TLO Lifestyles: The Life-Changing Benefits of Cool Whip

Happy Friday, you beautiful people! Welcome to this week’s TLO Lifestyle spread. Today we are talking about the latest trend in self-care: using oils. Many magazines and online blogs brag about the healing benefits of coconut oil and essential oils. However, no one is talking about the biggest secret in the oil industry: Cool Whip.

This miracle serum is a combination of life-sustaining water, healthy(ish) coconut and palm oils, and high fructose corn syrup, all of which provide small benefits that can make huge changes in your life. Now whether those changes are good or bad depends on if you buy name brand or Great Value whipped topping. So be prepared to add an item to your Sam’s Club shopping list, because here are the life changing benefits of Cool Whip.

FNITBT: Blues, Pride and Falkor

It’s hot outside, I can’t seem to escape political ads and I don’t get a vacation until July, so, let’s see if I can come up with something fun to do this weekend. You can always stay inside with the air conditioner cranked and binge-watch serial killer documentaries (oh, is that just me?) or spend the day at the movie theatre seeing anything just to stay cool. But, you could get a little creative and venture out amongst the humanity. If you choose to do the latter, here are some things to see and do this weekend.

At least the cows like Gary Jones…

Earlier this week, an Ogle Mole alerted me to a recent Facebook video shared by 2018 Oklahoma Gubernatorial Candidate Gary Jones. He’s the state auditor who for some reason wants a job that’s even shittier than the one he has now.

The video shows Jones in front of a herd of cattle “at southwest Oklahoma” the morning after a good inch of rain. He rambles about some things and then proceeds to criticize the other gubernatorial candidates for spending millions of dollars that he doesn’t have on advertisements promoting hollow, impractical plans to fix Oklahoma.

Although Jones isn’t the most polished speaker, the cows apparently liked his message. It turned them on like an Oklahoma lawmaker staying at a southside motel room:

GOP whines about LGBTQ discrimination. News 9 takes the bait…

Everyone knows that certain subgroups of people in our state face discrimination and exclusion based simply on their identity. The truth is, many Oklahomans still form their opinions of others based off of stereotypes. This can make it difficult for these marginalized people to fit into Oklahoma society, especially if that stereotype says they are a bigoted, back-asswards, nut cases hell-bent using their religion as an excuse to discriminate against people.

According to News 9, the gays may be discriminating against Republicans for a change.

Via News 9…

The OKC pride parade will march down North Classen June 24. It’s a celebration of inclusion. But Oklahoma County Republicans are told, they won’t be included.

“It’s sad,” said Oklahoma County Republican Party Chair Daren Ward. “I mean especially from that community.”

Oklahoma County Republicans say they wanted to march in the parade to celebrate some of their gay members.

“And then the next thing I heard is no and then we’re full and then I guess a big Facebook discussion blow up and here we are,” Ward said.

I mean, if it were true that OKC Pride was not welcoming the Oklahoma GOP to the parade, I wouldn’t necessarily blame them. Our Republican controlled state has put through so many anti-LGBTQIA+ bills that it’s beginning to feel like lawmakers are personally writing a custom law for every new Oklahoma kid who comes out as gay. But here’s the thing: what Ward is saying is more misleading than true. In reality, it’s less of a “blow up” and more of a procrastination problem.

Let’s take a look at the “big Facebook discussion” for ourselves…

How I always imagined an Anthony Bourdain trip to OKC would go…

Like any writer or food lover or travel enthusiast or current or former service industry professional, the loss of Anthony Bourdain last week hit me pretty hard. I found Bourdain right around the time I started writing for this site back in 2010, and both things are pretty significant events in my personal history as a writer.

But that’s not what this post is about.

There are a lot of ways to view Oklahoma. Some people love it, see nothing wrong with anything, and are happy to continue on as if nothing ever needs to change. Some people hate it, can’t stand anything, and leave as soon as they possibly can. Most of us are ambivalent and exhausted. We’re tired of showing up for a state that doesn’t really ever seem to show up for us. We want to love this place and feel at home, but it’s hard when there’s a whole system in place that makes change or progress impossible.