Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Name Oklahoma’s NBA Franchise

Generally, a sports franchise is only named once in its lifetime. They are like children that way. For instance, when I moved out of the house, my mother did not demand that I leave the name Clark behind. My mother is obviously not Seattle, Washington.

While this has been speculated on for awhile, news broke Tuesday that Clay Bennett may actually consider caving to this Seattleian desire as a bargaining chip in lease buyout negotiations. This does not sit well with me. My beef is that any name that we could come up is going to sound like it is best suited for a minor league franchise. That’s because it takes a long time for a team name to become so ingrained that one does not question how stupid it sounds. Take, for instance, the Supersonics. Who in their right mind would want to play for a team with such a dumb name? Except with forty years of history behind the name, it makes sense.  Also, the last time the city had a team to name, it became the Yard Dawgz.

I voiced these concerns to my fellow Lost Ogles and they were very sympathetic.

“We’re getting a team, quit crying,” said Patrick.

Then Tony said nothing because he’s still giving me the silent treatment over my passionate support of the “Yes” vote. “Tell Clark they should name them the ‘Tax Ripoffs’,” he finally relented to Patrick.

Because we are who we are, though, we came up with a list of potential names which come after the jump…along with my (because I am who I am) analysis of the history of name changes.

As I mentioned before, teams are usually named just once. That typically comes when the league expands into a market and the team is fresh. The local media begins competitions that encourage their readers to submit possible names. I’m not saying that would happen here, but it generally leads to a bunch of suggestions that are only peripherally related to the region. Most of them are dumb. In the end your team is called something lame like “Bobcats” or “Devil Rays”.

Usually when a team moves, the name sticks with them. That’s how you get incredibly well fitting franchises names like the Utah Jazz (who were originally in New Orleans) or the Los Angeles Lakers (who were originally in Minneapolis). In Oklahoma’s case, the name Sonics is actually not a stretch. Aside from our state being the land of 10,000 overpriced drive-in restaurants, Tinker Air Force base actually hosted the sonic boom trials in 1964.

To my knowledge, there is only one precedent for what Seattle proposes. When Art Modell moved the Cleveland Browns of the NFL to Baltimore, part of the lease settlement stipulated that the name and colors of the team would stay behind until which time an expansion team could claim them. (This happened in 2000.) When Modell’s players, management, and office furniture arrived in their new locale, they were eventually re-branded as the “Ravens”. The name was hijacked from Baltimore native Edgar Allan Poe’s classic poem. In my opinion, this was actually an upgrade. For us, though, the most likely literary option would be snatching a name from some Rodgers & Hammerstein lyrics. Oklahoma City Termaters, anyone?

Without further ado, here are your LostOgle suggestions (in no particular order):

1. Edmondites

Most people are going to suggest that we name the team based on our state’s heritage as a haven for Native Americans. The problem is that any Native American themed name is bound to cause a political uproar. So, instead, we submit to you naming the team after a tribe that is less likely to get up in arms. Also, it would be an accurate description of the people filling the lower bowl of the Ford Center.

2. Meteorologists

Nothing is more prestigious in this state than a weatherman. Look no further than this website.

3. Mega Churches

Some would say the team should be called the “Buffaloes” because the territory was once overpopulated with the creature. Now, you could say the same thing about ginormous religious buildings.

4. Pink Robots

Certainly better than co-opting Rodgers & Hammerstein.

5. Switzers

We heard this on a local morning radio show and thought it was funny.

6. Kernservatives

If this is the chosen name, we further suggest that the team colors be changed from green and gold to a rainbow.

7. Bible Beaters

My wife insisted on this one.

8. Swift Boaters

A little known fact is that the Cleveland Browns are named after Paul Brown, their original owner. This name would be in honor of the ownership group that is bringing the team to Oklahoma.

Alright, now it’s your turn. Let us know what you would call the team in the comments section. While you’re at it, the uniform colors are also probably up for changing and there will be discussion over how the location should be incorporated in the branding of the team. Should it be Oklahoma City or just Oklahoma? Perhaps you would prefer Bricktown or Big League City in front of the mascot name?

Note: The artwork at the top of this article was created by local journalist Justin Wilmeth as a concept visualization related to the most popular name suggested. In return for using this he wanted us to remind everyone to start saving for season tickets.

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Comments

  1. i’ve always been a fan of the literal, and have actually used The Basketball Team as my team name a few times. While i love the idea of OKCBC or OKCBT, it just ain’t gonna happen, so why not name the team after a famous okie? Sure, the OKC Rebas or the OKC Woodys are all fine suggestions, but for my money, it’s gotta be the OKC Cavanaughs. Celebrate 4 short decades of broadcast dominance the only way we know how: name something after her.

  2. I applaud the energy and devotion to this critical cause. I’ve been addressing myself over at the Failed Bands of Oklahoma.

    Right now we’re keen on a few ideas not listed here:

    OKC BC (OKC Basketball Club)
    OKC Bulldogs
    OKC Peace
    OKC Middle Finger
    OKC Presidents
    OKC We Will Rock You

    Keep up the goodwork!

  3. Oklahoma Supercells

    Whatever the name ends up being, it needs to be weather themed, and not something wussy like Thunder.

  4. Wow Clark! I’m truly honored. Not only did you guys post my Thunderbirds logo (yeah, I know it sucks but it’s meant to be a modern take on the 45th Infantry patch), but you reminded everyone to start saving up for season tickets! God Bless you and this site! Haha.

    Between this and Kelly Ogle name-dropping my name about the Thunder/Buffalo concept, I’m quickly tearing through my 15 minutes of fame. Shame this is what it’s getting wasted on, though.

  5. I like the Oklahoma Meat. We’d have PETA protests. I’m thinking Alicia Silverstone would show up for that.

  6. i think the team should be named the BAETAS because the baeta fish never say quit and will fight for every last inch even if they lose. see the baeta fish has been looked upon as a bad fish because they fight but they really will not ever give up.

    the colors: red, and black

  7. the floating feet.

    (if you know anything about oklahoma, and if you know about oklahoma you know about lake thunder bird, and if you know about lake thunderbird then you know about floating feet in lake thunderbird)

    lol
    lake thunderbird is grose!!!!!

  8. How about OKC and the O Sunshine Band.
    Maybe Oklahoma Naderchasers (as in tornader).
    Oklahoma Gamblers.
    Oklahoma Casinos.
    OKC Gas producers.

  9. What about the OKC Cagers? It would tie into the current popularity of the UFC and the history of b-ball, where players were known as cagers.

  10. I like
    OKC Twisters (have a tornado siren going off when they enter the arena)
    or
    OKC Posse
    OKC Roughnecks

  11. Oklahoma City Oilers-Red, White, Gold
    Oklahoma City Cyclones- Gray, White, Blue
    Oklahoma City Centennials- Red, White, Blue
    Oklahoma City Tribe- Red, White, Gold

  12. Oklahoma Alligator Gars

    Oklahoma City Snow that you can’t make into a Snowman

    Oklahoma Nichols Hills Cops who pull you over for going 27 in a 25, unless your dad is a rich doctor

    Okahoma Oak Trees

    Oklahoma City Trans Fat

    Oklahoma 3.2 beers

    Oklahoma Partially Nude Strippers

    Oklahoma City Boobchurches (Look at the church on N.36th and Broadway Extension)

    Oklahoma City Speedy Claxtons

  13. how about The OKC Razors… they can use the Razor Gator theme when the team comes out

    Or the OKC Outlaws… that one sounds kinda cool

    Or the OKC Empty areanas… seriously give it about 5 years after the new wares off and nobody will be there

  14. I have a pretty good one that I have been thinking about for awhile:

    OKC Meth Addicts!

    Think about it! With all the meth labs and such we have around here, its perfect!

    I’ve even thought of a good mascot name: “Tweaker”

  15. Should be the OKC Wide Glides. Fits in nicely with OKC being named
    “one of the fattest cities in America” and with Mayor Mick’s Million
    pound challenge. Now if we could only get some of those tax
    dollars used to fix the Ford Center’s biggest problem, those
    tight-ass seats (not in their current plan). Then maybe we could
    fit some of those fans in there.

  16. This is exactly why OKC should get a EXPANSION franchise instead of moving the Sonics out of Seattle. Why take Seattle’s oldest professional franchise and move them to (cue the banjos) Oklahoma City. What happens when your city is sick of the franchise after 5 loosing seasons and the novelty wears off? I can’t see how the morons in the NBA Executive offices can see this as a viable move. It’s sad how corrupt David Stern and the NBA Execs are. If they want NBA Basketball so bad in OKC then give them an EXPANSION Franchise, not one that has been engrained in the hearts and minds of the Pacific Northwest.

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