Picking the worst place to listen to live music in Oklahoma City is like picking your favorite pothole on NW 23rd…there are plenty to choose from.
Anyway, since we are nice and it is a Friday, we narrowed all the terrible venues down to five great nominees.* Vote after the jump.
*To keep things entertaining and possibly competitive, we left off Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar and Grill
Belle Isle Brewery
Remember in Spinal Tap where they turn the volume up to 11? The Belle Isle Brewery is kind of like that, only they blow it up to 38. Seriously, the sound system there is so terrible even good local bands (like The Ugly Suit who is playing there tomorrow night) sound bad there.
Cheeseburger in Paradise
Any place that hires the Dave Morris Duo to churn out Tom Petty cover songs has to make the list, right?
The Conservatory
The Conservatory is actually a good place to see local bands (like the show tomorrow night featuring Anchors for Arsenal. If you see me there, buy me a Newcastle), but the bathrooms there are so disgusting that even the syphilis virus stays away from them. Seriously, you’d be better off pulling a Jerry Giordano then using one of their bathrooms.
Crossroads Mall
Every now and then, Crossroads Mall will have a concert in their atrium. Use your imagination and think of how spectacularly bad this would be. Then imagine telling your friends you are going to Crossroads to watch a band? If you say that, I think you can legally get punched in the face.
Ford Center
If you are at a Ford Center concert, it probably means that you are throwing away $100 to watch a washed-up baby boomer band play old hits. Of course that is better than going to a Blazers game.
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I would think it would go without saying that a bathroom in a shady music venue on Western Ave. would have a bathroom that contains mostly unflushed piss, probably a pile of crap and promotional bumper stickers on urinals. Sadly, you guys sank to the low of judging a venue on the place to take a dump. First of all, that’s why God made grass, which there is plenty of outside in back of that place, if you feel a restroom just isn’t where shit goes. Secondly, to vote a music venue “Worst of OKC” based strictly on that is a travesty. You guys have a great sense of humor, but damn, whose golden thrones have you been sitting on that gives you the right to judge on that? Stop being dicks. Please be more realistic, or at least admit that your rating criteria is on “The Onion” level of absurdity.
My anonymous friend above - must not a woman. If they were they would realize the scariness of visiting a skanky restroom during a concert. It’s hard to sit above the bug crawling stool - especially when tipsy.
That being the case I voted the Ford Center - unless you are on the floor next to the stage….you can’t hear shite.
Something tells me Anonymous voted for The Conservatory.
Hey, you were just compared to The Onion. I think that’s a compliment, some days.
My worst musical experience was at Bricktown Brewery. The sound system sucked so badly I left with a sick headache. Moved three times inside the place to try to find exactly WHERE the sound engineer was trying to focus. Could not find it. I don’t like paying for a concert and having to leave because the sound engineer is a total incompetent.
When I go see a band play at the Conservatory, we actually leave to go use the restroom. My female friends and I have a deal! Men wonder why women go to the bathroom together - in this case, it’s a field trip to find a safe haven where you can pee without getting an STD. Not that there are many safe options around there anyway . . . we’ve actually gone to the McDonalds at Britton and Broadway Extension, which is not exactly convenient!
WormyDog?
The Ford Centers acoustics are terrible and the seats are about as comfortable as a medieval torture device. I had to actually leave a show early once because the seat was causing my date so much pain in her back that she was about to cry. Speaking of nasty places, does anyone remember how dirty the Samurai was? As an AE who had the Samurai as an account back in the day, I had the unfortunate opportunity to routinely go back into the kitchen there. As nasty as the bathrooms were the kitchen wasn’t much better. Ichiro had some kind of rotting veggie compost stock pot contraption with a burner under it back in the corner. And where did he find all of these crappy bands that played there each night? I am proud to say that I only saw one band there when the Lips played an impromptu show for the release of the Yoshimi album.
The conservatory restroom is sh!t. Anonymous, hire someone to clean the thing. Put a coat of paint on the walls and mop the floors. As a guy I could care less, but women for sure have a gripe. Lets see paint, a mop, and a new lid for the ladies room crapper…$50. If you want to sell beer/drinks, have a clean restroom. Trust me, for women it ranks very high on the list. And after the first visit to the restroom my lady quits buying the drinks and is ready to leave before the next urge.
You’re missing the point. Poorly maintained restrooms DO NOT define a music venue, and if that’s what you base it on, you immediately lose any credibility on this subject. And as I said, if you’re going to a place like The Conservatory, then that’s your bad for not pissing before you left the house OR doing it outside. I do that every time, no problems, and the law about “exposure” or whatever the hell it is for relieving yourself in public is stupid anyway. Ever seen CBGB’s bathroom before it closed? And that place was legendary. I voted for Crossroads, by the way. Sure, clean bathrooms, yeah yeah yeah, but seriously. How ghetto do you have to be to listen to music there? Don’t they charge food stamps as admission for a show? And any ladies responding to this harshly, that’s great that you have a sense of decency about you enough to want a clean place to potty, but have some common sense at the same time when judging places to listen to live music.
I actually sort of like the Ford Center, mainly because I could wear a sweater in there and be comfortable. I will agree though that if I am at the Ford Center there’s a good chance I’m about $200 poorer (i.e. the COldplay concert in November).
The conservatory is also a bad place to hear music because it’s Fing hot as hell in that place.
You’re not doing the joint any favors here, Anonymous. I voted for The Conservatory based solely upon your rants and weak attempt to promote violating the law while dismissing a serious public health issue…and, of course, the disgusting bathrooms at your fave venue. Perhaps you should really listen to what Steve’s saying. When Vincent and I go to a show, and I don’t care how great the music is, if it’s filthy (i.e.The Conservatory), we bail!
Just sayin’…
Hey Mia: Anonymous squats to pee, so it’s a sensitive subject for him.
Real mature Dean. Like anything you contribute has substance.
Fellas! Sexy Ladies! Let’s all just agree on this: we’re all lame for having the time and the inclination to slapfight about this. Especially since the argument begins and ends at Bora Bora….
The Dugout is unequivocally the worst live music venue in OKC.
The bathroom situation has EVERYTHING to do with the quality of the music venue. If I can’t drink beer because I might have to pee later, then the venue makes no money and goes out of business. If I can’t stay to LISTEN TO THE MUSIC because I have to pee, then it’s not a good venue.
Going to the Conservatory is a sacrifice I only make for the best of bands.
I got arrested at the ford center during the red hot chili peppers concert a few years back. And that was after they pepper sprayed my ass. That never happened to me at crossroads mall.
Laws are exactly what’s holding back The Conservatory from doing anything to the bathroom’s, remodel-wise. If they do so much as paint the wall, they have to demolish the bathrooms and align to handicap-accessible laws (As it stands now, the building is grandfathered in).
And you know, The Conservatory makes plenty of money from its patrons buying up those $1 Lost Lakes to make that remodel happen.
An indie / punk / hardcore club with dirty bathrooms? **gasp**
Also, whoever said Bora Bora is correct.
As is anyone who brings up Big Papa’s Pour House.
This board is apparently full of some youngsters. Remember just a few years ago when The Conservatory was Rattlebones and no one - ZERO - would go there to watch a show? What happened? Now it’s the place to be cool. Weird.
FWIW, how did The Alley Club off of Shields not get nominated. Travel south of I-40 once in a while.
Is there something south of I-40? I was under the impression that I would drive into an abyss if I turned the wrong way on Reno.
i have another nominee: charlie rayl’s music academy in norman. how many dreamtheater wannabes have been cycled through that place anyway?
No abyss, Clark. Just hookers.
Oh, and a hooker named Abyss.
What! There aren’t any hookers on the northside? The night I visited Baker Street, they were all over the place.
I’m pretty sure those weren’t hookers.. Baker street is full of COUGARS. You know, the ones who dont necessarily walk the street but still expect money throughout the evening.
As for my nomination i have to include anything owned by Brewer Entertainment in Bricktown.
I may be biased but in my experiences with them but they refuse to pay anyone that has any talent and therefore have a bunch of barely legal pre-teens managing their establishments. Oh and don’t forget the washed out junkies at the sound and lighting consoles which is pretty much a pre-requisite anywhere you go in Oklahoma City.
Crossroads Mall: Come see a crappy band and get raped.
I would vote for the Bricktown Ballroom. Every time I’ve been there, the sound has been awful.
Ahhh…nice.
2 things:
1. Syphilis is a bacteria, not a virus.
2. Berry would be so ashamed to see us flaming Anonymous on this quasi-message board.
F*ck Berry and anonymous.
I sort of think that they put new seats in the women’s bathroom at the Conservatory. The last time I was there (three weeks ago, maybe?) it seemed much cleaner. The toilet paper was still attached to the wall with a wire, though, and the door didn’t latch. I do remember there being paper towels, which may have been the first time I’ve ever seen them in that bathroom.
The bathroom next door at Size is marginally cleaner than the bathroom at the Conservatory.
Ryan– they took out that platform in between the stage area and the bar area– does that not void the grandfather clause and require them to adhere to ADA requirements? Or do you think they got rid of the platform thing to conform to ADA?
What about VZD’s? I love that place, I really, really do. It is a very cool bar, and their club sandwhich rocks. But dear god, the sound is always terrible, probably because it is the same shape as an 18-wheel truck trailer.
Sascha - The platform removal may have been done for ADA purposes, but (as far as I know) that doesn’t affect ADA requirements for the bathrooms.
I saw Coldplay in Dallas a few years back at used to be called the Starplex and is now some corporate name. Great show, great sound. I then saw them in the Ford Center a few months later and it sounded terrible. Absolutely terrible concert venue! We need more shows at Owen Field. Let’s work on this President Boren. Think of the extra revenue aside from the monster athletic program.
This is Jonathan from the uglysuit. i must say that we actually quite enjoy the sound system at Belle Isle when we play there. And on top of that, I would take into consideration that when we play The Belle [as we like to call it], we get free beer all night long. My vote goes to Cheeseburger Margaritadise or whatever.