Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Worst of OKC: Suburb

We took a little break from the “Worst of OKC” for Labor Day. We only have six categories left, so be sure to vote and vote well. The nominees for worst suburb are after the jump.

Bethany

If you read this site regularly, you’ll know that I’m not a big fan of Bethany. In fact, we ranked the city number 30 on our 2007 list of the Top 100 Oklahoma Embarrassments. Here’s what we wrote back then.

If you are a fan of the City of Bethany, you are probably here because:

a: Your pastor wanted you to see the evils of the Internet, or
b: You Googled something like “Sad Oklahoma Towns”, “Nazarene Hot Spots” or “Where to meet boring white religious people in Oklahoma City.”

If you chose “A”, you probably live in Bethany. If you chose “B”, you should probably live in Bethany. If you chose both, you should probably just close the browser, order some Swadley’s and watch KSBI Channel 52 for the rest of the day or night. Because in Bethany, that’s about all there is to do.

Yeah, I’d say that still rings true today. The only difference is that my parents now live in Bethany. Ugh.

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Del City

Del City is such a bad place to live that even people from Midwest City are scared to drive there. The only things to do in Del City are steal a car, mug someone or get out of Del City.

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Edmond 

If you’re an affluent white person with smiley kids, golden retrievers and a fondness for traffic, Edmond would be your type of town…in 1996. Sure, a bunch of doctors, lawyers, dentists and energy company executives still call the suburb home, but more and more of these people are moving to areas like Deer Creek or Guthrie or far Northeast Oklahoma City. It’s like Edmond has become an upper-middle class purgatory for white people. Unless, of course, you are a student or live near the railroad tracks. Then you are just poor.

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Moore

Moore is kind of like South Oklahoma City on steroids and with a new hair cut. Yeah, it’s not a bad place to live, and yeah, it looks better than South Oklahoma City, but deep down, it’s still pretty much South Oklahoma City.

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Mustang

I always get Yukon and Mustang confused. They are both west of Oklahoma City, both have red high school uniforms and both smell like manure. I think Mustang is the bad one, because when I was in high school the Mustang girls were prudes, while the Yukon girls would totally let you touch their boob on a first ‘date.’ Of course, none of them had a thing on Piedmont girls. The only thing easier than a Piedmont girl is spaghetti.

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Worst of OKC: Worst Suburb

  • Del City (41%, 369 Votes)
  • Edmond (28%, 248 Votes)
  • Bethany (14%, 124 Votes)
  • Moore (14%, 122 Votes)
  • Mustang (3%, 41 Votes)

Total Voters: 901

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Comments

  1. Edmond is where you go to die, either from the grind of your hour and a half round trip on the weekdays and maintaining your poorly built cookie cutter house* on the weekends, or you’re too stressed out trying to be yet another Stepford wife.

    * Yes, your house is a cookie cutter house. The bay window and facebrick on the front doesn’t make your floor plan unique or special

  2. Patrick, it’s an Epic Failure that you did not include Valley Brook as the Worst OKC Suburb. I mean come on, the place is a speed trap with 6 police cars to patrol a town of 160 acres.

    I’m rather suprised that they have not done something like install non-functioning toll booths at either end of town. Then send people $140 tickets for not paying a ten cent toll. If they dont pay, then they would deploy a fleet of wreckers to go metro-wide impounding vechicles and hold them for ransom. The revenue from fines and kickback from the wrecker service would be some serious money!

  3. Edmond by a mile. Every time I visit that place, I end up paying out the ass for some terrible food, sitting eternally in traffic, and get evil stares from people who think they’re rich….oh, and I got searched by cops because I was playing basketball at midnight.

    All of the other suburbs are pretty terrible too, though.

    • A relative of mine just moved to Edmond from the NE part of the state. He came home from grocery shopping and backed his car into the driveway so he could haul groceries into the house (with the intention of parking it forward the next time). A neighbor dropped by and told him to make sure that he turns his car around ASAP because the Edmond cops like to stop and hassle people about offenses like backing into your own driveway. WTF.

  4. I grew up in Del City and got the hell out of there in the mid-eighties before it began its decline into the socio-economic hellhole it is today. I only go back there when I want to buy some stolen rims or my kids want to see what Compton is like. I understand that Haiti is providing Del City with economic aid.

  5. Bethany is like the poster child for bad city planning. Not so much what it is, but it could be so much better. If they have any kind of zoning it is not enforced. It must make life exciting to wonder if next week your neighbors will start up a full scale donkey breeding business in their backyard.

  6. two things are good about edmond: around the corner restaurant in downtown edmond and my general practioner is in edmond………………

  7. The best part about Mustang (I just moved away from there to Yukon) is the city ordinances that are never enforced. Even in the nice area in which I lived, people parked their cars on the front lawns, all had dogs that barked all night, cats that roamed, white-trash sitting in their cars jamming out to their car radios, speeders, “gangsta” white boys, and theft ran rampant in neighborhoods (auto burglaries, vandalism, home break-ins)

  8. Did you know that between LA and San Fransico there are over 2000 cities. But between OKC and Norman there’s Moore. Thank you, I’ll be appearring no where.

  9. Del City is so good at theivery, they apparently stole Mustang’s logo to use as their own. They must’ve also taken Moore’s…says something when you’ll take a town’s logo but not Toby Keith.

  10. Clearly few TLO readers have ever been to Mustang, or that place would be running away with the honors. H8 Gunday nailed it.

  11. Patrick, why are you ignoring us folks in Little Axe? You must not realize that Little Axe abuts OKC. In fact, the Little Axe school district extends inside OK City limits. Some of us even shop in Del City. We’re sick of being taken for granted!

  12. And yet again the whirling vortex of crap that is Norman is overlooked. When are you guys gonna realize that Norman sucks nuts harder than your grandma at a squirrel convention?

    • It’s a different kind of “worse” than Del City…more like an overpriced bottom feeder Del City.

    • Yes, Mustang is a boring bedroom community. But its schools are quite good, the community center/park/pool/baseball diamonds are terrific, and it’s relatively clean and quiet. What Mustang needs is some color. Time to build a mosque on Highway 152.

      • I’m going off of what I do know about Mustang…the MOST churches per capita, the most redneck-run town in the Metro area, and unless your kid plays baseball or football, the facilities are the worst compared to Norman, Edmond, North OKC and Yukon.
        I once wrote the Mayor and his clan about why they passed a bond to improve and remodel the “sports facilities” in Mustang, but this “sports facility” did not include soccer, only football, baseball and softball.
        Their reply….”there are not enough children playing soccer to warrant the “waste” of taxpayer money on such a sport”.
        Even if my family wasn’t heavily involved in soccer, I’d still be questioning their spending since more kids play soccer than the other three sports combined.
        Okay so I’m jaded…screw Mustang. I don’t live there anymore.

  13. Man, it’s a tough call. My husband calls Moore the armpit of OKC. But we live in Edmond (I can see the train tracks from the window!) so I had to go with that because your rundown was spot-on!

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