Last week, Microsoft unveiled some gimicky website called How-Old.net that attempts to predict someone’s age by analyzing a photo. As you’ve probably noticed, the site has taken over the Internet like a bad Buzzfeed quiz. Over the weekend, friends, family and co-workers clogged Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat and even Adult Friend Finder feeds with images from the site. Although it’s about as scientific and reliable as the Bible, the site seems to work. For example, it suggested I was an 82-year-old male. Considering the age of our universe, that’s not far off.
Our “State’s Most Trusted News” had some fun with the site. NewsOK.com tasked Richard ViralNovaBuzzfeedHall to give some Oklahoma Celebrities the How-Old.net treatment. It hit the mark on people like Joe Dorman, who it accurately listed as a 43-year-old man who still lives with is parents, but missed on Kevin Durant by longshot. The site thinks the former real-MVP is a 46 year old, which ironically enough is the age of Greg Oden, the man was drafted one spot ahead of KD in the 2007 NBA Draft.
Anyway, this is kind of embarrassing, but we considered posting a similar clickbait article, only to have The Oklahoman beat us to it. The only difference is we were going to focus on large-breasted Oklahoma models instead of celebrities. As a result, we decided to pay tribute to the team at OPUBCO by posting the ages and genders of 10 Oklahoman reporters.
Here we go:
As we know, Richard is the paper’s Clickbaitor-in-Chief. I had no clue he was so old. It’s okay for a 36-year-old male to spend his afternoon’s blogging, writing social media headlines and putting together slide shows, but only if he owns the blog. Doing it for a newspaper is sad.
60-years-old?! Yikes. Those walks down Western must be taking their toll. No wonder Brianna doesn’t like Pearl Jam. They are way too new and trendy for her music tastes.
Back when I was a 21-year-old college student / waiter, I was scammed out of some cash by a dickhead who gave me the whole “I need $20 to buy a belt on my car” routine. Not familiar with that scam? It involves pantyhose. I’ll tell you more about it in a few weeks.
Anyway, I know what it’s like to be scammed. I also know what it’s like to be a scammer. Out of college, I landed a job as the “staff writer” for a local multi-level marketing company (ever heard of AM300?), and had to write cheesy articles about magical diet pills and how the power of a residual income can “change your life” if you enroll in the auto ship, purchase $100 in products a month, and alienate all your friends by trying to get them to sell vitamins. Legally speaking it wasn’t a scam, but it sure felt like one.
With that backstory in mind, you can see why I appreciated this report out of Lawton about a scam involving water bills. It was bold and absurd and possible even worked.
Over the weekend, The Oklahoman ran a heartwarming story about newly elected Oklahoma Corporation Commissioner Todd Hiett.
Last year, the career politician loaned his campaign hundreds of thousands of dollars to win a hard-fought Republican primary, and was having some difficulty paying himself back. Fortunately, the Oklahoma Energy Industry came to the rescue and saved the day.
We’ve officially entered that time of year where I can’t breathe because I’m allergic to everything. So, if you see me passed out on the sidewalk or in the middle of a grocery store, just know it’s the Benadryl and that I’m not drunk. Not that I care what you think. I’m just not into getting arrested.
Anyway, as always, I have all the best tweets from the week before and I’ve stuffed them into one awesome post. I bet you’ll never guess where they are. Oh. you did. Yeah. After the m
In case you missed it in the MMTs, Abigail Ogle’s boyfriend went to Jared. Yes, by the power of Greyskull, our viking warrioress is engaged. The world may never be the same.
Thankful and blessed! ….And surprised! pic.twitter.com/sRySKhSjUT
— Abigail Ogle (@KOCOAbigail) April 25, 2015
Heh, if you think the media goes overboard when a news anchor has a baby, just wait until Abby’s wedding date draws near. I bet Channel 5 launches a weekly 24/7-style reality show called “Abby in Love” to capture all the drama leading up to the big day, and then airs the ceremony live on TV during this fall’s sweeps. Trust me, it’s going to happen. And I can’t wait to see how News 9 responds.
I’m still trying to figure out the scoop on the fiance dude. I believe his name is Sven, and he’s a lower lord from the House Hringariki. I think this explains the white belt. It’s how they do things. Nordic culture is much different than our own.
Here are a few details I was unable to uncover the couple.
• They apparently met while raiding the riverlands near Tahlequah.
• They enjoy travel, long walks on the beach and eating turkey legs.
• Sven was one of Abigail’s first fake Twitter followers.
• His dowrie will include possession and lordship of the Ogle Family home, Flekkefjord, which is located on the southern shores of Lake Hiwassee.
• He will have to take on the last name Ogle, but only after he kills a boar with a knife and / or bear claw.
Anyway, we’d like to congratulate Abby and Sven on their engagement. We, along with Facebook trolls and the stars of Blackish, have been a little tough on Abby at times, but she’s actually a really nice woman and we wish her the best of luck in her quest for global domination.
We scoured through a couple thousand of the pics she’s posted of herself on social media and posted a few of them after the jump. She’s our Hot Girl Friday.
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