Cosplay is something that I’ve never really gotten into. Maybe it’s all those years of going to horror conventions and being surrounded by 350 lb. drunk dudes coiffed in black trench coats and jerry-rigged Pinhead shirts, sweating their ICP make-up off while wreaking of burnt Fritos and Game Stop carpets as Corbin Bernsen and I try not vomit in an already crammed elevator in the middle of the Cincinnati Hilton Convention Center.
Let’s be honest, horror cosplay is kind of the scummy older brother that steals your CDs to sell for half an oh-zee of the Schnappster.
On the other hand, I have been given flashes of hope recently through the comic book cosplay community here in Oklahoma City and, more accurately, the group of costumed characters that come together almost every Saturday morning at New World Comics, 6219 N. Meridian Ave., to teach Superhero School, a fan-driven initiative to teach kids—both young and old—about the joys of reading comics.
And while every actor who participates does a damn good job of putting together the best studio quality costumes at home, there’s always one cosplayer that’s a little harder to take your eyes off of and that’s costumed kitten extraordinaire Kit Compton.
A real-life avenging attorney by day and a faux-real caped crusader by night, Kit is a living human torch that proves comic books just ain’t for the stereotypical nerds living their parent’s basement. With a wide array of boundary-busting classic characters at her disposal, Compton definitely makes Superhero School required learning. From Catwoman to She-Hulk, Compton’s cosplay brings every comic fan’s four-color fantasies to life and is the definition of the word “Excelsior!” She’s also our Hot Girl Friday. More pics below.
The lady pictured above is Carol Woodford. Yesterday afternoon, she stumbled across a snake in her front yard. Naturally, she did what any concerned citizen would do. She panicked, killed the snake, proclaimed it was poisonous, and then proudly called Channel 4 to tell them about it.
The only problem? The snake (probably) wasn’t all that dangerous or venomous. Of course, that small detail didn’t stop KFOR from running with the “Dangerous Snake Found in Metro neighborhood” headline.
From a now deleted story on KFOR:
Dangerous snake found in Metro neighborhood
It’s pretty scary when you see a snake slithering nearby, even if you don’t whether it is venomous.
For one metro couple, they knew immediately when they got a glimpse of a snake in their front yard, it was a dangerous copperhead.
Carol Woodford says in 18 years of living in the Edgewater Park neighborhood, she has never seen anything like it.
“This snake started off over here, and I thought he was gone, he ended up over here”, says Woodford pointing out where she first saw the snake at the corner of her yard.
Wow. You’re telling me that snakes move? It’s like they’re living, breathing creatures or something. Who would have thought it!
Anyway, I’m not a detective (or KFOR reporter), but perhaps the reason Carol’s never “seen anything like it” is because she’s literally never seen anything like it. According to the amateur herpetologists known as KFOR Facebook commenters, the snake was not a dangerous venomous copperhead, but a… uhm… well, I have no clue. I would share what the always reliable KFOR commenters had to say, but KFOR deleted the story from Facebook overnight. In the news industry, that’s what we call a 21st century retraction.
Even for an Ophidiophobiac like me, it wasn’t that difficult to see some inconsistencies in the KFOR report. For example, compare this montage of scary copperhead snakes that KFOR attached to its Facebook post with actual images of the dead snake. They look nothing alike:
You might recall from Patrick’s post yesterday, “Some Oklahomans still don’t know Barack Obama is a Muslim,” that some Oklahomans still don’t know that Barack Obama is a muslim. We know this thanks to a senseless clickbait study from Estately.
There are two facts to learn from his post. First, Estately is a national real estate company. Second, Patrick reads their blog. Why? That I cannot answer. What we did NOT learn is Barack Obama is a Muslim. He isn’t. He’s something much more interesting.
Through a link on the NewsOK “trending fast” banner, I discovered a story on MSN.com titled “Barack Obama ‘will reveal alien and UFO details held by the US before he leaves office.'” Rumors are abound that before exiting the position, the president, while in a “it’s my last day of work and I’m going to do whatever I want” mode, will disclose groundbreaking alien and UFO information.
I’m calling it now and in writing that he, President Barack Obama, isn’t a muslim, but alien. For bonus points, I’m saying he’s Venusian, from Venus. Why our neighbor and not from another star system? Because if he had that kind of technology and knowledge, he would have known better than to try to deal with Earthlings. We’re not very high on the intelligent beings ladder. He’s now stuck with us for a few more months and I’m sure he’ll chalk it up as a learning experience. His next planet will have more reasonable beings.
There is the possibility that someone watched the Chappelle’s Show “Deep Impact president” skit, particularly from the 2:32 mark, and tried to make it into a real story. I can’t imagine that happening, not with the integrity that internet people have, so I’m sticking with my theory.
Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town…
Earlier this week, Estately released one of those senseless clickbait studies to see what search engine questions people in each state asked more frequently than people in other states. Oklahoma’s was shocking. The most disproportionately searched phrase wasn’t “Am I pregnant?” or “Are trailers allowed in Capital Medical Center Zones?” or “How to survive a tornado… or earthquake… or flood… or wildfire… or rock slide… or sinkhole… or blizzard… or… well, you get my point.” It was actually “Is Obama Muslim.”
Check out the following map:
That’s kind of shocking. I wonder why so many people searched that phrase? You don’t have to spend too much time on Facebook to realize that most Oklahomans already know that Barack Hussein Obama is a Kenyan-born communist muslim homosexual-sympathizing dictator who’s hell-bent on creating a global race war against poorly educated, white, conservative Christians. Are people trying to reinforce what they already knew to be true? Who knows, but I should probably do some search engine pandering to get more traffic:
Is Barack Obama a Muslim. Barack Obama Muslim. Muslim Barack Obama. Barack Obama Islam. Barack Obama Koran. Barack Obama Hates Christians.
There we go. That should work.
Normally, something like this would serve as an embarrassment to a state that specializes in embarrassments, but “Is Obama Muslim” is kind of tame compared to what other states are searching. Picking a favorite from that map is about as challenging as choosing which Thunder girl you’d like to home with. I think my favorites are:
Before we begin, I should clarify the headline above is actually a rhetorical question. Although Oklahoma is an “at will” state and a business can terminate your employment at any time for just about any reason, we can’t technically fire the Oklahoma legislature on Friday. We’ll have to wait until November to do it.
Ha ha ha. Just kidding. I’ve written a lot of things about the Oklahoma people over the years – making sound, logical decisions in the voting booth is not one them. Expect the Breechens and Cockrofts and Dewberrys and all the other people who turned Oklahoma into the backwards thinking, archaic, discriminatory, trickle down cesspool it’s become to be re-elected in landslides. More on that some other time.
There are many reasons why we should fire the Oklahoma legislature (negligence, gross misconduct, religious pandering, just to name of few), but the most obvious is how they’ve caused and mishandled the state budget crisis. For example, while lawmakers were cutting budgets from essential state services and asking agencies to make difficult spending cuts and sacrifices, they set on cash surpluses and used shady accounting practices in an attempt to increase their own funding.
At least that’s what I think happened. English is easy. Math are hard.
Via Phil Cross with KOKH Fox 25:
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