Scavenger Hunt! 10 things to spot at the OKC Freedom Rally!

In a few weeks, Oklahoma US Senate candidate Jackson Lahmeyer – the guy running as a more deranged, hypocritical and right-wing alternative to Senator James Lankford– is hosting a fundraiser called the “OKC Freedom Rally.”

Naturally, the event is taking place in Norman.

According to the poster, the rally will feature a who’s-who list of nut job politicians, discredited physicians and other Trump grifters and profiteers looking to preach to the choir, spread falsehoods and misinformation, and make themselves feel like victims.

Here’s the poster:

Boy, that looks like a lot of fun! You know, if you hate fun.

To give our readers an excuse to attend this “freedom” rally that’s being organized by people who, ironically enough, have warped and very hypocritical views on freedom, Patrick and I thought we’d put together a little scavenger hunt for the event.

Here’s how it works:

• Go to the OKC Freedom Rally in Norman.

• Look for the items on the list below. Get 1-point for each item you spot or collect.

• The person with the most points wins a free toy from our friends at Patricia’s!

With the rules out of the way, here you go:

Selfie with a convicted felon

This one’s basically a freebie.

Candy from a James Lankford Pinata

Outside of liberals, minority groups and science, there’s nothing the hardcore Oklahoma MAGA crowd loathes more than James Lankford. They seriously think he’s a liberal RINO because he didn’t totally play along with the whole stolen election / attempted insurrection thing.

Either way, be sure to grab some candy from one of what I assume will be many James Lankford pinatas they’ll have set up at the event. For only a $5 donation to Lahmeyer’s campaign, you can get a couple of whacks at a wacky senator who isn’t wacky enough for the State GOP.  If you connect, expect to be showered with red and white peppermints and those weird little strawberry-wrapped candies that would come in Pepperidge Farms gifts. You know, to mock his skin tone. – Patrick

Toby Keith Cosplayers

It’ll be late June at a Republican rally within walking distance of a Chili’s. Be prepared to spot at least a handful of folk in sleeveless Old Navy 4th of July shirts and ruffia straw hats with a third-grade understanding of US history and no spice tolerance. – Hayley

Camille and Haley CD

Camille and Haley – Oklahoma’s favorite pair of evangelical crooning sisters – will be providing entertainment at the event. Although they look like they fell out of a Hobby Lobby clothing catalog, they’ve never been ones to shy away from politics. They jumped all aboard the MAGA train, which they boarded after jumping off the Santorum one. – Patrick

Steven Bauer Autograph

Steven Bauer is a guest speaker at the OKC Freedom Rally and apparently an actor. Be on the lookout for autographs by Mannie Ribera from Scarface and Jimmy Sykes from the “Ho’oilina” episode of Hawaii Five-0. Bonus points if the autograph is on a tit. – Hayley

Selfie with a moron dressed up like vigilante preacher from the 1700s

Former Oklahoma State Rep. Dan Fisher will be one of the speakers at the event. Recently named one of the Top 15 Derplahomans of the 2010s, he once traveled the state performing a one-man show called Bring Back the Black Robe Regiment. Here’s how he described it on its now-defunct website:

In “Bringing Back the Black Robed Regiment” presentation, Dan, in full period costume, tells the inspiring story of the “patriot pastors” of America’s War of Independence. Through a moving multimedia presentation, Dan brings to life their forgotten history and tells of their courageous stand for liberty and truth. He makes the convincing argument that, without a resurgence of biblical patriotism in the pulpit, America cannot survive much longer. Dan, like the Black Robed Regiment of ’76, believes it is high time for America’s Christian leaders to speak loudly, act boldly and bring Back the Black Robed Regiment.

We have no clue if Dan will be in full character at the rally, or if he – like most former tea partiers – ditch the 1776 patriot cosplay for the traditional Red hat MAGA stuff. Either way, a selfie will Dan will work. – Patrick

Young Living Oils

Since Jackson Lahmeyer has spoken out vehemently against big pharma’s COVID-19 shots and refused to get vaccinated because we don’t live in China (?), something has got to protect the masses against the goddang global pandemic. And for this rally, that something is probably thieves oil. – Hayley

Someone wearing a Facemask

This would be like finding a metal slime in Dragon Warrior. Even If you stumble across one, they’ll probably run away before you can do anything about it. – Patrick

Find A Bigot

Since spotting a person wearing a facemask will be borderline impossible, we’ll throw in an easy one. – Patrick


Cedar Hills Baptist Youth Camp Apparel

You know Jackson Lahmeyer’s opponent James Lankford still has a stranglehold on the Falls Creek alumni voter base. But those former Cedar Hills Baptist Youth Camp campers will be Lahmeyer’s ace in the hole come 2022. – Hayley

Sorry, Hayley already has plans for the 26th. Follow her on twitter @squirrellygeek and become a contributing member of TLO here.

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27 Responses

  1. In all seriousness, I hope an Ogle Mole goes and finds a way to provide photo/video. It would be interesting to see the level of attendance, if/who any local politicians/celebs attend and just the vibe of the event. I would go BUT I’m not strong enough or willing to endure the propaganda (basically I’m scared and don’t want to do it, but want someone else to do it! LOL).
    I also am very curious as to what level, if any, the local media will provide coverage wise.

    1. Local media? NonDoc, the Frontier, OKC Free Press, and TLO are your best bets. Maybe an NPR station too.

      Forget TV and the big dying newspapers.

  2. Why “naturally” Norman? I think Edmond would be a much more “natural” place for this shit!!!

    1. Would be stunned if Senator Rob Standridge is not partially behind securing it in Norman. He can probably sign up some militia members at this event.

    2. Hardly, Edmond is going Purple. Norman is going crazy.

      1. really it’s a loud bullying minority , developers angry the council won’t let them run roughshod over the town and declined a tiff for that stupid proposal of an off campus basketball arena in that awful North Base Development, because it would have been a costly deal for the city and a boon for their interests. They seized on the defund police noise to rile up wackos for a petition drive to recall the mayor and council, even paying homeless people $5 a signature only got enough for one ward on the West side across the highway, after they tossed all the fraudulent signatures of course, and that side is really baja Moore anyway.

        1. I find the Norman cops are the most abusive in the metro. If law enforcement can’t show some curtesy in a college town with some hospitality, they shouldn’t expect all these developments to be successful.

          I remember in the early ’70s that Norman had a $5 civil fine for pot. A few years ago, they went nuts about some shop selling pipes. Certainly legal cannabis is changing things but it just shows what’s gone wrong there. No doubt Boren was a big part of that change. Instead of seeing Dylan at the Noble, he brought in Van Cliburn. Nothing wrong with Van but not at the expense of the other.

          The whole vibe of the place has changed. I for one didn’t like being tailgated in the Norman ‘burbs at night with the brights on, only to find it was a cop doing it so he pull me over for a “quick” lane change. I was driving an old Camaro and the cop admitted he thought I was a teenager. So that was justification? Jackass covered his ass and gave me a warning.

          I’d think twice about funding anyone’s tuition down there. Doesn’t Inhoff’s climate denying professor work there. Didn’t Boren chase off the OU / State geologist for blowing the whistle on the earthquakes?

          I’ll ride with a buddy to go to a game, won’t drive myself anymore. Or just watch on TV

          1. And get off my lawn punk!

    3. Don’t get Haley started on Edmond. She has a huge butt hurt about that. Her life didn’t go the way she wanted when she was here. High school stuff I assume.

  3. I understand I’m in a huge minority but seriously, how would a person actually choose between those two?
    I will admit that bringing in a recently convicted felon to speak is very impressive and will make the guy who let him off have a very difficult decision, what with the fact that the other U.S. Senator guy just outright went against the Constitution in favor of Anarchy. These are clearly two top end Republican scum bags. Guess that’s why there’s Q.

    1. Well, Lankford isn’t an actual insane fascist, he just plays one for votes and profit. In my mind, that’s slightly better.

  4. Will this constitute a protest and do current protest/automotive rules or laws apply?

  5. Unfortunately Norman too close to OKC and Moore and all that shit oozes down the highway, used to be a cool friendly town, now we have brick throwing whacko developers showing up at city council meetings packing heat and trying to intimidate members, Unite Norman, sigh.

  6. What a collection grifters and scallywags. Let’s keep them south of the county line.

    Here’s to the republican party eating their own. It might be worth it to see that self righteous Lankford to get the boot. In reality, would it matter?

  7. I wouldn’t encourage anyone to attend this. Between the extreme opposition to the vaccine, the extreme love of open & concealed carry, and hot tempers it’s probably less dangerous to cross I-35 blindfolded during OU-TX weekend.

    1. winner

  8. Looks like Camille and Haley (not to be confused with TLO’s Hayley) have an album titled “Mr. Right Now.” Given the sisters’ aggressive religiosity, “Mr. Right Now” probably refers to Jesus and not to some random carnal attraction. Or maybe to a carnal attraction to Jesus.

    Most Republicans now seem to prefer their candidates to be extreme, the more extreme the better. So this guy Lahmeyer should have an excellent chance of beating wishy-washy Lankford in a Republican primary. Since only 1/3 of Oklahoma voters are registered Democrats, and since very few Republicans would ever consider voting for a Democrat under any circumstances, Lahmeyer could easily win the Senate seat.

    Be afraid. Be very afraid.

  9. What? No NASCAR representative? Or WWE? If you believe WWE is real, you’ll believe anything so it should fit right in to this group.

    1. NASCAR is out since they banned the confederate flag. Those libtards!

  10. Metal slime in Dragon Warrior…nice

  11. You should award double points if someone spots a person with concealed carry while wearing an ankle monitor.

  12. Foresee a serious spike in Suger’s attendance following righteous rally.

    Warn the gals to arm themselves accordingly.

  13. At least this gathering of, let us say politely, reality challenged fringe freaks, is meeting north of Robinson St and close to Max Westheimer runways for easy in/easy out travel. I’m ashamed I got conned into an evening at the Lexington Baptist Church years ago by a friend who said I needed to come hear the truth about the Revolutionary War from Historian Dan Fisher. I knew I had screwed up when people were hawking his books, flags, three cocked hats, or was it three hatted cocks all the way out in the parking lot. The evening fortunately remains a blur to me but then that guy reappeared running for governor and got about 6% of the vote and I think actually was elected to the Honorable House of Representatives. And as Joe Biden would say “Here’s the deal.” Fisher may be the most sane of the entire bunch soon to show up and make complete fools of themselves which means Lankford is probably in real trouble with Lahmeyer. But as several have pointed out already there’s not a wooden nickel difference between the two when it comes to voting. Straight party looney tunes so why not bring carrot top back and put his voice for radio to work here. I suggest him driving an ice cream truck that sells only Braum’s ice cream which uses only the color red in making their product. And this would be the perfect event for whomever is going to run agains Mayor Breea Clark to reveal himself or herself…reveal as in announce the candidacy so we know who the sacrificial lamb is early. My choice is still the brick thrower from earlier Unite Norman escapades because, as we all know, throwing brickbats in politics is par for the course.

  14. I think they should check everyone that goes to the event at the door to see if they are “magnetic.” They should weed out the vaccinated – they are liberals.

    That being said, all attendees should be presented with a Covid blanket as a lasting memento of the event.

    1. another winner

  15. Ridiculous.
    This state is lost.

    1. Sadly, I concur. We weren’t this stupid until Reagan grabbed the Baptists by the balls over abortion rights.

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