7 survival skills all Oklahoma kids should know!

The closer it gets to 2021, the more it seems like society won’t make it past 2020. Thankfully, organizations like Providence Farms in Edmond are hosting gardening classes for kids to keep them busy while having fun prepare them for the fall of civilization by teaching survival skills. While gardening is important, there are other vital competencies our youth need to survive. In fact, here are 7 survival skills all Oklahoma kids should know!

Not Satire – Kevin Stitt creates “Oklahoma Pandemic Center for Innovation and Excellence”

Fresh off another White House Coronavirus Task Force report that shows how poorly Oklahoma has handled the pandemic, Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt announced yesterday with a semi-straight face that he’s creating something called “The Oklahoma Pandemic Center for Innovation & Excellence.”

Here’s the video announcement. I think it was produced by the same PR firm that helps North Korea with its propaganda:

The Pony Express: In the Stables with the Express Clydesdales of Yukon

I am fortunate enough to have been in the company of horses for a large part of my life, first when I grew up on a farm in Texas to, most recently, my mother’s stables in Slaughterville. I adore those moments when I run my warm hands up and down their tight, taut musculature, holding them closely as I breathe in the musk on their neck, their mouth chomping at my lush hair like it was darkened hay.

It might read like a line from a Peter Shaffer play, but, I promise you, it’s really not that erotic.

That being said, I had no idea there were stables that housed famed Clydesdales anywhere near here, let alone in Yukon—12701 W. Wilshire Blvd., to be exact—but last week when my ladyfriend asked if I’d like to take the day off to visit them in their well-made homes, I said of course; she called and made the necessary arrangements for an afternoon visit.

OKC Streetcar workers unionize in fight for bathroom breaks

The OKC Streetcar – our high-dollar public transport system that ferries air and loneliness from one empty corner of downtown to the other – is in the news again, and this time it has nothing to do with pissing off Steve Lackmeyer!

Earlier this week, News 9 reported that OKC Streetcar drivers voted to form a worker’s union. Here are the basic details:

Operators of Oklahoma City’s streetcars have spoken, and majority say they want to start a union. Health and security concerns, even a lack of bathroom breaks are among the top concerns.

Mail-in ballots for voting were sent out in August and counted on September 22. The results, two out of three people voting say a union is necessary.

I’m a liberal dude, but I’m not a big fan of labor unions, or better yet, what labor unions in America have become. I think they served a great purpose in the 20th century, but just like corporations, government agencies, universities, religions and other large institutions, they’ve long been corrupted by money, power and politics, and seem more designed to enrich the people in charge as opposed to the people they’re actually supposed to benefit.

That worldview being said, I still think this is a good idea! Here are two reasons why:

Rejoice! The Blessed Mother Reba McEntire has found love again!

“Minutes and hours and years may go by
But my heart knows nothing of time
So don’t cry, just keep me right there
In your dreams
And hold on to these words of mine
Forever love.”

-Songbook of Reba, Chapter, “Forever Love,” Verse 3.

Have faith in this year of our Blessed Mother Reba McEntire, my friends! Our prayers and pleas have been answered. For once in 2020, we servants of Oklahoma’s Patron Saint and Queen of County (sorry Dolly) have something to rejoice over!


Parent in bear costume wants Tulsa schools to reopen…

Last night, I stumbled across this story on KTUL Channel 8 about some stupid parent protest demanding that Tulsa schools fully re-open during a pandemic that, at last check, is still thriving and doing well in Oklahoma.

Towards the end, they interviewed this man:

Geeze, and you thought it was embarrassing when your parents picked you up from school in a mini-van! Imagine how awful it would be to have dad dust off his Furry costume to go protest for your school to re-open?

Obviously, the question here is why is this man dressed in a giant furry costume. Is he taking mask-wearing to an extreme to make a point? Does he want to make sure his kids have no friends or social life when schools open back up? Maybe he’s not allowed to be within 1,000 feet of a church or school thanks to incidents at Lake Roman Nose, and this is his cover?

Here’s what Jason Lautenschleger told the news:

Report: OK County Jailors tortured inmates with Baby Shark music

Knowing what we know about the conditions at the Oklahoma County Jail, I guess we shouldn’t be surprised to learn that jail employees are experts at deploying childish, immature ways to torment and psychologically torture inmates!

Earlier this morning, Nolan Clay with The Oklahoman_ reported that diabolical Oklahoma County DA David Prater has charged three former jail employees with misdemeanor charges of cruelty to a prisoner, and conspiracy, for forcing handcuffed inmates to stand and listen to Baby Shark as a form of extra-curricular punishment.

Via The Oklahoman_:

TLO Restaurant Review: Green Chile Kitchen

Before I moved back to Oklahoma City about eight or so years ago, I had been living in Colorado for around a decade. And while I missed the true Tex-Mex eats that I was born in and raised on, I was carnally satiated by the then-unknown to me craft of New Mexican cooking, with its sensual emphasis on the glory-bound green chile.

Though I have had random bowls of green chile since moving back, to be honest, they’ve been at best alright, never coming close to deep helpings I’ve had ladled out for me in places like Santa Fe, Pueblo or even Denver. I don’t know whether it’s the sheer artistry or inherent love that’s missing from the spicy processes of local cooks, but I had given up on finding a decent green chile here.

And then a restaurant like the Green Chile Kitchen, 12 East Main St., comes into my full life and, more importantly, my empty stomach.