Dear Dude Who Dribbles The Tire In That One Big 12 Basketball Commercial,
Aren’t you glad college basketball season is back? I know I am! It can be kind of lonely being a basketball fan in a football crazed state. While I’m obsessing over whether or not Sam Grooms can be a Big 12 point guard, everyone else is talking about Ryan Broyles’ knee or the fact that OSU’s quarterback is old enough to be one of those people who always has a butterscotch hard candy to give you.
Sometimes I feel like you’re my only friend, Dude Who Dribbles The Tire In That One Big 12 Basketball Commercial. Every basketball season, I know you’ll be there, at least by the time conference play rolls around. No matter how many technological advances we have, the one constant in my life is being able to watch you fuzzily dribble a tire in standard definition. It’s comforting, like warm soup on a cold night or smashing the living crap out of a stack of Hinder albums with a sledgehammer.
When I’m feeling down, or when I have no one to laugh about the Pervis Pasco Fiasco with, I think of you toiling away in the empty gym, just dribbling that tire for no apparent reason whatsoever, and I know things are going to be ok.
And it’s not just you, of course, I love the whole Studio 66 team that covers Big 12 basketball. I know a lot of people complain that it’s too low-budget, but personally I think it’s amazing they are able to transmit the broadcast to my television all the way from Doug Bell’s basement. I know I’m not the only one who screams out “Ohhhh son!!!” like Reid Gettys when I do something I’m proud of, and I think it’s fantastic that Bryndon Manzer has seemingly managed to stop the aging process.
Anyway, that’s all the time I’ve got, Dude Who Dribbles The Tire In That One Big 12 Basketball Commercial. Thanks for inspiring me and a whole generation of basketball fans to believe that we can also someday grow up to be a person who dribbles a tire in an empty gym.
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