A few weeks ago, my perverted roommate and I ventured to Cock-O-The-Walk for some weeknight fun. While there, we discovered these three things:
- There is an adult coed kickball league in Oklahoma City. Yes, coed kickball.
- The people who play in this adult coed kickball league go to the Cock-O-The-Walk after their games and take up a lot space
- The “Cock” has recently painted it’s mens’ bathroom
The reason I mention these astonishing discoveries is because our conversation revolved around them for most of the night. First, we spent about 20-minutes naming all of our friends who could play on our own kickball team. Then we talked about jobs that would be worse than having to paint the filthy, disgusting Cock-O-The-Walk bathroom. Because this topic is more interesting than us thinking about which three girls we could get to join our team, I decided to share with you our newest power poll: “The 10 Worst Jobs in the OKC Metro.”
Check them out after the jumpity jump.
10. Wayne Coyne’s Therapist:
And you thought you had issues. Imagine trying to interpret some of Wayne Coyne’s dreams about alien pandas attacking the Paseo with confetti laser bombs while decked in Santa Claus outfits. Thankfully, the therapist gets to bill by the hour.
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9. Painter of the “Cock of the Walk” Bathroom:
This has to make the list, right? Hell, this may just be one of the most disgusting jobs ever. To do it, you probably have to wear one of those white radiocative waste suits while painting, and then take a bath in hand sanitzer solution when you finish.
(Yeah: That’s former “Hot Girl a Day in the Month of May” girl Whitney at the “Cock.” Double yeah: that sentence reads a lot worse than it actually is.)
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8. Robinson Ave Street Sweeper:
Imagine the risks associated with this job. These dudes should get complimentery hepatitis and HIV testing each month as an employee benefit. They should also got free therapy sessions.
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7. The Richardson Homes Girl’s Speech Pathologist:
You got to feel sorry for this person. I bet they have really good session with the little girl, but then her parents secretly teach her how to mumble and stutter so that she can continue her reign as their “cute” little spokesperson. Either that or they get her drunk.
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6. Van Shea Iven’s Gynecologist:
Last month, we included Van Shea Iven in our “Hot Girl a Day in the Month of May” countdown. Oops. There are some rumors being floated out their now that Van Shea is actually a man. That can’t be true! If so, I really feel sorry for his Gynecologist.
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5. Jim Traber’s Nurse:
I’m not too knowledgeable in the field of medicine, but apparently Jim Traber has (or had) to walk around with some weird bag attached to his stomach. That’s disgusting. Having to change it? Even more disgusting. Being his nurse? Absolute torture.
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4. Jack and Ron’s Humor Coach:
There are some pretty strong rumors out there that this job is currently held by Mr. Monday. If that’s the case, maybe it explains some things.
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3. Clark Matthews’ Barber:
Seriously, the head chef at Rok Bar has more stuff to work with than Clark Matthews barber does.
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2. Randy Terrill’s Food Taster:
Take a peak at the people who are cooking most of the food at our cities restaurants and you may notice they have a striking resemblance to the hard working people that Randy want’s to keep out of Oklahoma. Who knows what Randy–and his staff of food tasters–have munched down over the past 6 months.
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1. Mathis Brothers’ Veterinarian
Imagine what the guy must feel like when he gets the 3:00am phone call regarding a mysterious injury to their pet gerbil “Mills.”
#3–Weak
What about the PR guy for that tool who wants to build a giant oil derrick in downtown OkC… because the “buzz” for it would be “hey, by the way, it’s taller than the Eiffel Tower.”
#1 - I ran that rumor by my grandmother when I was little and had no idea what it meant (all the kids in my 4th grade class were talking about it). Her response? “Oh, they’ve been saying that for a long time.” She loves that place. Me? I prefer staying out of the way of sniper fire.
The person who has to change the sheets at the Habanna Inn has the worst job in OKC.
This time you’ve done it, TLO. Say what you want about the fad of adult dodgeball in 2004, but kickball is pretty damn fun … especially with a few beers. There are 3-4 leagues in Dallas, with more opening in Fort Worth, Plano, etc.
Maybe it’s awesomeness hasn’t reached OKC yet? I dunno.
The most heart-breaking detail of this story to me is that you can no longer read the great graffiti at the Cock-O-The-Walk…This place had the best reading in OKC.
Maybe this could be a new LO poll…Who now has the best men’s room graffiti in the metro?
Anything associated with Tom Love or Love’s Country Stores. Maybe not the worst, but possibly the most demeaning.
If you’re going to include Van Shea’s OBGYN, what about Kealey McIntire’s Urologist?
#11 1-800-2SellHomes, Paulette’s, plastic surgeon.
I would say that kickball awesomeness HAS reached Oklahoma City - there are several leagues in OKC. They started last year with just one night per week and have had to jump to two nights per week to accomodate all the teams wanting to play….in under a year. So it’s growing. And you guys should get on it…
Also - Cock HAS to periodically paint the bathroom. They did it in the women’s a few months back when someone wrote some very nasty comments about a dear friend of the owner’s who had recently passed away. I think that’s more important than our reading enjoyment…but that’s just my opinion.
And yes, those damn RubberBusters take up a lot of space at the bar.
As a proud alum, I hate seeing Randy Terrill in that OU tie, which was probably made out of the US by foreigners who had the decency to stay in their own country.
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It’s a smorgasbord of delicious Oklahoma joy….it’s like…like…someone shooting my my eyes with little sugar coated bullets made of laffy taffy ensconced glee and has the pungent aroma of jolly ranchers and shame.
I wonder how terrible of a job it is to be the cuisine consultant for Braum’s. Do you spend your whole day figuring out a way to get just a little bit MORE laxative into the beef patties, or with coming up with delicious low-cal/low-carb fare like their new chili-cheese frankfurter… it comes on a hamburger bun, and it will be with you the rest of your days.
I played in one of the kickball leagues last year.
There were a few teams that had fun and had equal parts relatively athletic people and completely unathletic people. Then there were the teams that took it way too seriously, loaded their team with 250-pound dudes who can kick the ball a mile and argued with the refs when they were ahead by 10 runs.
Take my advice, and start a softball team instead.
I feel sorry for the guy that actually has to do sports research for Dean to present on the Channel 9 sportscasts.
I heard Dean say this evening on the Sports Animal that he hadn’t heard the speculation that the Sonics were going to trade up with Miami to get the number two pick. Dean said that Monday is his day off this week and that he was taking his son to a golf store to buy some gear.
I will wager that Monday was at least the third day in a row that he had off and we need to keep track of all the excuses he uses to cover the fact that he just doesn’t do a whole lot of work.
I feel like I just ranted…excuse me.
As long as we’re coming up with ideas, how would you like to be the copy writer for Bobbi Burbridge Lane?
Or the poor soul that does Linda Cavanaugh’s make-up?
More spackle for Linda! Stat!
I hope someone gives Randy Terrill some exlax brownies.
Intern for storm chasers such as Chris Lee, etc. You know those cocky sons of bitches are demanding as hell and never give a complement to work well deserving.
Com’on dudes, its gotta be “WAVA” and her dentist / hair motifist. Man that’s a piece of work!
IMO I think it would be the person that has to clean the floors in the booths at Eastern Avenue Video.
#7 - Come on! You can make fun of grownups all you want, but taking a shot at a young girl is pretty classless. I thought The Lost Ogle was better than that, but I stand corrected.
How can leaving anyone that has to work with/assist Gary England during bad weather off the list…he treats them poorly, and is just a bumbling goober. Gotta be a better job for his underlings somewhere in OKC!
what about the poor souls who have to work on Wimgo. imagine having to believe in a green cube in order to get paid
How about the tv production crew that has to work on those insufferable automax marathon infomercials? Does anyone seriously watch that stuff?
“Come on, Mabel. Let’ pop us some Orville Redenbacher’s and watch this here car show!!”
Soonerken, the deals are always better at automax *bling*. Dont you forget it.
Kickball Leagues - #102 on the list of What White People Like
http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/06/02/102-childrens-games-as-adults/
Spot on about Van Shea Iven. Could you find a more feminine sports caster? I think not.
So — How many girls do you need now to play on your kickball team? I am in, if still needed…….
Yukonsooner! I think your disappointment at thelostogle.com for its comments #7 the Richardson girl are misdirected. The “classlessness” comes from her parents who put her out there for the world to see/hear.
Why would they do that. I doubt her feeling would be hurt as she probably isn’t reading this and if her parents are, shame on them. It is sad that she isn’t getting any better as she ages. Some how, Gibson Diffee could get away with it. She can’t and her parents should pull her from the ad. Anyway lighten up.
Painter of the Conservatory bathroom is probably even worse.