Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

State of Emergency Winter Blast Ice Storm 2009

Well, it looks like we are in the middle of another ice storm.  If the sheet of ice on your porch steps or the overturned trucks on the highway didn’t clue you in to this, don’t be alarmed, our local media will do everything possible to over hype this and sensationalize this event.  Things like:

“¢ Sending every assignment reporter available to a bridge or overpass to provide live coverage of this “once in a lifetime” weather event.  Am I the only one hoping that one of them slips and falls?

“¢ Having an anchor go to an Ace Hardware to report that they are out of generators and ice melt.

“¢ Allowing anybody or anything to submit a “weather related closing” to the scrolling ticker thing at the bottom of the screen.  Seriously, this little thing has gotten way out of hand.  Our local networks need to come together and institute some universal standards for it immediately.  With the advent of the “internet” and “telephone,” it’s not really needed.  Plus, other than Clark Matthews, who really needs to know that Dean’s School of Dance is closed or that the classes are canceled at Dragon Kim’s Tae Kwon Do.

What makes the hype so frustrating, is that I kind of like these ice storms.  That is unless I lose power for three days and my neighbor’s tree slams through my fence. Hell, even with the damage I’d take them over severe weather.  When has a severe thunderstorm ever caused your work to send you home early to play online poker and watch icicles form on Gan Matthews beard???  When was the last time that a steady stream of rain guaranteed that you could come into work late the next day and maybe even get away with wearing jeans and a hat???  My guess would be never.

Hell, if our news channels were smart they would get their reporters off the highway overpasses and into the homes of people like you and me.  You know, the people who are enjoying and abusing the overreaction to all the hype that they created.  You know, the smart ones.

Anyway, when you get drunk tonight because you don’t have to be at work until 10:00am tomorrow, take a little sip for me.  Also, say a litte prayer to Gary England.  Maybe he’ll make sure that it’s nice and pretty for the Super Bowl party this Sunday.


  1. Since I work at a school I probably won’t have to go in AT ALL! It’s good to know that even though it’s basically the end of the world Paul Folger still can’t help looking down at Jessica Schambach’s snow globes. Sad thing was, was that she was actually wearing a turtle neck–not sure what he was looking for.

  2. “Allowing anybody or anything to submit a ‘weather related closing’ to the scrolling ticker thing at the bottom of the screen.”

    Are you kidding, and miss the opportunity for free advertising?!?! My boss calls in just to get our name up on the scroll.

  3. Case that the closing scrolls are out of control, exhibit C (per KOCO):

    Hoho’s Clown Club
    Closed Tuesday Evening

  4. I am conviced that Ho HO Clown School does not exist…which even further drives home the point of the gawd awefullness of the scroll. IT’S OUT OF CONTROL! Get the kids in the bathroom with pillows and blankets, tell grandma to get in the closet, it’s coming for you!

    I think TLO should call in a closing just to see what’ll happen. We can call it Mother of Children’s School of Androgynous People Lovers, buses will run at 9:30.

  5. Gary England just laid down the law with the “kids.” He said, “you listen to me,” and not in his usual hokey way. No sir. This is the big one.

  6. KSBI has been going full throttle today. Pre-empting Tyra Banks for an extended weather and news cut-in. Brady and his trusty army of statecams will lead us into the future.

    Incidentally, the Express Credit Auto infomercials on KSBI are a hoot (they air at 11pm I believe).

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