were called around 11:00 PM Sunday to the Village Travel near I-35 and NE 50th.

Right now it’s unclear what caused the fire.

The big news to me here is, Oklahoma City has tour buses? What are they touring? ‘On your right, you’ll see one really tall building named by an oil company. On your left, it’s some kinda park where people do yoga pop-ups. Now, we’re going to drive by the decrepit jail. Enjoy your stay!’ – Lucas

Starbucks employees use meteorologists to get tips

As the OG of exploiting our state’s peculiar fascination with weathermen and local media for profit, I have to hand it to these Starbucks employees for figuring out a cool way to get tips. They should try this with the backup weatherman, too. Who would you tip? Jed Castles, Jonathan Condor or Aaron Brackett? – Patrick

Tulsa Has a Motorcycle Problem


We begin this story with some video of folks traveling at average speeds along with a request to you, the viewer, to prepare not to blink because if you do, you might just miss what happened.

“It’s not a question of if someone’s going to get hurt, it’s when,” said Tulsa city councilor Kara Joy McKee. She was sent a video of a motorcycle flying down the highway. The constituent didn’t want to appear on camera but told us it was shot just last Monday on the BA near 21st between Lewis and Harvard.

I’m a longtime advocate of people controlling motorized vehicles to be responsible. But any maniac who wants to fly across a highway with reckless abandon on a dangerous two-wheeled method of transportation will generally meet their reckoning. Unless you’re Daniel Johnston, be careful with those speeding motorcycles. – Lucas


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One Response

  1. Regarding the Britton project, the first thing they need to do is completely replace Britton Road between Broadway Extension and Penn. It’s one of the worst in OKC.

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