By far, the most popular drinking game in all of Oklahoma is “The Gary England Drinking Game.” The second most popular is ‘asshole’. The third…well…I’m not sure what the third is. That’s why I, partly inspired by some reader comments, decided to create the Jim Traber Drinking Game. Read it after the jump…

When to play:
The Jim Traber Drinking Game can be played whenever Jim Traber is live on the Sports Animal. For optimal drunkenness* and results, it should be played from 2:00pm – 5:00pm.

Pregame:
Playing the Jim Traber Drinking Game is easy. However, before you play, you and your group must choose “The Ultimate.” This is how:

“¢ Before the game, each player writes down a Car Dealership, Indian Casino or Golf Course. Whoever picks the location closest to Traber’s actual radio remote will be named “The Ultimate” for the entire game. During the game, all players must refer to this person as “The Ultimate.” If they do not, they have to take a drink.

“¢ The player who picks the location farthest from Traber’s remote is called “Mark Rodgers.” This player must refill or replenish all the other player’s drinks during the game. “Mark Rodgers” must also agree with everything that “The Ultimate” says during the game.

“¢ If Traber is in studio, the players participate in a yelling contest. Whoever yells loudest is “The Ultimate,” whoever yells the least loud is “Mark Rodgers.” Once “The Ultimate” is chosen, the game can begin.

One Drink:
Take one drink for every time Traber says: “Big Fella” | “Yard Bird” | “Gentlemen” | “Solid” | “Diamondbacks” | “Jules” | “Norman North” | “Where’s Al” | “Larry Fedora” | “Daggonit” | “Big Fly” | “Corner Man” | ” Psychos” | “Humper” | “Those OU fans” | “TheLostOgle.com. I really love those guys!” | “Steelers” | “Baltimore”

Two Drinks:
Take two drinks each time Traber:
“¢ Forgets a name
“¢ Has a producer look up a simple sports stat or reference
“¢ “Gives it up” to himself

Three Drinks:
Take three drinks each time Traber:
“¢ Instructs a 45-year old man how to break in a new baseball mitt
“¢ Shapes the minds of our youth
“¢ Talks about gout, his son or his ex-wife

Optional Rules:
There are optional rules that you can add to the Jim Traber Drinking Game to make it more fun (and possibly even get you more drunk).

1. The Total Dominance Hour Lightening Round
While Traber is on the ‘Total Dominance Hour’ all drinks listed above are doubled. Also, whenever Jim interrupts Dean, everyone must take two drinks. Except for “Mark Rodgers”, who must take four.

2. The Canadian Television Rule
Purchase a six-pack of Molsen Ice or Labatt’s Blue and place one bottle in the middle of all the players. Whenever Traber mentions an appearance on Canadian television, everyone must yell “Tom Brennaman.” The last person to yell “Tom Brennaman” must chug the entire beer.

3. The Truth Serum Rule
In a glass, mix peach schnapps and Malibu coconut rum over ice, fill with orange juice and top of with a splash of vodka. This drink is called the Truth Serum. The first time Traber mutters “Truth Serum”, everyone must yell “Cal Ripken.” The last person to yell “Cal Ripken” must drink the entire truth serum.

*TheLostOgle.com is not responsible for any alcohol poisoning incidents related to the Jim Traber Drinking Game.

So that’s it! Enjoy the game. If you have any ideas or suggestions, please post in the comments. Now I’m going to go drink!

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