Every now and then, like on days like today when I'm celebrating my birthday and don't want to work, I like to provide a list of reasons why people shouldn'tsupport The Lost Ogle through a $5 a month membership. Here they are:
1. You own and operate a restaurant chain called Swadley's Foggy Bottom Kitchen...
I've been laid off before, so I'm fully aware of the financial stresses it can entail. When you land on your feet and find a new gig, come back and sign up.
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4. You're not a fan of free speech...
If you're a member of the radical right or the loony left, there's a good chance you're not a fan of free speech, and want to silence, cancel, or censor any opinion, commentary, or joke that you don't like or find offensive. If that's the case, please don't sign up as a Lost Ogle member, as your support would help liberate and insulate us from the pressures of cancel culture and self-censorship.
Hey, we all have our passions. Sure, worrying about non-existent issues like where some teens empty out their colons and bladders seems a bit strange, but you do you.
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6. We've exposed your racism
Racism is still a popular pastime in Oklahoma, but for some reason, racists don't seem to like it when you highlight their racism in a public forum! Maybe we should adopt a better business formula and promote and enable racism instead? That will really bring in the subscribers!
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7. Your credit card is in the other room...
Isn't that a pain in the ass? You don't mind subscribing and supporting local media, but you can't remember that three-digit code on the back of your card, and your card is in the other room, and, well, you just plopped down on the couch and smoked a bowl and will enroll next time, even though you probably won't.
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Anyway, I'm sure there are other reasons not to support this website. Let us know in the comments, or better yet, grab your credit card from the other room and sign up today!