Obedient, Attractive, and Dumb: A Guide on Being a Proper Oklahoma Woman

Former Oklahoma City mayor and current bigoted ass-hat Kirk Humphreys has been in some hot water lately for comments he made on homosexuality and, more recently, women’s role in society. It seems like Kirk Humphreys believes that many Oklahoma women aren’t living up to their full potential as good, Christian wives and mothers. So to help other Oklahomans with lady brains understand our expectations, I have created a guide for right living based on Kirk Humphreys’ comments about women. So here are ten ways to be a proper Oklahoma woman.

But consult your husband and father first to make sure it is okay to read this.

Don’t pretend like your identity matters

A big mistake that many Oklahoma women make is living as if they have their own identity, even after they are married and have children. It is appalling to think of how many wives and mothers continue to identify as “artists,” “doctors,” and “executives” for months and sometimes even years after they give themselves fully to their husbands. So ladies, when you marry make sure to take his last name, his accomplishments, and his credit cards as your own.

Only be in heterosexual relationships

If there is no man in the relationship, how will women know to whom to submit? Eventually the women are going to go bankrupt and starve because without a man there is no one in the household smart enough to hold a job or make the decision to pay bills on time.

Be willing to live on one income

OK Lawmaker wants to train teachers not to sleep with students…

The dashing gentleman in the Glamour Shots for Him image is Oklahoma State Senator Ron Sharp. He recently filed SB 899. If passed and signed into law, it will require all Oklahoma teachers to complete “coursework or training on appropriate behavior between students and school employees.” Basically, he wants to train teachers how to not sleep with their students.

Here are more details via The Sapulpa Times:

In an effort to stop inappropriate relationships between school employees and students, Sen. Ron Sharp has filed legislation to require professional development training on the issue. Under Senate Bill 899, the training would begin with the 2018-2019 school year and would need to be completed at least once per semester.

That’s nice and everything, but while we’re at it, can we get Oklahoma lawmakers to take training classes to stop them from having inappropriate relationships with lobbyists, house pages, legislative aides, Uber drivers and 17-year-old male prostitutes? We can call it the Shortey Act.

Also, what about church pastors, youth ministers and bus drivers? It seems like they get in trouble just as much as, if not more than, teachers do. I bet they could use some training, too.

Here’s more:

TLO Grocery Store Review: Save-A-Lot

While many of us were lamenting the lack of quality supermarkets and grocery stores left behind in the wake of recent closings such as the infamous Buy for Less on N.W. 23rd and Penn, it was seemingly forgotten that there are plenty of other areas of the Metro where their only source of regular sustenance, if they’re lucky, is in the form of a corner convenience store or two spread out among the fast food graveyards.

One such area that has historically been hungering for a place to purchase said provisions is the long strip of road that makes up N.E. 36th, from just under the 235 exit on down to Martin Luther King and probably beyond. You’d think with the many houses and apartment complexes that make up the neighborhoods of the area that there would be something, but, for years now, the closest you got was the Valero that used to have the pizza shop in it. And even the pizza shop done left town.

Coming back from a funeral the other day, I noticed that the beautifully refurbished and remodeled Northeast Town Center shopping center was not only open for business but that Save-A-Lot–a smaller, more value-oriented chain that I remember seeing in Denver near the Casa Bonita I used to heavily frequent–had prominently moved in and was more than ready to serve the neighborhood and, being in dire need of groceries myself, serve me most specifically.

Monday Morning Tweets

Howdy, pardners! Let’s do what we can to make this week a good one. Everybody’s been sick all week, myself included. It sucks starting the year off and flu season is gnarly as hell. It gets worse than that. Many of my friends have been mourning the deaths of young people all week, namely Ezra Blum and Nathan Porter. I can’t claim to have been close to these guys, but I know a lot of people who were, and they’re hurting right now. Hug your friends, and be kind to everybody else.

Kirk Humphreys has archaic “beliefs” about women, too.

It’s about time for Kirk Humphreys to draft another non-apology apology.

Last night, an Ogle Mole sent us numerous undated audio clips of embattled homophobe Kirk Humphreys sharing draconian, misogynistic beliefs about women and their role in society. The release of the clips conveniently comes on the same day that Humphreys is to be seated, again, to the John Rex Elementary School Board.

Most of the audio appears to be taken from Christian-based workshops and seminars found at DiscipleLibrary.com – the “online source for the very best in Christian discipleship training resources.”

For example, check out this clip where Kirk talks about the roles that God intended for men and women at home and in the workplace. They’ll make any old, out-of-touch, insecure, judgmental father from Bethany proud: