It’s finals week all over the state, so we figured it’s only appropriate to issue our local sports radio final exam. What have you learned this semester? Let’s find out in this 12 question quiz. There will be no re-takes, be sure to show your work, and good luck.
1. In which place has Al Eschbach least likely to have stepped foot?
A. Costa Rica
B. Dubai
C. Russia
D. Gallagher-Iba Arena during a game OU is not playing
2. Our prompter, Matt Meyer, will read out a list of games remaining on a hypothetical team’s schedule. Your task is to correctly yell out “That’s a win!” or “That’s a loss!” for each game.
3. If you see Bob Barry Jr. on the street, what is the correct way to greet him?
A. “Hey BBJ, how’s it going?”
B. “Bobby, you really look great these days!”
C. “How ’bout those Sox, BBJ?”
D. “I’d like to take a golfer.”
4. Craig Humphreys : A College Football Playoff System :: _____________ : Radishes and Beer
5. This is a list of 4 regular guests on the Sports Animal. Place them in order of least-obnoxious to most-obnoxious. To help you out, we’ve already filled in one spot.
Andy Dillard
Doug Gottlieb
Berry Tramel
The Fat Jack1.
2.
3.
4. The Fat Jack
6. Match each radio personality with the appropriate nickname.
Jim Traber
Jack Mildren
Craig Humphreys
James HaleA. The Godfather of the Wishbone
B. The Hump-man
C. The Ultimate
D. The Amish Gangster
7. An admittedly extremely small handful of fans have stupidly been criticizing the defensive coordinator of a local university. Do you?
A. Ignore them
B. Briefly criticize them the Monday following the game
C. Spend the entire week hammering the subject into the ground
8. How best would you describe “The Home Stretch” with Dave Garrett and Jenni Carlson?
A. The most female-friendly show in the market.
B. Dave Garrett and Jenni Carlson have a radio show?
C. No, seriously. Dave Garrett and Jenni Carlson have a radio show?
D. 3/4 of it is inaccurate. It’s fiction.
9. Three part question.
How many local sports radio personalities can you name? ________
How many United States Representatives can you name? ________
How does this make you feel? ___________
10. ESSAY: You have been asked to help start a new radio station. Management has asked your advice as to who the first hire should be. They’ve narrowed the choices to James the Marvel, Big Voice Guy, and Scissorhands. Who do you choose, and why?
11. And hey, whatever happened to Mobile Dave? Remember him?
12. The following events were varying degrees of awesome. Rate each on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being The Onion (very awesome) and 1 being The Lost Ogle (not at all awesome. Kind of pathetic, actually).
A. The Houston Fiasco
B. Random anonymous caller breaks story of Bob Simmons’ kidney transplant
C. Jim Traber/Billy Brown argument (You’re giving me your facts!)
D. Dean the Stream
E. Berry Tramel/Jim Traber 30-minute Chris Collins argument
Letter A?
will there be a curve?
3. I don’t know. You tell me.
No questions on JOX 930, I hear Pork is teaming up with Dave Bliss to discuss college hoops this season.
Speaking of which, how come Signing Day is not listed in question 12?
Hey, did you guys know Traber played in the big leagues? Just wondering if you were aware…. He played for the Orioles.
Hey Jim, I just bought my son a new baseball glove. How do you break it in? Thanks, I’ll listen off the air.
Dude, whither Paintbrush? Didnt he have a show of his own?
Thank God for XM radio
Second-time poster, long-time reader. Where’s my coupon for free Johnnie’s Charcoal Broiler?
Mobile Dave still calls KREF. T.J. Perry makes fun of him, as he seems to have brokeback moments with Toby.
Extra Credit: Create an essay on why the wealthiest host (The Hump-Man) does not brag about his money,house, cars,home electronics, like Al,Steely and Jim do everyday.
AL: We do not care that you trade your Corvettes each year for a new one.
11. Humphreys comes from money and knows how classless it is to talk about it. Al and Jim come from the east and know how classy it is to talk about it. Who is this Steely guy? Is he on the radio or something?
I think Hump man wants people to think he’s poor. I remember him going crazy one day because some caller pointed out his wealth. He spent most of a lunch rush hour assuring everyone that he and his brother never had an advantage because their father was rich and how he never gave them a cent they didn’t earn.
For a former big league ball player, Traber complains more about his health than any person I know.
Paul, you obviously haven’t experienced THE GOUT!
Is there anything more annoying than the Be Happy Friday music?…. right, the old Traber yell.
No I have never experienced the GOUT. But I have learned how painful it is by listening to Traber.
Shouldn’t the north pole be on there. Or “Next to santa at quail springs mall”
Tony, this is very nice work. It’s SOOOO “405.”
Um, shouldn’t Fat Jack be 1 THROUGH 4 instead of just “4″ ??
I prefer Traber’s baseball nickname “the Whammer”. It conjures up the image of local fatboy made good. Loveable, stupid, clueless. How did an inarticulate baboon with a Mendoza line BA get to be the “Ultimate”? Wouldn’t you agree that basically, it’s a JOKE, do you see what I’m saying? Al and I agree…
Traber played in the big leagues?
Yes, you are “MASSIVELY” correct! Not only did he play in the big show he was not a JOKE like JD Drew or other such YARDBIRDS. In fairness big fella, if you fire out Jim’s average in the Tijuana league he looks a little better than the highly overrated MBL record would indicate.
Just think. If roids had extended Jim’s playing days to 2007 he would be approaching 83 career homeruns…inc Tijuana…and Osaka.
Go ahead and make fun. Traber is STILL feared by all Japanese pitchers, but they don’t yet know he’s cut his mullet.
I wonder what hurts more, the gout, or listening to Traber complain about his GOUT.
And if I was starting a sports talk station, I would hire James the Marvel for everything, cuz with James you wouldn’t need callers.