Ready, Aim, Fire: Oklahoma’s Death Row Inmates Want a Firing Squad Alternative

Over the past few years, Oklahoma’s tried and true system of lethal injection for death row inmates has become so murderously dubious that someone has to be sexually getting off on it behind some heavy two-way glass in the back.

I mean, how else can people describe the continually botched ways that these recent executions have gone, mostly due to the painfully mixed chemicals. As a matter of fact, these executions have gotten so bad as of late that inmates are now asking for an alternative in their deaths: a return to the firing squad—yes, an actual firing squad—for their means of execution.

I guess when it comes down to the agony of your insides slowly killing you or a few well-aimed slugs instantaneously taking you out, the bullet seems like a better deal.

From KFOR:

An attorney for two Oklahoma death row inmates facing executions in the coming months offered firing squad as a less problematic alternative to the state’s three-drug lethal injection.

 Donald Grant and Gilbert Postelle are asking a federal judge to grant them a temporary delay to their upcoming executions…for the two inmates to be added to a lawsuit challenging Oklahoma’s three-drug method, they needed to select an alternative method.

You know, I recognize my allegedly communistic pro-life beliefs mean that I’m in the minority here; Oklahoma is an extremely pro-death state and there’s no way around that. Innocent or not, the convicted wrongdoers of death row must be executed with extreme prejudice!

If it’s a firing squad they want, what’s the harm—so to speak—in giving it to them?

Besides the cost-effectiveness of the whole thing—a mere few dollars for the bullets vs. who knows how much for those dangerous chemicals—think of the entertainment value! While I never could watch a man suffering to death due to lethal injection, I’m pretty sure could be swayed to attend a firing squad’s Christian duty, especially if they‘re selling snacks. Who’s ready for a TLO Execution Chamber food review?

Of course, this whole thing might just be a ploy to gain more attention for Grant and Postelle’s upcoming executions; I think it just might work! After all, if there’s one thing that Oklahoma and its people love, it’s a legally sanctioned bloodbath.


Follow Louis on Twitter at @LouisFowler and Instagram at @louisfowler78.

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10 Responses

  1. I don’t have a lot of confidence that the firing squad will work better (whatever ‘better’ means). Will the executioner complete the job in one shot? Or will it take several rounds with additional seconds/minutes of suffering?

    These fools better be careful what they ask for…I don’t know which I would prefer…..a lethal dose that takes minutes to destroy my insides or getting shot 6 or 7 times because Barney Fife can’t hit the mark.

  2. If I were being executed by the State of Oklahoma’s Keystone Kops, I think I would also prefer a firing squad. In Oklahoma, they can probably find four guys capable of aiming a deer rifle accurately at my heart – if they want to. I would refuse “lethal” injection, because our KKops’ track record on killing people quickly and humanely that way is, shall we say, not good.

    I would refuse the blindfold at the firing squad, like in the movies. No last cigarette either. I don’t smoke.

    If anyone cares anything about the cost of various execution styles in Oklahoma, we can read in this morning’s Oklahoman that the (anonymous) doctor engaged in execution details is paid $15,000 per execution! Plus more for training days:

    Good pay for a half-day’s work, even for a doctor! I guess he’s anonymous because of the risk to his medical license from that pesky Hippocratic Oath. You know the one: its preamble is “First, do no harm.” He’s probably a retired doc who would happily trade his license for $15K.

    I don’t know why they never thought of hiring a country veterinarian, who can put a sick horse down painlessly in seconds with meds he keeps in his office.

    Four bullets definitely are a lot cheaper than paying an (anonymous, again) compounding pharmacy to brew up the (hopefully) lethal injection cocktail. Even eight bullets surely are cheaper than the cocktail.

    An old coot who commented online used to say that that none of Oklahoma’s executions have been “botched” – because “They’re dead, ain’t they?” And that the cheapest execution method is hanging, because “We can re-use the rope.”

    Isn’t it great to live in a state that so pro-life? And look at the good effect that our execution policies have had on our capital crime statistics. (If you can find it.)

  3. My training is in what can go wrong. Beings I’m native Oklahoman I have easily acquired my PhD..
    That being said I’m fairly sure these two fellows must have received advice from out of State Lawyers. They just don’t understand.
    It would be likely the actual live ammo would get mixed up with the blanks. There’d be 10 rifles fired resulting in a 3 minute agonizing heart attack by the inmate, followed by a 250 million dollar lawsuit for pain and suffering all around, followed by the Governor washing his hands of the entire fiasco claiming that because of McGirt the whole thing is actually the Tribes problem because technically the inmate was standing up against a wall outside the prison which from OKC looks like Tribal Territory. Amen.

  4. Graychin, you are so right about using veterinarian drugs for an instant painless drug of choice. My very old Airedale had an apparent stroke and could no longer get up, so I had to make the sad choice to take him to his veterinarian. First a sedative and then the main drug and the old boy was gone in seconds without a twitch. I do wish when my time comes I could be taken to the vet clinic instead of the ER for a humane end of life!

  5. “Just do it”
    -Gary Gilmore 1977

  6. And honestly, so what if they suffer a little?
    did they show mercy or compassion to the people they murdered?
    I rather doubt it. Let the DOC and the state decide how and when to
    execute these two.

    1. There are rules when it is state-sanctioned. The problem with the whole thing is that we can never be 100% sure we got the right person in every case. A charismatic D.A. a dubious lab tech an inexperienced defense attorney and you have a recipe for disaster. It takes a “special” person to assist in the death of another human being when they have no personal connection to that person and it’s only a “job” or “duty” for them. What does that person do in between executions to keep their dark passenger at bay? How about letting a family member perform the execution and let’s see if they have the stomach for it 20 or 30 years after the crime was committed. In a lot of cases, you’re executing a different person than the person who committed the crime years ago.

  7. Honestly, why not just buy a guillotine if they want to kill people?

  8. I have always lived in the South where god, guns, and guts are the mantra, but I have never lived in as bloodthirsty a state as Oklahoma when it comes to the death penalty. That’s saying a lot, considering my first 37 years were in Kentucky, followed by nearly five in Tennessee before I moved to Oklahoma 16 years ago. Too many people think that the answer to violence is more violence. That said, I certainly can empathize with those who have lost a loved one to a violent act or that they were hurt by someone’s violence to entertain thoughts of immediate retribution via violence as well, but some people do manage to rethink it before acting on that impulse.

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