Scratch That Itch: A Post-Movie Dinner at Fuzzy’s Taco Shop

8:23 AM EDT on August 19, 2021

Before Covid became a reasonably now-sensible part of everyday life, TLO bossman Patrick and I had planned to try Fuzzy’s Taco Shop, 208 Johnny Bench Drive, in Bricktown. While that never happened, after a recent screening of a ho-hum Ryan Reynolds flick, my friend and I walked across the bridge to sample the place, which I just realized is slang for a slightly-shaven vagina.

Though my friend had her fill of (somewhat) appropriate cinema snacks during the movie and wasn’t as hungry as I was, purely famished by the time the credits rolled. We walked the short distance to Fuzzy’s, as a Bricktown canal-boat sailed directly underneath us, capturing a romantic moment as, in the near distance over oddly-placed speakers, “Hungry Eyes” by Eric Carmen was beaming out to the masses.

And even though awkward moments like that always make me feel somewhat amorous, I routinely held back, not wanting an embarrassing incident as we entered the whitewashed taco joint.

Noticing a swordfish near the ceiling with the words “Eat Me!” painted on it—yet another reference to cunnilingus, I’m sure—we stepped underneath it to order our small plates of nachos, tacos and burritos for a post-cinematic nosh; as we waited for our eats, I started to understand the mounted swordfish’s plight of arousing hunger and the inability to do anything about it.

We started off with the “Famous” Chips and Queso ($4.99), though I’m not sure they are all that famous, as I had never heard anyone talk about them and their celebrity before. Still, with a strong red seasoning dashed all across the top, they were pretty good chips with the queso having a strong additive of well-made salsa in it. But “famous”…I’ll let you be the judge on that.

As we sat there waiting for our main meals, yet another boat full of drunken tourists passed by, taking my lovelorn heart with it. Before I could slaughter my rancid guts in a noxious tirade of romantic notions, our tacos had gleefully arrived. My friend had the Grilled Veggie ($2.29) Baja Taco while I sampled the California Heat ($3.59) Primo Baja one.

The Baja Taco had lettuce, tomatoes, shredded cheese, cilantro, feta and a nice garlic sauce that complimented the flame-grilled vegetables and black beans quite well. But my California Heat—which sounds like a quickly canceled cop show from the early 90s—was even more well-received, with bacon, avocado, cheese, pico de gallo, feta and a sriracha-lime sauce topped with grilled shrimp and placed on a flour tortilla.

Tacos fully enjoyed, we both split a Shredded Brisket Burrito ($8.49)—on the menu, it had a star next to it, so I guess that means it’s good. A large tortilla filled with ton of cilantro-lime rice, black beans, guacamole, shredded cheese, tomatoes, onions and garlic sauce—not to mention a couple of handfuls of taut brisket—I cut it in half and, on my portion, sprayed a little Butt Sauce (or whatever their hot sauce is called) for anal effect.

I’ve got to admit, in this world of corporate-gringo burritos like Chipotle and Qdoba, Fuzzy’s has them both beat, for the most part. With a side of Latin-Fried Potatoes ($2.29) to the left of my plate, it complimented the burrito quite well and almost made me forget that a tripping teen had just taken his shirt off a couple of tables down, preparing for a minor freakout.

As we cleared our table, I thought about grabbing her by the waist and kissing her deeply but couldn’t muster the courage; I’m not that guy, I guess, and I’ll never be that guy. Instead, I made a joke about something far dirtier, aiming for the easy laugh instead of a complicated friendship.