I originally got the idea for this post about a month or so ago, but the Red Dirt Kings were able to read my mind and kind of stole it from me. At first this made me mad, but then Clark Matthews reminded me about the most recent group of people who were able to read my mind: the Oklahoma City Honeybees.
You see, the Honeybees were able to read from my superior brain that I wanted to wear a Zorro mask and have a big orgy with all of them. Look at what that got them. Absolutely nothing. The Hornets moved back to New Orleans and now all the Oklahoma City based Honeybees are former NBA dance team members…at least for a little while.
Anyway, I have no clue if this tale has a moral, and if it does, what it is, but I do know this: always wear a Zorro mask. It makes it extremely difficult for the people reading your mind to identify you.
Check out the Top 10 Dance Team Names are after the jump…
10. Diamond Dolls
This would be a nice tribute to the old Oklahoma City 89er’s “Diamond Dolls” and “Diamond Girls”, who were first group of young, hot Oklahoma City chicks to wear skimpy outfits and throw t-shirts to drunk guys and young children.
9. Thunder Thighs
This name is a bit too easy. But…it still deserves to rank in the Top 10.
Imagine how cool it would be if they threw the Raindrops onto the heads of unsuspecting fans.
Without a doubt, Honeybee Talor was the best and hottest Honeybee. Not only would naming the team after her be a fitting tribute, but maybe she’ll even come back as a dancer. Then she would be Talors Talor.
This was Sarah’s number one pick, because this is what all the football players called her in high school. Oddly enough, it’s what the football players called Clark Matthews, too.
5. Pink Robots
This was my choice for actual nickname of the franchise. The “Pink Robots” refers to The Flaming Lips masterpiece “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots.” Since it apparently didn’t catch on, maybe it will be a good name for the dance team instead.
The Hornets had the Honeybee’s, so why can’t we have the Thunderbees? The only issue appears to be that it’s the name of a kids hockey team.
3. Hooker Echoes
Noticed how I took the high road an used a picture of a hook echo and not a hooker? That’s because I’m classy. This could actually be a great name for the team. Hook Echos are a dangerous part of Oklahoma City life, and a lot of women rank NBA dance team members only a notch or two above hookers. Plus, The Video Vigilante and Gary England could be our mascot!
The nimbostratus is cloud. Thunder comes from clouds, right? Also, this would give all the feminists out there ample opportunity to call the dance team the “Bimbostratuses.”
The NBA announcing crew that covered the Thunder’s summer league games referred to the team as The Thundercats. I must admit that’s a pretty awesome name. The only thing that could equal it would be if we called the dance team The Snarfs. The Snarfs”“for all those of you born after 1981″“were the nice little furry creatures that assisted The Thundercats in their battles against evil. The most popular one was, well, Snarf.
Anyway, that’s the list. If you have some better ones, let us know in the comments. Hopefully, Clay Bennett and Friends will listen to us this time around. Also, if they need any help picking out the dancers, I will graciously volunteer my time. Snarf Snarf.
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