5 things more helpful to carry in Oklahoma than a handgun

Having been a semi-functioning member of society for a while now, I have had my fair share of needless training opportunities requirements. For example, I took a driver’s ed course to learn to parallel park for my test back in 2007 and have not parallel parked since. I also still firmly believe I didn’t need a 2-hour lecture in order to learn to make popcorn at the movie theater that employed me as a teenager. Lastly, I’ve never met the Queen of England or the Pope, so you know damn well that those Girl Scout etiquette classes went to waste.

But even as half-assed as it is in our state, I am glad Oklahoma does require citizens to attend training to acquire the handgun license needed to conceal a gun on their person. That is, until November 1st of this year when “constitutional carry” is supposed to take place. But some Oklahomans don’t think the new law is as “constitutional” as it appears.

Via FOX25…

Oklahoma City, Okla. (KOKH) — State Representative Jason Lowe says the fight isn’t over after submitting a petition to veto the state’s constitutional carry law.

Lowe says he plans to go before the Oklahoma State Supreme Court as soon as Wednesday morning to defend the legality of the petition.

The court gave them until 5 p.m. Thursday, and wants to know how many signatures they got.

Just minutes before the deadline last week, stacks of signed petitions were hauled into the Secretary of State.

Lowe says there was no time to count and see if they hit their mark of almost 60,000 signatures.

“We don’t know the exact amount, but we do know that thousands and thousands of Oklahomans have expressed their displeasure with this law,” Lowe said. “They believe it’s dangerous. They believe it should not be enacted.”

Unless the law is challenged, as of November 1st many Oklahomans will have the ability to conceal a handgun without a license. The concept of “constitutional carry” makes me sad for three reasons. One, because even though the concealed carry training and application process is more safety theater than actual training, handgun license holders still have to go through background checks to be able to carry a weapon. Two, because I’ve already spent about $200 total for my own concealed carry class and handgun license.

Lastly three, since we live in the real world and not a post-apocalyptic erotic fan fiction posted online by some NRA card holder, there are often blurred lines between who is the “good guy” with a gun and who is the “bad guy.” Often times a “good guy” with a gun can quickly turn into a “bad guy.” After all, research suggests that bringing in a gun may actually make a confrontation more dangerous than de-escalate it. On top of that, a recent report by the FBI found evidence to suggest unarmed citizens were more likely to intervene and stop active shooters successfully than armed citizens.

But as an Oklahoman, I understand there is this need for rugged self-reliance ingrained in us all. I’m not saying I want Oklahomans to be helpless. I’m just saying there are probably more helpful things we can carry than guns, including…

Lord Governor Stitt’s PR team pleads for desperate mansion repairs…

For what’s certainly not the last time…or the first time, our beloved governor figurehead is in a sticky situation. Thankfully, it isn’t literally sticky this time, like when Christina Fallin’s septic tank regurgitated its content across the Governor’s Mansion estate. While that specific event may not have actually transpired, it would help explain the smell…

But, back to the matter at hand.

Our dearest Governor Stitt is in a crisis that we should have fixed a long time ago. Now, after many long months, it’s time to take care of Oklahoma’s top priority. According to a local award winning news source, our governor is in a stitty situation: his government subsidized housing is inadequate. You’ve heard us enumerate the importance and affordability of this renovation months ago, back when Stitt was considering, among many other options, residing in either the Centennial House or Buckingham Palace’s OKC campus.

7 best places at OU for hedonistic debauchery

College is a time for each student to gain a higher understanding of the world through academia and experts guiding your steps through the educational system; at least, it was at some point. Nowadays, college is an extension of high school hellbent on pile-driving people into horrendous debt.

One thing that hasn’t changed is the urge to commit debauchery. Sex, drugs, heavy drinking and senseless decisions are the forte of a college experience. Since college is a waste of time in the modern era, you might as well have fun doing it.

While you’re here, here are a few places you can let your hedonism fly free.

Epic Charter Schools has only spent $2.5-million in local advertising…

If you’ve lived, worked or visited anywhere in Oklahoma over the past couple of months, there’s a good chance you’ve probably seen or heard an ad for Epic Charter Schools. It’s the scammy online public school that seems to be more concerned about making money for its founders than educating Oklahoma students.

The reason you’re hearing and seeing all these ads is because the school – which, friendly reminder, is funded by taxpayers – has spent $2.5 million in local advertising. In case you’re wondering, even David Stanley Chevrolet thinks that’s a lot of money.

Via The Tulsa World:

Natives in Jeans: Oklahoma Director Al Mertens and His New Film “Lord Finn”

Oklahoma has many filmmakers; let me rephrase that: Oklahoma has many people that talk about making a film, but never do. Al Mertens, however…he was never one of those guys.

I originally met him a few years ago at a screening of Billy Jack that I curated. He introduced himself, letting me know that he was a writer and, really, that was about it. No boasts and no brags, which was really a refreshing change of pace in a filmmaker, one that made me want to keep tabs on him and everything he was working on.

That being said, I recently received an invite to the premiere of his new film, Lord Finn, asking me to bring some friends along as well. Accepted as part of the Third Annual Norman Film Festival, the movie will screen at the Sooner Theatre, 101 E. Main St., on September 14th at 6:30 p.m. As with all films in the festival, admission to this (and every other flick) is free and open to the public. So bring some friends.

Why are there so many cases of sexual assault in Oklahoma schools?

Maybe I’m still young and dumb, but part of me still wants to believe in the concept of a just world. I’d like to believe that people who pay-it-forward will one day get paid forward themselves. I’d like to believe that the Edmond mom who cut in front of me at the coffee shop loses her $45 bottle of Thieves oil. I’d also like to believe that school administrators who have sexual assault allegations brought against them in 2009 would have their licenses suspended in 2009. But alas, the world ain’t that fair, I guess.


Taking a look at OKC Craigslist “Missed Connections”

Every once in a while, we like to cut out a slice of the cake that is the Craigslist Community, and serve you a multi-layer piece of the sugar rush that is the Missed Connections section.

As a preface, it’s probably not a good idea to leave these, because the target of your affection will never, ever, ever see it, because the only people who look to Craigslist for love are the loneliest, and that beauty at the Wal*Mart probably has enough attention to not need to look at a weird, anonymous website. But who knows! If you’ve ever found Craigslist love that wasn’t purely transactional (no judgement), let us know in the comments.

Although talking about ‘plumbing issues’ can be a way of talking about really dirty things, I feel like this guy legitimately is more interested in resolving pipe problems, and not, like, ugh…. you know where this metaphor is going.

Heroic man charged with throwing cupcake at rude motorist..

Road rage can come in all shapes, sizes and forms of aggression. Personally, I prefer to give dumb drivers the finger and a slew of curse words that could only make Samuel L. Jackson proud. Others, on the other hand, prefer a sweeter and tastier approach.

Via The Pauls Valley Democrat:

A cupcake, like in the kind that you eat, is at the center of a Garvin County area assault case on the unusual side.

In a fresh case coming this week a Lexington man has been formally accused of a misdemeanor count of assault and battery with a pastry.

That’s right folks, it’s a pastry thrown from a moving car that led to the charge filed this week against 31-year-old Trevor Pearson in Garvin County District Court.

I’m not an expert on the Pauls Valley food scene, but outside of Kevin Durant, are there cupcakes out there that you’re not supposed to eat?

“Hey Bubba, can I have that cupcake?”

“No, that’s for decorative purposes only, Jethro.”

Here’s more: