It’s kind of hard to believe, but the Oklahoma City Thunder tips of their 7th (!) basketball season tonight at the Rose Garden in Portland.
Before we take a look a 10 totally serious questions facing the team to open the season, here are some totally random bold predictions that will probably be wrong:
- The team will face more injuries, Kevin Durant will only play 20 – 30 games, and they barely miss out on the playoffs.
Yikes, that’s insanely sad and negative. Screw that, how about this:
- The backups gain valuable eperience during the injury outbreak, Durant comes back healthy, the team flourishes, and then at the trade deadline Reggie Jackson and Kendrick Perkins are moved in a blockbuster deal for a veteran All Star that helps the team reach and win the the NBA Finals
Whew, that’s better. Unfortunately, it would lead to…
- The team will re-sign Scott Brooks to a four year extension…
Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad.
Anyway, those are just random, somewhat pessimistic predictions. I’m sharing them with you so I can “Give It Up To Myself” later. Here are the questions…
1. Who will be the the next Thunder arena emcee?
Jonathan Meisner. Joel Decker. Matt Vaughn. Those are the last three people to hold the job as Thunder arena emcee, and not coincidentally, a who’s-who list of people who either want to borrow money, deejay your next wedding, or, well, borrow more money. They are also not pedophiles.
Yes, according to a source, Matt Vaughn is not returning as Thunder emcee. That means we’re going to have a new person wear a backwards hat, stick to the script, and remind fans that if they hit the backboard or rim, Midfirst Bank will still give them $100.
Who is this new person and how will he do? Is his name Chad or Colby? Will he have fun with the job, and when someone makes the corner three in the Cox Communications three-point contest say something like “Everyone in section 305 wins a free on demand movie from Cox! I hope you use it for porn because “Cox” sucks!”
Or will he just stick to the script, show no personality, and be another lemming for the Thunder Ministry of Propaganda?
As I said, these are all burning questions.
2. Did Thundor and Thunder Princess raise enough money for season tickets?
I’m straight-up sick of the ZZ Top beard. While a healthy beard can be pretty sexy when pulled off correctly (see Ryan Gosling in The Notebook or Marisa’s man candy), most dudes with excessive facial hair end up looking well…like a terrorist or that fire-and-brimstone patriarch of Duck Dynasty. A caveman beard is overplayed, not aesthetically pleasing, and the only kind of statement it makes at this point is that you probably enjoy telling people you play the mandolin and pay way too much for shitty coffee.
Not to mention, something about an navel-length beard is inherently creepy. Pair that with shifty eyes or any kind of atypical behavior, and you can’t really blame the public for some sort of moral panic. Is it right? Of course not, you’re a Lost Ogle reader and therefore know the derplahoman dangers of jumping to conclusions based on physical appearance.
So can we really blame the locksmith for this sort of a mix-up? From New on 6:
The worst thing about going out on a Friday night is the chance that you may run into someone who you used to know. And I mean that in the Gotye-sense of the phrase. Seriously, running into people you used to date is the worst, and it seems to happen a lot in Norman, where the townie scene is uncomfortably small. Couple this with the fact that if you live in the OKC Metro area then you know everyone by two degrees of separation, and it can feel really uncomfortable.
At least with social media, you can block people you don’t care to see or speak to anymore. And the State Supreme Court seems to agree. According to KFOR.com:
OKLAHOMA – Is a Facebook message an adequate way to notify a guy he’s going to be a dad?
That was the question answered by a recent Oklahoma Supreme Court Case, and it could have far-reaching implications for father’s rights in our state.
The case centered around Billy McCall who had a three-month relationship with a woman.
After they broke up, McCall says she realized she was pregnant with his baby and sent him a Facebook message letting him know.
McCall says he never got that message and didn’t find out about his daughter until she’d been put up for adoption after her birth.
For reals, guys. Check your “other” messages in Facebook. I guarantee that you have at least 3 messages from people you REALLY do not want to talk to, but you never got the notification because they aren’t on your friend on Facebook. It’s a great way to invite people to do things when you really don’t want them to attend. Keep this in mind for when you have to disclose to someone who you gave them herpes:
The sick assholes pictured above are Robert and Brenda Mettler from Claremore. Last week, they became the newest Oklahomans to be caught performing and/or filming human sex acts with dogs.
Via The Tulsa World:
A Claremore couple was arrested on bestiality complaints after police found at their home a video showing a dog performing oral sex on the wife.
Yeah, sorry about that. I should have warned you that this is a graphic and disgusting story. It’s worse than listening to this audio clip of Regular Jim Traber getting into a yelling match with an OU football player’s dad. I guess you can always count on bestiality to make Jim Traber seem tolerable.
Here are more disgusting details:
One cool thing about this blogging gig is that I don’t have a boss I don’t like named Karen telling me what to do. That being said, one big drawback to the job is that I don’t have a boss I don’t like named Karen to remind me when I do something stupid like forget to name the champion of our 2014 State Fair Photo Contest.
Yeah, I kind of forgot about that. After nearly 10,000 votes, the winning photograph is…
Let’s be honest. This isn’t a big surprise. I think we all knew when we first saw Miss State Fair’s photo that she was going to win this thing. How could she not? The photo is an all timer. She perfectly embodies everything about the State Fair and this silly contest we’ve held for the past six or seven years.
The winning pic was submitted by Derek M. from Guthrie. He’s going to win a big feast to Picasso Cafe in the Paseo. Here’s what he said about the photograph:
All I know about her is she has incredible fashion sense, and knows how to market herself. The back of the shirt read “Looking for the owner of these 40 DD’s u need
1. Big Ring 2. House 3. Car 4. Job.”
My friend and I were leaving when we spotted her posted up smoking Paul Mall’s by the ring toss. So in order to get a good pic my friend ran over and started playing, just so I could get a good clear picture of her, while pretending to take pics of my friend. We then followed her out and around for awhile, trying to get good pictures of her shirt before we left. As soon as we got to the car I sent the best pics we captured.
Derek wasn’t the only person to submit a photo of Miss State Fair. We were sent several photos of the owner of those 40 Double-D’s roaming the fair with some dude in search of corn dogs and/or billy goats. Here are some of the other entries:
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