A while back, I was driving along in my car listening to a local radio station when they cut away to a commercial break. Considering that non-satellite radio spends approximately 75% of their airtime playing commercials, I have become pretty good at tuning them out and using the time when no music/sports talk is happening to actually, you know, focus on where I’m steering the car. On this day, however, I was drawn back in when Wes Lane’s voice began broadcasting over the air.
Any loyal LostOgle fan is very aware that I have a sick fascination with Wes Lane commercials…how else would I learn that the Playboys I perused as a teen would turn me into a serial killer? (Note to self: bury bodies in garage when ice thaws.) Anyway, my focus on the road was quickly shifted to the radio, but to my surprise the familiar voice was not Wes Lane. It was just some guy who sounded exactly like the ex-District Attorney hawking boner pills.
Clearly, it was not a great commercial by any means. For one, it was as if my spam email box had come to life and begun speaking to me through the sound system of my car. But the thing is, I now look forward to this ad to come on even though I still cannot tell you what product they are pitching. I think it is listening to a man with a doppelganger voice of the Burbridge Foundation spokesman talking about pleasing a woman.
This got me to thinking…there have to be other commercials that are bad but have redeeming qualities that make them, to steal a term from VH1, “Awesomely Bad” (option two for labeling this genre of commercial was “Craptastic”–you can use whichever you prefer). With careful research, I learned that I was right. After the jump, see a ranking of the “best” our market has to offer.
7. “Generation Cox–Pauley Penguin”
Note: Honestly, this ad probably deserves to be on a list of “Actually Good” local commercials, but considering it would just be this and some “Real Men of Genius” ads, I doubt that article is ever happening. So, rather than disqualifying it, I will instead give it a low ranking.
What’s to Like: This ad has everything. Penguins, a kid freaking out when coming face-to-face with it’s idol (any parent whose toddler has encountered the six-foot tall Mickey Mouse at Disney World has to enjoy this portrayal), penguins, good production value, and did I mention penguins? I have a disturbing fascination with penguins. I’d explain more, but it will probably come up again.
What’s not to like: Digital Max
6. Fowler Dodge
What’s to like: I said once, in an article that was only slightly different than this, that I never knew the difference between the car lot ads. That isn’t the case with this one. The booming voice yells out “FOW-ler DAHjuh!!” or “five hUNdred dollars” as if he’s taking a really difficult dump as he recites his line. It’s awesome and I can’t help but imitate him every time I hear his ads.
Also, it isn’t Chad Stevens.
What’s not to like: I can’t help but imitate him every time I hear an ad. It comes on so often that my chest often hurts by the time my commute is over.
5. Shoe Gypsy
What’s to like: Coming to the realization that the people who run this ad have a shop in Nichols Hills.
What’s not to like: It reminds me of the time after I had my wisdom teeth removed and took too much codeine. I ended up watching television, and I’m pretty sure this ad was the only thing on. It just cycled until my mom pointed out that the TV wasn’t powered on.
4. Sports Animal Alerts
The ad begins with “Did you hear Houston Nutt has been fired at Arkansas?”
What’s to like: Brutal honesty. This ad is a perfect portrayal of what “Animal Alerts” have to consist. Just like how behind their website is on sports information, you would have to believe that their text messaging service would have to be nothing more than outdated information and by the time this ad started running not only had much bigger news taken place, but this wasn’t even the biggest news related to Houston Nutt (who immediately got a new job at Ole Miss).
What’s Not to Like: The fact that someone might actually sign up for “Animal Alerts”.
3. DMAC Cars
What’s to like: Seeing Kriss Kross make a comeback.
What’s not to like: Realizing that the kids in this video might be one of the five best rap groups to come out since I graduated high school.
2. Sells-U-More
What’s to like: Confession time. When I was in middle school, I actually bought a cassette single for Jordy a three year old (not three years in the profession, three years on the Earth) rapper. I had blocked that memory from my brain until I heard a youngster free styling, “I’m the little kid you see on the T.V.” If it had not been for this commercial, I might have forgotten to train my meal ticket, ClarkPupp, to work on his rhyming skills when he starts learning to speak.
What’s not to like: The Dru Hill wannabe belting out “Sells You More”.
1. Mr. Spriggs BBQ (thanks to reader “JW”)
What’s to like: A lot. First, the singer is actually pretty good. Also, all the questions the commercial brings up: The guy lip syncing while waiting in the drive thru line: How do you think they convinced him to participate? Did they offer him a free side of coleslaw? Did he think he was going to be the next Milli Vanilli? Then, there are all the customers they being white. Is that an accurate depiction of their client base? If so, why is their advertising directed at a different demographic?
What’s not to like: That I only knew about this ad because of a reader comment to another article. Mr. Spriggs needs to open up his wallet for the advertising budget.
I will ignore the Animal slap to tell you how bad your list is because of one commercial you failed to include…
The Pasquali-Palumbo lawyer ads are the best things to hit OKC television advertising in a very, very long time.
The one where they guy starts every commercial by taking off his sunglasses and points at the camera as if he were going to well… you know…
I am almost afraid to mention this ad because the guy does actually frighten me a bit.
Haha, I’ve thought about writing about that ad before, but similarly was afraid he would track me down and end my life.
What??? No Sunwest Auto??? No Sell Sell Sell Now Furniture??? No Take Me Back (I Wanna Go) Back to the Boomerang??? I certainly hope this is a work in progress.
It’s a power poll so there’s always the possibility it will get updated. Although, of those mentioned so far, I think most of those would belong on the Awful Commercial list.
How did Mackey McNair and Craig Humphreys escape the list?
LETS GO!!
I miss the Big Bob’s Used Carpet ads. Mrs. Grendel and I had a pletohra of jokes about those.
Also, I think any ad with the guy who swings his arm aroud like his elbow somehow has a ball-and-socket joint should somehow be on this list.
the boomerang commercial is a good one, gan
is anyone else alarmed that at the end of the shoe gypsy commercial the guy has a bear head on? did I really see that?
I have so much to look forward to when I move up here.
The song playing in the Shoe Gypsy Commercial is by an awesome local band called Student Film.
Also, let me know the name of the dentist who gave you too much codeine.
2001 Grand Marque? Seriously?
Of course we also have Marquis Furniture that is pronounced how it is spelled.
Ya, that song in the shoe gypsy commercial was pretty awesome, they seem pretty talented, lol
when i saw the bear-headed actor in the shoe gypsy commercial i felt like i was watching a david lynch movie or having a bad dream…………
Deano and Rosser’s Interurban radio ads rival Craig and Mackie’s for advertising excellence.
There was TV ad for Haley’s Carpets a few years ago that featured a shot of the dude’s gnarly old bare feet walking on oh-so-soft-and-luxurious carpet. Most unpleasant.
A long time ago I used to date a girl named Haley. Safe to say, the Haley’s Carpet commercial jingle always make me laugh…
Somebody with some flash talent needs to take the Earl’s Rib Palace “3rd degree burn wings” radio commercial and animate it.
That’s gold, Jerry! GOLD!
Does anyone remember the Del Rancho commercials that intercut a little kid for a seventies commercial with newer footage of patrons trying to eat their ungainly sandwiches?
What about ALL of the ads during The Locker Room?
Any Big Red Sports and Import ad, those damn blevins ads, humphries ads, and those Fowler ads.
Thank God for XM
What was the guy’s name that used to have the boot place at NW Hiway and Macarthur who did his own commercials? I think it was like PeeWee’s Boots or something like that…Gentner, I can’t look away from the spot that airs during the Locker Room with Traber in his “awesome” media room that looks like Elvis room at Graceland with the 3 Curtis Mathes tv’s in it…
Sherlock loans, Granny’s windshields or something like that. Tell’em grandma send ya. YardDawgs song. We are yarddogs and this is our fight song!
This Mr. Spriggs commercial is actually great! the singers name is CAM and he is a local gospel singer. The guy in the Hummer lip-syncing is a customer that eats there all the time, the customers are white, and yes, the majority of the customers there are white, you would know that if you actually visited a place that you were doing a story on.
Good call on the Locker Room, fellas…. In fact, I don’t know why the Lost Ogle doesn’t do a complete breakdown of that show (and it’s commercials) every single week. It’s everything that is “awesomely bad” about local TV!
Patrick W….when Mr. Spriggs opens a store that isn’t in Midwest City, I might visit.
I have tried many times to write a full post about The Locker Room. I can’t do it. Something about fish in a barrel, I suppose.
I can’t even make it through a full episode of that show anymore.
Mr. Spriggs had a location at 36th and N. May for about a minute and a half. I ate there a few times and it was good, but I’m not gonna drive all the way to Midwest City to eat there while there are delicious mom-n-pop bbq places like Tony Romas and County Line on the north side.
The Shoe Gypsy ad is money, srsly.
I saw the Pasquali-Palumbo guy at an OU game this season. He was wearing the same blue shirt he wears in the ads. And his date (thanks the anonymity that Internet message boards provide, I can say this) was hideous.
Actually the guys in the DMAC commercial are native american midget rappers. Yes, you read that right, Native American. Apparantly, White people also stole their rhyming skills.
what are these “commercials” you speak of? TiVo much? Fast forward, dudes.
I have TiVo, but I actually kind of enjoy commercials sometimes…I’m sure no one could figure that out from my choice of blog topics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGh_3t6XN9I
try that one on for size!
I miss the Credit Jewelery Cowboy.
May he be riding that big flim flam with Frank & Jessie James.