Patrick’s Friday News Round-Up (7)

The soundtrack for this week’s news roundup is one of my favorite acts to emerge over the last five years or so – Big Thief.

A unique blend of folk and indie rock with a twinge of Americana, and fronted by a music prodigy, they have a one-of-a-kind sound, and it would be really cool if some local music venue would book them the next time they tour the southwest.

To the news round up!

State Fair Uses Cops, Media Allies to Try To Convince People It’s Safe to Visit

After the first weekend of the Fair was marred by a double stabbing (and birth), the State Fair turned to its trusted bought-and-paid-for allies in law enforcement and the media to share some advice on how people can go to the fair, and enjoy fried food safely during a pandemic without getting robbed.

That cracks me up. This would be like sharing tips on how to safely shop at the I-40 Walmart! Part of the allure of going to the fair is the risk that you may get attacked by a carnie, injured on a ride or catch food poisoning from the corn-on-the-cob booth. Plus, just like an old OKC Blazers game, you never know when an impromptu fight will break out!

Instead of sharing tips on a safe State Fair experience, the media should tell people the best place to watch fights break out. Attendance will skyrocket!

Lawmakers are baffled why people won’t return to shitty low-wage jobs…

How much do you want to bet the “study” will conclude that the liberal policies of communists Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi are to blame for people not wanting to roll burritos for the Karen and Kevins of the world, and the “solutions” are more tax breaks for wealthy and big corporations.

Also, if you live in the Moore / Norman area and are looking for a fun side gig, hit me up:

Oklahoma man grows trippy badass corn with technicolor dream coat

That’s pretty cool. I wonder if the pale pink ones taste like Strawberry Starburst? If

OKC Thunder trying to keep as many people away from the arena as possible

Based on Clark Matthews’s predictions, I don’t think you can blame them!

Obviously, pandering Derplahoman politicians who never go to Thunder games are outraged:

That being said, some of the privileged offspring from the Oklahoma City ruling class who trusted and leaned on modern medical science to save their life from cancer, but haven’t got a vaccine to protect themselves from a deadly virus that’s killed 1 in 400 Oklahomans, don’t like the requirement:

Drunken lunatic goes off-roading at Lake Hefner

I wonder if the Apple Watch has a “running from drunken moron” setting in their exercise apps?

Oklahoma mason goes to nationals

He broke the previous record of 550 set by Andre Roberson during the 2016-2017 Thunder season

With no severe weather to fearmonger, Mike Morgan is now hyping monarch butterfly invasions.

I saw this Tweet in real-time and walked outside to look at all the butterflies. I didn’t see one, but did attacked by a horse fly. Go figure.

In the past couple of days, I have seen a few monarchs stumbling around, but that’s it. I chalk up Mike Morgan’s tweet to Mike Morgan just being Mike Morgan, and hyping up total bullshit for attention.

A butterfly ecologist kind of called him out on it:

Then again, maybe all the migrating birds ate the butterflies?

Brian Bosworth is a hypocrite

Out of all the people who played college football in the past, you’d think Brian Bosworth – a.k.a. The Boz – would be in favor of college athletes profiting from their name, image and likeness. In today’s day and age of absolute hypocrisy, that’s not the case:

In all fairness, maybe Bosworth doesn’t want today’s kids to make all the selfish, moronic decisions he made as a player. That’s fair, but I think the college kids need to figure that out on their own, and not hear it from an old washed-up college athlete who brought shame to their university.

On the topic of washed-up athletes, Mike Gundy also has strange thoughts about today’s athletes:

As the head coach, maybe Gundy should run his program like they did back in yesteryear? At the very least, he should recruit The Pioneer Woman as their nutritionist. She’ll make sure all the players get plenty of fried food and butter.

Anyway, that concludes this round-up. Have a nice weekend and we’ll see you next week.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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12 Responses


  1. You forgot to mention that Gundy called the officials in the Boise State game “crooked refs.” Given Gundy’s blind embrace of OAN, would he have held a Stop The Steal rally had the Pokes lost?


  2. The Boz says kids shouldn’t be further enabled to make the same kind of immature decisions he did, and you give him guff for it? Lay off.


    1. Brian Bosworth is full of envy. He is just bitter that he missed out on getting a cut that heretofore went to the NCAA, the Conference, and OU.


      1. I think he is still pretty upset he wasn’t nominated for an Oscar for his role in “Stone Cold.”


  3. Sam Humpheys might get the vaccine to go to the Thunder games? But not to save lives? Sounds intelligent.


    1. Lay off the guy! The world revolves around him. At lest so he’s been told.


      1. least


  4. Gundy should outfit his teams with 1950s leather helmets without face guards, a throwback to his good old days when football and America were great. What a maroon…

    When an article begins “Brian Bosworth says…” it’s best to stop reading right there. What an asshole…

    Some of our OK legislators want to preserve the freedoms of those who won’t man up and get vaccinated or wear a freaking mask, but care nothing about the freedoms of private businesses to lay down rules for attendees at their events. Bro, we all have rights. If you don’t like the Thunder’s rules, stay home. You won’t be missed.

    Bless our Native neighbors for growing that beautiful corn. Someday a plague like the Irish potato famine might wipe out the cloned monoculture corn that most farms grow, and we will need genes from Native corn to replace it.

    There’s a lot more weirdness at the OKC fair than at the Tulsa State Fair. It’s been this way for decades. Why? To “keep OKC weird”?


  5. “He broke the previous record of 550 set by Andre Roberson during the 2016-2017 Thunder season”

    Solid gold.


  6. If you’re gonna lay bricks, make sure they’re the ones with holes in ‘em.


  7. I’ve been reading that State LEOs are hassling all kinds of cannabis businesses lately. There’s enough ambiguity in the law where they feel free to come down hard. I remember reading here that Stitt appointees were put in place that opposed the law to begin with. I suppose they feel they can get away with it now.

    This might a good story to got after Mr Ogle.


  8. You forgot about the wedding of Jessica Bruno and Dillon Richards. I was hoping to see who was with Storme Jones at the reception.

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