Oklahoma noodler kills friend to avoid being fed to Bigfoot…

Noodling. Bigfoot. Meth. Murder.

No, that's not the sub-plot to the next season of Tiger King. It's a real-life murder non-mystery unfolding in Southeastern Oklahoma!

As you may have seen or heard, Larry Doil Sanders – a methhead from Atwood – admitted to killing his noodling buddy Jimmy Glenn Knighten along the banks of the South Canadian river in Pontotoc County after Knighten threatened to feed Sanders to Bigfoot like he was a Slim Jim.

Here are the details via Nolan "The Noodler" Clay with The Oklahoman:

A noodler has been arrested on a murder complaint after he confessed to killing another fisherman for trying to feed him to Bigfoot along a river in southeast Oklahoma, an OSBI agent reported.

Larry Doil Sanders, 53, of Atwood, drew a map and provided directions that helped searchers find the body of Jimmy Glenn Knighten in a wooded area Sunday, the agent reported in an arrest affidavit...

I've been covering Oklahoma's odd and unusual crime beat for over 15 years. From backwood cannibalistic castrators to the lady who murdered a disabled dwarf with a crystal ball to the entire Tiger King saga, I don't think I've ever seen a crime story with this many uniquely Oklahoma traits. The only thing it's missing is Larry trying to hide Jimmy's body in a mobile home as a tornado rolls through!

Here's more:

[Larry Sanders] discovered while at the river that Knighten "intended to feed him to sasquatch/Bigfoot," Special Agent Justin Brown wrote.

"LARRY advised he believed JIMMY was trying to get away from him so that the sasquatch could eat LARRY," the agent wrote. "LARRY would not let JIMMY get away. LARRY punched JIMMY and struck JIMMY with a stick. LARRY and JIMMY fought for an extended amount of time on the ground.

"LARRY confirmed he killed JIMMY by choking him to death near the river."...

The Pontotoc County deputy sheriff who arrested Sanders on the outstanding warrant Saturday reported he "seemed to be under the influence of illegal drugs."

Question for the legal scholars out there...

If someone threatens to feed you to Bigfoot, don't you have a right to defend yourself?

It's a valid question. Oklahoma has a wide variety of macho "Stand Your Ground" laws that allow people to defend themselves against threats to their personal safety, and I can't think of a bigger threat to personal safety than being fed to Bigfoot or a Yeti. In fact, I think that's why Hermey the Elf killed his best friend Yukon Cornelious while exploring the North Pole in 1983!

Sure, Bigfoot may be a mythological beast, but there are enough reality shows about it to make stupid people believe he's real. Even our moronic lawmakers have introduced legislation to create a Bigfoot hunting season, so you can't really blame a methed-out noodler with an IQ slightly above that of a catfish for taking the threat seriously.

While you stew that question over, our thoughts go out to both Larry and Jimmy's families. In an added Oklahoma twist, they're all somehow related:

The suspect's daughter also said he told her he killed Knighten for trying to feed him to Bigfoot, according to the affidavit. She said he was frantic and mentioned something about strangling Knighten, "and possibly firing two shots from a pistol."

The suspect's daughter is the girlfriend of the victim's son, according to the affidavit. The victim's son said Sanders admitted to getting into a fight over being fed to Bigfoot.

Even though Larry and Jimmy have made it very difficult, I try to avoid making light of murder on this site, so I should probably wrap this one up before I go further into the catfish nest.

I guess if you have any scoop or details or know the whereabouts of Bigfoot, shoot us an email. Stay with The Lost Ogle. We'll keep you advised.