By far, the most popular drinking game in all of Oklahoma is “The Gary England Drinking Game.” The second most popular is ‘asshole’. The third…well…I’m not sure what the third is. That’s why I, partly inspired by some reader comments, decided to create the Jim Traber Drinking Game. Read it after the jump…
When to play:
The Jim Traber Drinking Game can be played whenever Jim Traber is live on the Sports Animal. For optimal drunkenness* and results, it should be played from 2:00pm - 5:00pm.Pregame:
Playing the Jim Traber Drinking Game is easy. However, before you play, you and your group must choose “The Ultimate.” This is how:• Before the game, each player writes down a Car Dealership, Indian Casino or Golf Course. Whoever picks the location closest to Traber’s actual radio remote will be named “The Ultimate” for the entire game. During the game, all players must refer to this person as “The Ultimate.” If they do not, they have to take a drink.
• The player who picks the location farthest from Traber’s remote is called “Mark Rodgers.” This player must refill or replenish all the other player’s drinks during the game. “Mark Rodgers” must also agree with everything that “The Ultimate” says during the game.
• If Traber is in studio, the players participate in a yelling contest. Whoever yells loudest is “The Ultimate,” whoever yells the least loud is “Mark Rodgers.” Once “The Ultimate” is chosen, the game can begin.
One Drink:
Take one drink for every time Traber says: “Big Fella” | “Yard Bird” | “Gentlemen” | “Solid” | “Diamondbacks” | “Jules” | “Norman North” | “Where’s Al” | “Larry Fedora” | “Daggonit” | “Big Fly” | “Corner Man” | ” Psychos” | “Humper” | “Those OU fans” | “TheLostOgle.com. I really love those guys!” | “Steelers” | “Baltimore”Two Drinks:
Take two drinks each time Traber:
• Forgets a name
• Has a producer look up a simple sports stat or reference
• “Gives it up” to himselfThree Drinks:
Take three drinks each time Traber:
• Instructs a 45-year old man how to break in a new baseball mitt
• Shapes the minds of our youth
• Talks about gout, his son or his ex-wifeOptional Rules:
There are optional rules that you can add to the Jim Traber Drinking Game to make it more fun (and possibly even get you more drunk).1. The Total Dominance Hour Lightening Round
While Traber is on the ‘Total Dominance Hour’ all drinks listed above are doubled. Also, whenever Jim interrupts Dean, everyone must take two drinks. Except for “Mark Rodgers”, who must take four.2. The Canadian Television Rule
Purchase a six-pack of Molsen Ice or Labatt’s Blue and place one bottle in the middle of all the players. Whenever Traber mentions an appearance on Canadian television, everyone must yell “Tom Brennaman.” The last person to yell “Tom Brennaman” must chug the entire beer.3. The Truth Serum Rule
In a glass, mix peach schnapps and Malibu coconut rum over ice, fill with orange juice and top of with a splash of vodka. This drink is called the Truth Serum. The first time Traber mutters “Truth Serum”, everyone must yell “Cal Ripken.” The last person to yell “Cal Ripken” must drink the entire truth serum.*TheLostOgle.com is not responsible for any alcohol poisoning incidents related to the Jim Traber Drinking Game.
So that’s it! Enjoy the game. If you have any ideas or suggestions, please post in the comments. Now I’m going to go drink!
Hahaha
Love the part about picking “the Ultimate”.
I was going to suggest a Pat Jones drinking game that would have heavily revolved around his stuttering, but I did not want to be responsible for multiple hospitalizations.
I bow down to you guys.
how about drink twice everytime Traber says “back to the phones”
Easily the funniest thing you guys have written so far, well done and can’t wait to play!!!
OK, just got a phone call from a friend who said this post was discussed on the Sports Animal.
Anyone who happens to have the audio of this, please mail it to thelostogle at gmail dot com. Anonymity guaranteed.
So did I. This reminds me of when I appeared on “5 Alive” back in 1988, only I don’t have flash that weird gang sign.
how about on fridays, have a be happy friday rule where you drink 3 times whenever the be happy friday song is played.
Funny stuff, Patrick.I think now Jim talks about his ears more than he does his gout. Jim can’t hear anymore.
This is funny. But listening to Jim Trabor stumble around the description of this game on air is pure unintentional comedic brilliance.
My hats off to you fellas. TheLostOgle just stepped it up a big notch.
In the words of my friend Pokoloco:
“starting slow clap….”
yea i heard trabor talking about it on my way to work. it was classic
lol, I came home and googled “jim traber drinking game” after hearing jim talk about it today on air. This game is classic, good job. I just KNEW i would see “jiminy christmas” on the list.
Also, Take a shot everytime Traber shouts “Oh that’s big league”. Just doing that should get you pretty well buzzed.
i’m glad that i was able to inspire you all in creating this game. i had meant it as a joke, but thank goodness you took me seriously. now i have an actual reason to listen to that fatass neocon.
Speaking of “fatass neocon”, there should be some rule where you have to take a drink everytime he puts down liberals as “sorry”. Two drinks when Al calls him on it and he has no other ammunition.
Who are the ad wizards who came up with that one?
What’s…the…deal
i’ve been seriously thinking about moving, but now i gotta stay. you dudes are pure genius.
pretty good stuff!
where the escbauch game?
Maybe this post will win me a date with Blythe.
Take a drink when a movie is discussed in detail without the movie title being remembered.
Daggone Matt, what’s the name of that movie?
Perhaps a drink everytime he brutally mispronounces a name. Hence, whenever he talks about “Dunavin” McNabb or “Brandon” Manzer, take a drink.
One more…when he sulks because Bobby Knight or Roger Clemens make the news.
What about a drink every time Al and Jim wander away from sports talk, and discuss family, politics,health, or their vacations.
Get ready to be smashed.
One way to ensure sobriety is to take a drink every time Traber mentions the way he folded in front of Bobby Knight a few years back. Traber talked the usual great game about how he was going to pummel Knight with tough questions at a Big 12 Tournament post-game news conference, or whatever it was, and then collapsed like a cheap card table, managing to ask Knight one inoffensive question, not demanding or even attempting to ask any follow up questions, and sitting his arse down meekly after his one mild query was slapped away.
How about a drink anytime that clown makes an ass out of himself, or everytime a follower kisses his ass.
a drink for everytime he makes a fool out of himself.
example–Traber calls a couple PGA golfers little girls because they ask people to leave that talks negative about him. Traber rips these golfers apart. BUT, fatass turns around and bans, bars, deletes and post or poster that talks negative about him on his weak message board. Another drink for anytime fatass yells, blows a vain and cuts off a caller who is doing a pretty good job at ripping him.
Classic. Jim is such a hypocrite. There needs to be something related to geography. I am still laughing about Jim recalling how Guyana being somewhere in the south pacific or off the coast of Africa.
Take 2 drinks every time he calls out somebody using the term “Gutless Amoebas”!!
you guys know trabes played in the bigs, right?
Please remember that Jim is a fine Christian and a very moral individual.
This is by far the most impressive website in the history of mankind. For some time I have been convinced that Traber uses fake callers to ask him the question about how to condition a new baseball glove. Then he starts in with the shaving cream and the wiping off of the shaving cream and the ball in the pocket and the rubber band around the glove with the ball in the pocket of the glove and blah, blah, blah. Here’s another way to break in a glove, big fella…go play catch with someone… Kill me, please.
ever notice how he changes peoples name around? Example-
Thom Brenneman becomes Tommy. Didn’t know Tommy was the official name of Thom.
Mike Gundy is Michael. I bet only Gundy’s mom calls him Michael.
Sounds like every time he says Sean Sutton, he says it with an accent.
He does this with everybody who comes on the radio.
How many time do we have to hear this dork say he changed Matty’s (Matt) Holiday’s diapers. Or sat down in his underwear with Cal Jr. You know he got a hard on when he was able to throw that one out there.
Truth syrums are for dorks.
I think “Steelers” should be changed to “My (or our) Steelmen”. Remember, it’s the team of both Traber and the man with the gold balls!
Doesn’t he say: “Big league” all the time.
Traber, you are weak. ban someone from your little site because they said you “sounded like an idiot” on there. You’re nothing but a little baby. WAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAA.
No JT drinking game would be complete without a rule for “basically” (especially if it conveys nothing about Jim’s point) and “massive” or its comparative “massively”. Flaming shots of everclear should be drained whenever Jim says “Al and I have been saying that for a long time”. I will now give it up to myself. BTW anyone who does not agree is A JOKE!
Did I just hear Traber ask Mark Rodgers
“If I asked you to come over to the house for a few beers and I wanted to show it to you, would you come?”
12/06/07 @ 2:13 pm.
Jim Traber is a joke.
I bet Eddie Sutton would love this game. What a joke that loser is.
Take a drink every time Traber brings up some “famous” guy his wife Julie once screwed. Julie sounds like a whore.
Ah, take a drink. Trabergut is talking to Tim Kurkjian, and all of a sudden its “Timmy” instead of ‘Tim’.
Take a drink everytime someone brings up someone famous they saw or a trip and Traber cuts them right off and talks about his time in Japan or brings up Thom “Tommy” Brenaman or someone else he “knows” but 1/2 the time he can’t remember that persons name “dadgonit, whats his name”. And then the person that was talking before never gets to finish their story because of course, its time for another break.
I am not sure if anyone listens while Traber is on the air, but i have notice another one of his annoying traits. Whenever he thinks he says something substantial or when he thinks he makes a good point, right after he gets finished talking, he sucks in a big, proud sniff.
Take a drink everytime JT asked a trivia question on air and the wrong answer is given, but Traber says its right. Question today was the 1st amateur to win the US open. It was 20-year-old Francis Ouimet and not the answer given.
After todays show you have to incorperate something for when Traber starts talking about 80’s music. Bonus for when it is Joan Jet or the B-52’s.
Forgive a post to this old story, but I’m just catching up. I love the idea for the game but it needs to be updated. We now need to assign drinks for references to Jim’s colon or maybe a string of shots when he starts itemizing the fruits and vegetables that he won’t eat. Quad shots for the term “diriticulitis” (sic). And when he starts kissing (daggonit who’s that OSU point guard that couldn’t hit the rim from the freethrow line….oh yeah) Gottlieb’s ass (who he used to rip mercilessly) you have to shoot heroin.