Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

The Travels of Cardboard Jim: The Oklahoma City Pride Festival

In this installment of the Travels of Cardboard Jim, we decided to take Oklahoma’s favorite cardboard cut-out to the one place where we were least likely to see his human imitator: The Oklahoma City Gay Pride Festival.

So far, this has been the oddest out of Jim’s three documented adventures. When he crashed my brother’s graduation party, people loved him. At the Norman Music Festival, people begged to have their picture taken with him. But at the Pride Festival, nobody really knew who Jim Traber was. This made things difficult, because when we told people he was a right wing sports radio host, they really didn’t want to get their picture with him. Eventually, we just lied and said he was one of only a few openly gay former Major League Baseball Players and that he now hosts a late night TV show on FOX called the Locker Room. That’s half true, right?

Anyway, before a very stern, curious lady with short hair kind of ran us out of the festival, we were able to get a few good pictures of Cardboard Jim with all his fans, including Corporation Commissioner Jim Roth (pictured above), Oklahoma’s highest ranked openly gay official. Check them out after the jump.

When Cardboard Jim arrived at the festival, he thought it was a festival for proud people with large egos. He felt at home.

Carboard Jim especially loved this float. It reminded him of Curtis Fitzpatrick’s living room.

This was Cardboard Jim’s favorite sign. War is also his favorite card game.

Cardboard Jim then went to one of his favorite booths and helped pass out literature. He was looking for Atheist Laettner.

This man was at the the Buddhists booth. He’s giving his opinion on The Sports Animal moving to 98.1FM.

Cardboard Jim felt uncomfortable at this booth. Although they did let him have a sucker from the green-yellow bucket.

After visiting several booths, Cardboard Jim decided to mingle with some fans.

These two fans were excited to get their picture taken with Cardboard Jim. They were excited about a lot of things.

Cardboard Jim was intrigued with this Yardbird’s face painting.

Cardboard Jim told these people how much he hates Fenway Park. He then told them how to break in a baseball glove.


Cardboard Jim asked this nice lady to dance. She declined because she wasn’t wearing tall enough shoes.

These guys rode bikes. Cardboard Jim use to ride bikes with Paul White in Baltimore.

Carboard Jim tried to buy this flag for $50. His offer was declined.

Cardboard Jim swore up and down that this guy looked like a producer from The Sports Animal. We were not sure if he was serious.

Anyway, because Cardboard Jim’s visit was cut-short, that’s all we have for this ghey edition of The Travels of Cardboard Jim Traber. Maybe next year we’ll just go to the Pride parade instead. Maybe we’ll see Clark Matthews there, too.


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Comments

  1. actual quote- Traber, “I don’t like those people & don’t want to be @ them.”
    Bro, got a hunch it’s mutual. Not sure about cardboard jim though. Is that a colostomy bag under the leather jacket or are you getting worked up about amending the constitution.

  2. how is Cardboard Jim’s goat doing? and where is Cardboard Jim’s bag around his stomach like the real Jim?

  3. I was more interested in Jim’s goat.

    I’m surprised he didn’t come by my counter rally. Gay Loathsomeness Festival.

  4. Jim Roth is a good guy. Trabore would actually vote for a gay guy than he would a woman: Dana Murphy. Has to put Trabore in a conundrum.

  5. At least cardboard Jim is not like his real life counterpart–an overweight, loudmouth bigot who had a brief, less than illustrious career in major league baseball. We always knew he was full of crap; now he’s wearing the proof right on his belly.

  6. Well, you did it. You made it on Fark. I guess there are congratulations in order since it didn’t involve the “dumb ass” tag.
    Nicely done, dorks. (their phrase, not mine.)

  7. The only memorable thing I have about Jim Traber is that years ago, the only Rochester Red Wings game I ever went (Baltimores farm team that he was playing on at the time), had him listed in the program as “Him Traber”

  8. Too bad… big Jim might have the Daddy thing going on if he wasn’t such a douchebag… I’d be a good boy for him.
    Oh well, on to the next bear…

  9. Gee, I wonder if any of the attendees paid extra to have “special” and/or “intimate” pictures taken with Cardboard Jim. Serves him right, the big fat tub of shit. If more right wingers got the buttsex they needed, the world would be a much happier place without their bitching.

  10. Don’t let the dumber Farkers get you down; most of us think this is pretty cool, and the actual Fark tag was ‘Amusing’. I think it’s pretty damn funny myself. Jim looks like he’d be out of place in his own bathroom.

    Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with being a dork.

    /I hope

  11. Oy, just bring Cardboard Jim out to the Los Angeles Pride festival next year (alas, it was the first weekend of June, so it has already passed for this year), and I guarantee you will not be thrown out. Think 500,000 plus folks all partying and having a great time. Dykes on Bikes might even let him go for a ride with them in the parade. If not, I’m sure one of the plethora of fabu-floats like the S&M demo float will do nicely. There’s some Bear for Jim, I’m positive. Shoot, L.A. is a great place for CJ in general. Any given weekday, you could take him down Hollywood Boulevard heading west from Vine and get his picture taken with one of the fantastical 7-foot tall fantasy-trannies in full costume and makeup. I’m sure he’d fit ri-ii-iight in. One way or another.

  12. […] Cardboard Jim’s attendance at the OKC Pride Festival last weekend got me thinking. Who would it take for me, a practicing heterosexual female, to switch allegiances and go gay?  Since our readers seem to enjoy hot girl-on-girl action, and I aim to please, I thought this would be a good topic to tackle for my long awaited first post. Read it after the jump. […]

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