6 months into Stitt’s “Open Up and Recover Safely” plan… and less safe than ever.

Like Michael Scott starting a sentence, sometimes it looks like Governor Stitt starts a policy and doesn’t even know where it’s going. Back in April, Stitt and his government implemented the “Open Up and Recover Safely (OURS) Plan,” which was supposed to look like this:

However, if his plan actually matched up with the state’s actions, the four intentions would really be:

  1. Based on presidential modeling and ignoring public health experts.
  2. Intended to ignore the fact of resurgence.
  3. Intended to sacrifice Oklahoma’s most vulnerable citizens for the benefit of the economy.
  4. Intended for the Governor to use to pretend like he’s actually doing his job.

The plan implemented a phased system of reopening the state for commerce and gatherings. Being that we are officially six months into the OURS Plan, we thought it would be a great idea to look back and reflect on how the state faired in each of the three phases. Let’s start with Phase 1…

Things Oklahomans Desperately Need for the Next Big Catastrophe

With electricity slowly returning to many Oklahoma City homes—I got mine back on Friday, after almost two weeks—I decided to take stock of both my emergency preparedness skills and my disaster supplies, only to sadly realize I had none, as I deftly displayed with this recent irritating ice-storm.

In a year that has been full of one terrible thing after another, from slight weather storms to angry Trumpers prowling the streets crying for the ballots to be recounted, I had to seriously ask myself: “What the Hell am I going to do when the next big catastrophe happens?”

I needed to get somewhat serious. Sure, I could lock myself in my rented room with my pup Sean and ride out the wave of probable terror or I could get somewhat pro-active and gather up the necessary items I basically should already have when the end—whatever end that may be—comes kicking in my door.

I decided on the latter.

OKC Mayor stays quiet during OG&E ice storm debacle…

Now that I have power and the Internet, and I’m no longer spending my days commuting between multiple houses playing the roles of girl dad, dog dad, and Uncle Couch Surfer during a pandemic, Halloween and Presidential election, I guess I have the time and mental energy to breath and work on this website again.

Actually, I don’t so let’s just regurgitate this tweet from earlier today:

Seriously, what gives? David Holt loves social media and the spotlight, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to put on his finest suit and sneakers and grandstand with angry Oklahomans during a crisis. Just think of all the different camera angles he could use for his down powerline selfies!

When the ice storm first hit, David Holt did actually talk about the storm, but only used propaganda from the OG&E playbook. It’s similar to the one the OKC media uses – give an update on the number of people without power, and then promptly praise the almighty advertiser, OG&E:

5 predictions for Jim Inhofe’s “final” term in office

Even though we’re almost to the 72nd consecutive hour of Election Day, not all of Tuesday’s races have us hanging by an anxious thread. In fact, TLO called the US Senate race for Jim Inhofe mere minutes after the polls closed Tuesday. Since then, we’ve decided to make some more calls about our senator’s upcoming stint. In fact, here are 5 things we can expect from Jim Inhofe’s “final” term in office!

His 92nd Birthday

I know this is a given, but I just want to remind you all of this because misery loves company.

Voting During a Pandemic, Power Outages and the Last Gasp of Democracy

With the power still defiantly out in the moderately low-income neighborhood I, unfortunately, live in, the trucks of outsourced electric companies mostly speed right through, never stopping and never repairing anything. At this point, I have to admit I’ve given up on heating, light bulbs and refrigerated food for the rest of the year.

Still, throughout this whole numbing ordeal, the only real fear I’ve truly had the past few days was that I wouldn’t be able to exercise my hard-fought right to vote, my powerless polling place redirecting me to some hidden building that didn’t have my name on file as I’m accused of low-level sedition by a chubby cos-player in surplus military gear, standing back and standing by.

That’s pretty much how I’ve been gastrically gas-lit this entire election cycle and, as the votes are currently being counted and recounted and eventually contested, might still be for quite a while.

TLO Restaurant Review: Jo’s Famous Pizza

At her job a couple of weeks ago, a co-worker had loudly lauded to my ladyfriend about her undying worship of Jo’s Pizza Place, 1438 S. Green St., in Purcell. This unnamed woman loved their pizza pies so much, going as far as to say “It’s the best thing you’ll ever put in your mouth!” and even claiming she was considering looking for a house in the area, just to be nearer and dearer to it.

With the ice thawed and most of the main streets cleared of organic debris, we headed out to Purcell on a sunny Saturday afternoon. A haunting sign that weakly flashed the word “pizza” swung near the parking lot of Jo’s;  a larger sign on the other side claimed they had been there since 1962. It was seemingly a popular place, with numerous regulars shuffling in and out during our visit.

OG&E apologizes for sending stupid alert about power restoration…

Just like the 100,000 or so other people across the OKC metro who have been without electric power at their residence since last Tuesday morning, I’ve been on the receiving end of a barrage of vague, repetitive and totally useless emails and text messages from OG&E letting me know the power outage in my area was being “assessed.”

Here’s one of the 16 emails that I received from last Tuesday through Saturday:

Although I first appreciated OG&E’s half-assed effort to keep me informed of the situation, the notifications got old for me and, oh, the hundreds of thousands of other people without power across the metro. This is because when they first popped up in your inbox, the notifications would get your hopes up that either:

A) Power was restored, or

B) OG&E had an ETA on when power would be restored.

OG&E must have picked up on that universal frustration, so being the incompetent, poorly run monopoly they are, they decided to send the thousands and thousands and thousands of irritable people who had already been without electricity for nearly a week a more specific update:

The Official TLO Guide for Surviving Election Day 2020

Happy Monday, my fellow Oklahomans! We are officially one day and 14,842 campaign texts away from the 2020 Election. Last week, The Tulsa World published a handy dandy guide to the candidates and voting process to help Oklahomans to know what to expect come Election Day. While I appreciate the effort, I feel like the staff at the Tulsa World left out some vital tips. So, here’s the Official TLO Guide for Surviving Election Day 2020!