TLO Restaurant Review: Kao Mun Gai

I live a life of piety and privation, trying my best to not to ask for all that much in life, this borrowed time remaining all I really need. That being said, there are two vices that I do tend to indulge in once a week: a good meal to write about and an album from Guestroom Records to soundtrack that writing.

On Saturday, these transient worlds finally came together when, after purchasing a vinyl reissue of Rodriguez’ Cold Fact LP, I walked a couple of doors down to Kao Mun Gai, 3709 N. Western Ave., to try one of their famed bubble teas, something I had been most curious about for quite a while.

Album slid loosely under my arm, as I read the outside window, it proclaimed they also served Thai chicken rice, another delicacy I had never had and now wanted to. Inside the slim eatery—only take-out and delivery for now, by the way—they have a small menu on the wall with very few items to eat, but plenty of written instructions on how to traditionally eat them.

Oklahoma School Board Member Chugs Beer During Drab Board Meeting

Over the weekend, this video of Western Heights School Board Member Linda Farley chugging back a Corona during a school board meeting made the rounds on social media:

That’s funny. If I was insane enough to serve on a school board, you can bet I’d do the same damn thing. The only difference is that I, like the other people in the video above, would hide it better.

Back in earlier days of the Internet, Linda probably would have become an overnight Internet sensation, received shame, praise and tongue-in-cheek adulation by the blogosphere, and went on Tosh.0 for a Web Redemption where she’d grade a high school Spelling Bee while shotgunning beers and doing keg stands.

Now, in today’s puritanical age of outrage, people are calling for her job. As a result, Linda had to issue an apology and come up with a medical excuse:

7 Toby Keith songs that predicted Armagedon

2020 has been a wild year. Some days it feels like God is just up there in the sky, throwing darts at the book of Revelation to determine what kind of apocalyptic madness is going to happen next. Though it might appear that the world is out of control, in reality these events have been predicted and cautioned about for years. But the dire warnings about 2020 were not given to us by any Megachurch preacher, so we didn’t listen. The message was more unconventional and cryptic than we wanted to believe. Here’s 7 Toby Keith songs that predicted Armageddon.

Top 9 GOP Candidates for Oklahoma’s 5th Congressional District (Ranked)

Although lots of people in central Oklahoma have already fraudulently voted in tomorrow’s primary via mail-in ballot, I thought it would prudent to go ahead and rank the 9 Republicans who are vying to unseat Congresswoman Kendra Horn as the 5th District’s congressional rep in the November election.

I’m doing this for a couple of reasons:

1. It’s always fun to spoof and make fun of right-wing weirdos and goofballs who have differing political views,

2. Based on our 2018 rankings of Oklahoma’s gubernatorial candidates, there’s a 20% chance one of these people will be arrested on either attempted-murder or murder-for-hire charges, and/or, devise policies that lead to more deaths during a pandemic.

Anyway, here’s a very scientific ranking of the 9 GOP Candidates for Oklahoma’s 5th Congressional District. Check them out:

9. David Hill

Coming in last place in our rankings is David Hill, son of Tom of House Kimray, vassal to Lord Harold Hamm of Continental Resources.

Hill has some slick and fancy ads touting him as some job-creating businessman, but what these ads fail to mention is that a huge chunk of his “success” is due to privilege and nepotism. The dude was born on third base with zero outs, and Ruth, Mantle and Bonds next in the batting order. His father literally gave him control of the family’s oil field equipment manufacturing company, KimRay, back in 2009. Now, for some reason, he’s no longer involved with the company. If you can’t make it in the family business, how can you survive in Washington?

Actually, considering he’d be working for the oil overlords, and basically doing their bidding, he’d survive way too well.

8. Jake Merrick

Jake’s a typical conservative, family man who owns a small business, goes to church, and argues about vaccine rights on the Internet. I clicked on Jake’s Facebook profile to learn more about his thoughts, opinions and other extreme views. As I scrolled down to photos, this is what I saw:

Oklahoma Dystopia: Or 2020, the Year with No State Fair

I awoke from my most recent harrowing surgery to a bleaker version of our already-bleak state, one where it had just been announced that the Great State Fair of Oklahoma, the annual tradition of trash and treasures for the slack-jawed Okie in all of us, would not be happening in 2020 due to the dreaded Coronavirus.

On various dented davenports and divans across this obese land, the greasiest of tears filled the bloodshot eyes of a once-proud people with nothing better to do this September other than wait in the overflowing unemployment lines.

Last year was the first time I was actually able to enjoy the beloved fair, immersing myself in the decrepit squalor of pure Oklahomania that surrounds us all there, with mortal dangers on the midway that are far worse than any cataclysmic virus that’ll attack my precious body and its fluids, ranging from ill-stored corn-dog batter to Snow White’s razor-sharp ice-skate settling some unrelated business out in the parking lot.

Twister is getting the Hollywood reboot treatment

Although this will probably get me uninvited to Emily Sutton’s annual Summertime Sunshine Jubilee, I have a confession to make – I hated the movie Twister.

When it was released in 1996, during the heart of that decade’s drab summer blockbuster disaster film boom, I thought it was an absurdly unrealistic, poorly written flick that reinforced the folksy, churchy, country lovin’ stereotype of the Oklahoma people that still exists today. But…I did think it was cool that it was filmed in Oklahoma, and that some girl I barely knew from high school got to play the role of Drive-In Girl.

Nearly 25 years later, my feelings about the movie have warmed a little bit. It’s not going to win any awards, but as the pic of Mike and Marla at the premiere attests, I do appreciate it as a relic of 1990s pop culture, and helping launch the craft of stormchasing into the jetstream. I’m also totally fine with this report from Deadline that the movie is getting a reboot:

Lost Ogle Show: Amber England w/ Vote Yes for SQ 802

On this episode of The Lost Ogle Show podcast, Patrick and Marisa caught up on current and local events (Trump, Pandemic, Tuffy Pringle) and talked with Amber England – a longtime Oklahoma politico, publicist and the person in charge of the Vote Yes For SQ 802.

They talked, obviously, about SQ 802, which if passed will finally expand Medicaid in Oklahoma, and chauffering Biggest Loser contestants across OKC. Check it out:

Should we have mentioned the Yes for SQ 802 is advertising on this site? Probably.

As always, you can download and subscribe to The Lost Ogle Show wherever fine podcasts are bought and sold. Stay with The Lost Ogle. We’ll keep you advised.

State Sen. Paul Scott tried to weasel way out of 2019 speeding ticket…

Out of all the nutjob Oklahoma lawmakers who have given us material to write about over the past three or four years, nobody has done a better job than State Senator Paul Scott.

Whether he was playing juvenile pranks on newly-elected Senators, making fun of a constituent’s family members on Facebook, sharing hysterical sexual assault memes, targeting low-income pregnant women with draconian legislation, or simply complaining about our “stupid” articles that made fun of his stupid thoughts, he’s a Derplahoman content-well that keeps on giving.

As a result of his embarrassing behavior and antics, we probably shouldn’t be surprised that Sen. Scott is now facing a couple of primary challengers in the upcoming election. We also shouldn’t be surprised that multiple Ogle Moles have reached out to us this week, providing a 2019 Newcastle Police report that documents a traffic stop where Sen. Scott pulled a Ron Burgandy-inspired “Do You Know Who I Am?” to try to get out of a speeding ticket.

Check it out: