Generally, a sports franchise is only named once in its lifetime. They are like children that way. For instance, when I moved out of the house, my mother did not demand that I leave the name Clark behind. My mother is obviously not Seattle, Washington.
While this has been speculated on for awhile, news broke Tuesday that Clay Bennett may actually consider caving to this Seattleian desire as a bargaining chip in lease buyout negotiations. This does not sit well with me. My beef is that any name that we could come up is going to sound like it is best suited for a minor league franchise. That’s because it takes a long time for a team name to become so ingrained that one does not question how stupid it sounds. Take, for instance, the Supersonics. Who in their right mind would want to play for a team with such a dumb name? Except with forty years of history behind the name, it makes sense. Also, the last time the city had a team to name, it became the Yard Dawgz.
I voiced these concerns to my fellow Lost Ogles and they were very sympathetic.
“We’re getting a team, quit crying,” said Patrick.
Then Tony said nothing because he’s still giving me the silent treatment over my passionate support of the “Yes” vote. “Tell Clark they should name them the ‘Tax Ripoffs’,” he finally relented to Patrick.
Because we are who we are, though, we came up with a list of potential names which come after the jump…along with my (because I am who I am) analysis of the history of name changes.
As I mentioned before, teams are usually named just once. That typically comes when the league expands into a market and the team is fresh. The local media begins competitions that encourage their readers to submit possible names. I’m not saying that would happen here, but it generally leads to a bunch of suggestions that are only peripherally related to the region. Most of them are dumb. In the end your team is called something lame like “Bobcats” or “Devil Rays”.
Usually when a team moves, the name sticks with them. That’s how you get incredibly well fitting franchises names like the Utah Jazz (who were originally in New Orleans) or the Los Angeles Lakers (who were originally in Minneapolis). In Oklahoma’s case, the name Sonics is actually not a stretch. Aside from our state being the land of 10,000 overpriced drive-in restaurants, Tinker Air Force base actually hosted the sonic boom trials in 1964.
To my knowledge, there is only one precedent for what Seattle proposes. When Art Modell moved the Cleveland Browns of the NFL to Baltimore, part of the lease settlement stipulated that the name and colors of the team would stay behind until which time an expansion team could claim them. (This happened in 2000.) When Modell’s players, management, and office furniture arrived in their new locale, they were eventually re-branded as the “Ravens”. The name was hijacked from Baltimore native Edgar Allan Poe’s classic poem. In my opinion, this was actually an upgrade. For us, though, the most likely literary option would be snatching a name from some Rodgers & Hammerstein lyrics. Oklahoma City Termaters, anyone?
Without further ado, here are your LostOgle suggestions (in no particular order):
1. Edmondites
Most people are going to suggest that we name the team based on our state’s heritage as a haven for Native Americans. The problem is that any Native American themed name is bound to cause a political uproar. So, instead, we submit to you naming the team after a tribe that is less likely to get up in arms. Also, it would be an accurate description of the people filling the lower bowl of the Ford Center.
2. Meteorologists
Nothing is more prestigious in this state than a weatherman. Look no further than this website.
3. Mega Churches
Some would say the team should be called the “Buffaloes” because the territory was once overpopulated with the creature. Now, you could say the same thing about ginormous religious buildings.
4. Pink Robots
Certainly better than co-opting Rodgers & Hammerstein.
5. Switzers
We heard this on a local morning radio show and thought it was funny.
6. Kernservatives
If this is the chosen name, we further suggest that the team colors be changed from green and gold to a rainbow.
7. Bible Beaters
My wife insisted on this one.
8. Swift Boaters
A little known fact is that the Cleveland Browns are named after Paul Brown, their original owner. This name would be in honor of the ownership group that is bringing the team to Oklahoma.
Alright, now it’s your turn. Let us know what you would call the team in the comments section. While you’re at it, the uniform colors are also probably up for changing and there will be discussion over how the location should be incorporated in the branding of the team. Should it be Oklahoma City or just Oklahoma? Perhaps you would prefer Bricktown or Big League City in front of the mascot name?
Note: The artwork at the top of this article was created by local journalist Justin Wilmeth as a concept visualization related to the most popular name suggested. In return for using this he wanted us to remind everyone to start saving for season tickets.
OKC Micks Tykes after Mayor Mick and his storming for a a “Yes” vote. Could be shortened to “OKC Tykes” for broadcasting, TV, and sports columns.
The OKC Cornettes. OKC GangTaskForce. OKC Rockies Roads, OKC Pecan Pickers. I could go on. but ehh. OKC Mustangs? OKC Copperheads. I don’t like that one so much. Now that it’s written down.
The Red Dogs. Or maybe they should be our dancers.
Art Modell is the devil. That is all.
-The Oklahoma City “Domes”…because I’m pretty sure the city is still proud of that F!@ing thing on our capital building.
-The Oklahoma city supersoneeks, there is no explanation of this except it made me laugh when I thought of it.
-The Oklahoma City Bridges, I dont know that there is anything more intimidating/terrifying than an Oklahoma bridge.
-The Oklahoma City Quit Playing that F!@#ing Boise state “statue of liberty” play on TV and “inspirational commercials” FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!…..maybe they’ll stop
-The Oklahoma City Global Warming….hehe…hehehe
-The Oklahoma City 40 year old men….
-The Oklahoma City conservative democrats
-The Oklahoma City Chuck Norris’
-The Oklahoma City Big League Citys
K, I’m done. Shouldn’t drink on Tuesday night.
OKC Bricklayers
Is that an homage to Rock and Jock basketball?
okc eminent domainers
okc bombing milkers
okc fatsos
okc great cost o’ living’ers
okc 3.2’s
okc rich white republicans
is it just me, or does that “thunderbird” look more like a penguin?
I like the alternate name for Thunderbirds…The DirtyBirds
OKC HomoTerrorists
Talk all you want, it’s my decision suckers…
Thanks for the tax proceeds!! HA HA HA HA I go all the way to the bank….
“is it just me, or does that ‘thunderbird’ look more like a penguin?”
I think it’s just you, but even so: 1) I would have no problem with a penguin as a mascot; 2) Since a thunderbird is a fictional creature, maybe it was similar to a penguin.
Oklahoma City Bass
The good ole boys from the pro shop across the highway would think the team was named for the fish.
The hip-hop listening players and all the kids who drive around with annoyingly loud subwoofers would appreciate the musical connection.
A cleverly-designed logo could incorporate both elements.
OKC bobbyburdbridgelaner’s
the OKC Regress??
OKC Tornadoes.
OKC Billionaires.
OKC Aubreys.
OKC Eschbachs.
OKC Keiths.
OKC Tinkers.
OKC Stealths.
OKC Laters (rather than Sooners).
Whatever nickname we have needs to be for Oklahoma City not Oklahoma.
How about the OKC Noodlers ? We could have a mascot dressed up like a big Flathead.
Seriously, the name needs to be something that doesn’t embarrass us AND it needs to reflect Oklahoma CITY, not the State of Oklahoma.
Oklahoma CIty Memorials
Oklahoma Panhandlers!
Link the geography and the bums (who will always lose)
I really don’t see why we shouldn’t just drop the last “s”.
The Oklahoma City Sonic, think of the marketing tie ins! Free coney night! Kevin Durant in a new set of Sonic commericals!
Gold.
BBJ apparently wants to call them the Oklahoma City Land Run. It’s like he’s angling for a job writing for this blog.
How about the Oklahoma City Bombers? The name already rolls off the tongue thanks to Tim McVeigh.
By the way, Edgar Allen Poe was a native of Boston. He just lived in Baltimore.
And that logo looks more like an exploding lava lamp to me.
Are we going to parse the meaning of “native” or are we going to come up with awful names for Oklahoma City’s shot at becoming a big league city?
OK Volunteer Firemen
OKC Meth Heads’
OKC Mutton Busters’
OK Fringed Surreys’
OKC Indian Tacos’
OKC Gentners’
OKC Vipers (Gary’s lightning tracker - not snakes)
OKC Doppler 9000 XLs’
OKC Gaylords’
OK Hook Echos’
Gary’s Hot Shots
Clark, I would say parse, but then again:
MikeH says:
OKC Bricklayers
Oh, yeah…these are the Sonics
That Thunderbirds logo is awesome. What else has Napolean Dynamite submitted? I want to see the concept for the Oklahoma City Ligers.
ouredman - you totally cracked me up. and inspired me:
okc ’skeeters
okc baptists
okc registered sex offenders (too catchy?)
okc carnies
okc oilies
okc cattlemen (uh oh - i actually like this one. god help me.)
I like the Oklahoma City Mega Churches, but the name would actually have to be OklahomaCityMegaChurches.tv. And, you don’t actually go to the Ford Center, you go to a satellite arena and watch the game on a screen, or if you are really lazy, just get the podcast.
“or if you are really lazy, just get the podcast.”
Then you’de only get the holy spirit, minus the free sweet tea.
OKC Val What Do You See
OKC Sally Has the Right to Say What She Believes
OKC Brad Lund’s Giant Head
OKC Tulsa Sucks
OKC Let’s Give Okie State Equal Time in All Media, Despite the Fact That People Only Care About OU, but the 5 percent of Okie State Fans need to be Coddled.
OKC JR Ewings.
OKC Barons. The greatest and most appropos name eva.
The Sonhicks
Gerald those where hilarious.
My vote is for Brad Lund’s Giant Head.
The mascot could just be one of those giant inflatable balls that people walk round in like Wayne Coin of the Flaming Lips, except in the shape of Brad Lund’s head.
The Oklahoma City “Folk”
or
The Oklahoma City “Slickers”
OKC Potholes
OKC Tisdales
OKC Scrotum Rippers
OKC Restaurant Chains
OKC Dean Blevin’s Poofy Hair
OKC Illegal Aliens
OKC ValCastors
OKC Parking Meters
OKC Dry RiverBeds
OKC Soccer Moms
I would vote for either one of these:
OKC Tulsa Sucks
OKC Let’s Give Okie State Equal Time in All Media, Despite the Fact That People Only Care About OU, but the 5 percent of Okie State Fans need to be Coddled.
OOOOOOOO!
Forgot one.
the OKC Drunk Suttons
The Oklahoma City Blaze..Colors=Blaze Orange and Hunter Green.
or
The Oklahoma City Thunder..After the visiting team in announced, All the lights go out, the arena is pitch black, flashes of light sparks through the air and with a loud roar of thunder we hear–
“I was caught
In the middle of a railroad track (THUNDER)
And I knew there was no turning back (THUNDER)
My mind raced
And I thought what could I do (THUNDER)
And I knew
There was no help, no help from you (THUNDER)
Sound of the drums
Beatin’ in my heart
The thunder of guns
Tore me apart
You’ve been - THUNDERSTRUCK”
The Oklahoma Nunyadambidnessisanassball
Oklahoma Fighting Cocks
Oklahoma Vigilantes (with a biggerheaded Brian Bates as mascot)
Oklahoma Legal Immigrants (or Los 1804’s)
Oklahoma Yellow Dogs (but true to form, we’d have an elephant for a mascot)
Oklahoma Gaillardians
I can dig the Oklahoma Getners or ValCastors - I can just see half of the arena shouting “WHERE ARE YOU?” and the other half responding “AND WHAT DO YOU SEE?”
Seriously, I like Oklahoma Fury but (think tornado, weather, rage, grit, whatever you think is tough and furious) that makes too much sense so……….
How about:
Oklahoma City Calf Fries
Oklahoma City Footlong Coneys
Oklahoma City Tumbleweeds
The Fighting Fundamentalists
Name: Oklahoma Squadron
Colors: Red, White, & Blue
Arena: The War Room…or….
The Flight Deck….or..
The Control Tower
What about the OKC Ogles? or the Killer Cavanaughs? or the OKC JabbadaHutts (in honor of Bob Barry Senior)? Or what about the OKC 35’s (in honor of the perpetual road work on I-35)? or maybe the Twizterz? or maybe the OKC Copz? or what about the Rose Rocks? or what about the Oklahoma Bumpkins!? Ahh yes, the list could go on forever. We should probably settle with a Native name, that would be the honorable thing to do, good native names include: T-birds, Stampede, Buffalos, Tatonkas, ‘Bills (like Buffalo Bill), Braves, Catfish, Cha-Chings, Scissor Tails, Red Buds, and the OKC PLains… hopnestly though the team needs to be called the Oklahoma ____ not the OKC ____ because putting OKC in front of anything sucks. BTW where will the players live? there ain’t no cool suburbs around OKC like Seattle has.
Oklahoma City SuperDuperSonics
I hope none of you work for a marketing department.
How about…
Oklahoma City Thunder
Oklahoma City Stealth
Oklahoma City Bison
or revive
Oklahoma City Cavalry
Oklahoma City 89ers
All three represent or city well and in a positive manner without making us look like a bunch of goofballs, which some of you already have.
What cool suburbs are in Seattle? A suburb is a suburb. It’s a human pod with a LOT of money. There aren’t any ‘cool’ suburbs here in Houston. Just suburbs… that’s it.
They’ll live in Edmond, Nichols Hills, or Norman, or even Gaillardia (not a suburb, but…). Utilize your brain, don’t just use it.
The Oklahoma City Eagles. Yellow and red. Gold and red. Blue and yellow
Blue and yellow are state flag colors
The Oklahoma City “F5″ is the best name for the team.
Nothing can survive an F5. It’s edgy, relentless and inescapable.
How about the Sooners? Ou’s not really doing anything with it.
i’ve always been a fan of the literal, and have actually used The Basketball Team as my team name a few times. While i love the idea of OKCBC or OKCBT, it just ain’t gonna happen, so why not name the team after a famous okie? Sure, the OKC Rebas or the OKC Woodys are all fine suggestions, but for my money, it’s gotta be the OKC Cavanaughs. Celebrate 4 short decades of broadcast dominance the only way we know how: name something after her.
I applaud the energy and devotion to this critical cause. I’ve been addressing myself over at the Failed Bands of Oklahoma.
Right now we’re keen on a few ideas not listed here:
OKC BC (OKC Basketball Club)
OKC Bulldogs
OKC Peace
OKC Middle Finger
OKC Presidents
OKC We Will Rock You
Keep up the goodwork!
Oklahoma Supercells
Whatever the name ends up being, it needs to be weather themed, and not something wussy like Thunder.
OKC Genters, as in “Get Val on the…”
-or-
OKC Nadz “Go Nadz!, Go Nadz!”
Wow Clark! I’m truly honored. Not only did you guys post my Thunderbirds logo (yeah, I know it sucks but it’s meant to be a modern take on the 45th Infantry patch), but you reminded everyone to start saving up for season tickets! God Bless you and this site! Haha.
Between this and Kelly Ogle name-dropping my name about the Thunder/Buffalo concept, I’m quickly tearing through my 15 minutes of fame. Shame this is what it’s getting wasted on, though.
I like the Oklahoma Meat. We’d have PETA protests. I’m thinking Alicia Silverstone would show up for that.
Name: The OKC Force
Colors: Silver, Dark Blue and White
i think the team should be named the BAETAS because the baeta fish never say quit and will fight for every last inch even if they lose. see the baeta fish has been looked upon as a bad fish because they fight but they really will not ever give up.
the colors: red, and black
the floating feet.
(if you know anything about oklahoma, and if you know about oklahoma you know about lake thunder bird, and if you know about lake thunderbird then you know about floating feet in lake thunderbird)
lol
lake thunderbird is grose!!!!!
How about OKC and the O Sunshine Band.
Maybe Oklahoma Naderchasers (as in tornader).
Oklahoma Gamblers.
Oklahoma Casinos.
OKC Gas producers.
What about the OKC Cagers? It would tie into the current popularity of the UFC and the history of b-ball, where players were known as cagers.
How about calling it Clay’s a sack of S#*#
the Okalhoma city Knights………
Colors: Orange silver and black
I like
OKC Twisters (have a tornado siren going off when they enter the arena)
or
OKC Posse
OKC Roughnecks
Hey how about this…the Oklahoma City Supercells. It’s the best!
Oklahoma City Oilers-Red, White, Gold
Oklahoma City Cyclones- Gray, White, Blue
Oklahoma City Centennials- Red, White, Blue
Oklahoma City Tribe- Red, White, Gold
Oklahoma Alligator Gars
Oklahoma City Snow that you can’t make into a Snowman
Oklahoma Nichols Hills Cops who pull you over for going 27 in a 25, unless your dad is a rich doctor
Okahoma Oak Trees
Oklahoma City Trans Fat
Oklahoma 3.2 beers
Oklahoma Partially Nude Strippers
Oklahoma City Boobchurches (Look at the church on N.36th and Broadway Extension)
Oklahoma City Speedy Claxtons
how about The OKC Razors… they can use the Razor Gator theme when the team comes out
Or the OKC Outlaws… that one sounds kinda cool
Or the OKC Empty areanas… seriously give it about 5 years after the new wares off and nobody will be there
The Oklahoma WillRogerses
in honor of our favorite son who died 8 decades ago.
I have a pretty good one that I have been thinking about for awhile:
OKC Meth Addicts!
Think about it! With all the meth labs and such we have around here, its perfect!
I’ve even thought of a good mascot name: “Tweaker”
How about the Lemmings
the Standardized Test Flunkers
or just the Fucksticks
Should be the OKC Wide Glides. Fits in nicely with OKC being named
“one of the fattest cities in America” and with Mayor Mick’s Million
pound challenge. Now if we could only get some of those tax
dollars used to fix the Ford Center’s biggest problem, those
tight-ass seats (not in their current plan). Then maybe we could
fit some of those fans in there.