The Lost Ogle


Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Oklahoma Secretary of Finance, Preston Doerflinger, arrested on DUI related charge…

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No wonder our state’s budget is so screwed up…

We received a tip today via the Ogle Mole Network that Preston Doerflinger, the Oklahoma Secretary of Finance, Administration and Information Technology, was booked on a municipal complaint of “Actual Physical Control” at around 1:30 this morning.

The charge is very similar to a DUI. Basically, it’s what cops throw at people who are over the limit and inside the vehicle, but not operating it. Or as this attorney who may get Doerflinger as a new client puts it:

Simply put, if you go to a bar, have too much to drink, and then decide to sleep it off in your car, you could be arrested and charged with APC.

Not only do you not have to drive the vehicle, the car doesn’t even have to be turned on or the keys in the ignition to be charged with APC.

If you’re curious, here are more details of the law.

We located the log of Doerflinger’s arrest in the OKCPD blotter. They cannot release the police report about the arrest until Monday morning, but we were able to get our hands on Preston’s mug shot.

Here it is:

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Hot Girl Friday: Sally Kern

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She’s baaaaaaaaack

In case you missed, it was reported yesterday that the leading troll of the anti-gay movement, Sally Kern – the woman who deemed gays a bigger threat to society than terrorists and still gets her hair cut by the blind woman at church – introduced three absolutely insane anti-gay bills in the Oklahoma legislature that would make every member of the Nazi Party of Ku Klux Klan very proud.

Via The Tulsa World, they are….

House Bill 1599 says that no taxpayer funds or governmental salaries can be used for the licensing or support of same-sex marriage.

“No employee of this state and no employee of any local governmental entity shall officially recognize, grant or enforce a same-sex marriage license and continue to receive a salary, pension or other employee benefit at the expense of taxpayers of this state,” the measure says. “No taxes or public funds of this state shall be spent enforcing any court order requiring the issuance or recognition of a same-sex marriage license.”

The measure directs state courts to dismiss any challenge to the measure and award costs and attorney fees to the defendant. A judge who violates the act shall be removed from office, according to the bill…

That’s fair. Just be sure to have the same rules for heterosexual marriage.

Kern’s House Bill 1598 would allow parents to seek counseling and therapy to change a gay child’s sexual orientation without interference from the state.

“The people of this state have the right to seek and obtain counseling or conversion therapy from a mental health provider in order to control or end any unwanted sexual attraction, and no state agency shall infringe upon that right,” the bill says. “Parents may obtain such counseling or therapy for their children under eighteen (18) years of age without interference by the state.”…

That’s cool, but what should we do about those “straight” people who are obviously gay? Can they get conversion therapy, too?

Kern also filed House Bill 1597, which would allow businesses to refuse service “to any lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender person, group or association,” and be immune from civil liability.

That’s hardcore. Hopefully someone will add an amendment that gives gay people their own water fountains.

What else is there to say about Sally Kern that hasn’t been said over the years? She’s a troll who sits around a campfire boiling gay billy-goat hate stew. In a weird way, her anti-gay agenda has helped advance the “gay agenda” more than anything else. When she opens her mouth and says the things she says, how can a normal person not want to actively support the LGBT movement and make sure all lesbians and homosexuals have equal protections under the law?

So instead of criticizing Sally Kern, I’m going to say “Thank You! Where have you been?”

Seriously, Sally’s kept kind of quiet ever since she got in trouble for calling black people lazy, only popping up that one time when she wanted to preserve a kids right to pretend to shoot a classmate with a food item. It’s kind of good to know she’s back at it and letting her true feelings shine through. All of sudden, our Sally Kern jokes and digs seem fresh and topical again.

Anyway, as a tribute to Sally Kern, and voters in Bethany who continue to overwhelmingly reelect a bigot to the legislature, I thought we’d pay a photo tribute to her. She’s our Hot Girl Friday:

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The Oklahoman also removed some lighthearted death penalty clickbait…

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Award-winning sports columnist Berry Tramel isn’t the only Oklahoman writer who’s had deal with “link” problems. In fact, “The State’s Most Trusted News” has a solid history of quickly removing or retracting content that was once published.

If you remember correctly, the paper retracted a front page piece in 2013 after they outed some county officials for taking advantage of very legal, yet somewhat unethical, real estate tax loopholes. Apparently, the article upset the local political power structure, which is a no-no for the paper that loves nothing more than to cater to it.

Then on December 12th, 2014, Jenni Carlson penned a typical Jenni Carlson column about the domestic violence charges filed against Oklahoma State’s Tyreke Hill. I’m not sure how or why we forgot to mention this when it happened, but the paper removed the column and then replaced it later in the day with something totally different. Here are the screenshots of the column as it was originally published (1 & 2). Old Tony said it’s one of the worst things he’s ever read. Here’s a link to the updated piece. They’re totally different, but on a positive note, at least NewsOK.com finally removed something written by Jenni Carlson.

I bring up all these past examples because The Oklahoman pulled another article from its website over this past weekend. This time, the victim of “link problems” was a light-hearted, casual and so very clickable slideshow that took a look at the “interesting” last meals convicted murderers in Oklahoma scarfed down before being executed by a state government.

Here’s a screenshot of the write up:

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Some people don’t like it when you make fun of Edmond…

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I’ve been writing for The Lost Ogle for almost 5 years now. In my first post I suggested that you, the reader, ply John Mayer with liquor and invite B.J. Wexler out on a date. You would think that this would’ve set the tone for my tenure as a TLO contributor sufficiently. Well, it would appear it has not.

So, I’m taking a moment to address the criticism and comments we received from my post “9 reasons I hold a grudge against Edmond.” Maybe some people really took offense to the word “grudge.” In which case, I really meant a grudge like that Japanese horror movie in that I’m just a dead, cursed ghost doomed to wander Edmond forever. Nothing to see here.

Keep in mind that my post listed the reasons that *I* will always hold a grudge against Edmond and that the post is completely based upon my own experiences, experiences that, based on the comments, coincide with the experiences of A LOT of other people who grew up in Edmond. Oh, and I’m pretty much Patrick’s favorite contributor, so I can do whatever the Hell I want.

To those who suggest I grow up, stop whining, or get a life: no.

To those who suggest that making fun of Edmond is somehow low-hanging fruit: so is the rest of the metro area. There are only so many stripper jokes to be made about Valley Brook. There are only so many hipster jokes to make about the Plaza District. There are only so many aging hippies on recumbent bikes jokes to be made about Norman. There are only so many cage fighters running Pit Bull puppy mill jokes to be made about the Mid-Del area. Admittedly, there are a lot of jokes to be made about Piedmont. I’ve only barely scratched that surface.

Some of you had more constructive criticism. Like Malia:

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Friday Night in the Big Town: Zoo Jobs, ArtNow Gala and a Ukulele Orchestra

I judged a science fair for 6th to 8th grade students last night. That’s the type of events a U-list OKC celebrity like me partakes in. I ate free Mexican food. You envy this.

It was nice meeting many of the Earth’s next scientists. As a judge in the physics section, I was educated in topics such as supercooling, the porosity of wood and its effects on burning, and how propeller blade angle effects energy creation. It was all impressive. Oh yeah, and then their was the kid with Mentos and Diet Coke. Original? no. Cool? That’s always cool.

It’s also nice knowing that today’s kids may have the ingenuity to possibly save our planet. I guess that’s what happens when you figure out that you are going to be living here and the older people don’t really care about the mess they are leaving. I wish them luck.

But what do I know, I’m not a scientist. Here’s your Friday Night in the Big Town:

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