Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Oklahoma Republicans love them some Santorum

In just 15 days, Republicans from across Oklahoma The Heartland will go to the polls to vote for their presidential nominee. If you ask the Voice of the Heartland (The Oklahoman) who these Oklahoman’s should and will vote for, the answer is a simple one: Mitt Romney.

But…if you ask the residents of the Heartland who they want to represent their party in the upcoming presidential election, you’ll likely get a different, slightly less handsome, answer. From an article by Randy Krehbiel in the Tulsa World:

Former U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum has surged to the front among Oklahoma’s Republican voters, according to a SoonerPoll.com survey released Sunday.

Santorum was the first choice of 39 percent of the 278 likely voters who said they planned to participate in the March 6 state GOP primary.

Former U.S. Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, first in a survey conducted last fall, dropped to third, behind former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, who remained second.

Romney, generally considered the frontrunner for the GOP nomination, was at 23 percent, followed by Gingrich at 18.

Haha. It only took the Tulsa World one sentence to get in a Santorum “surge” pun. You think that’s impressive? Check out News 9’s report on Newt Gingrich’s visit to the state. Not only did they drop a couple of Santorum Surges in their story, but they also included it in their headline!

Gingrich To Visit Oklahoma As Santorum Surges In Poll

On Monday, Newt Gingrich will be in Oklahoma City as he tries to surge past the current front runners in the Sooner state…

Numbers released Sunday by SoonerPoll.com has Santorum leading with 39 percent of the vote. Romney is 16 percentage points behind Santorum. Gingrich is in third place. University of Oklahoma political science professor Keith Gaddie explains why there is a Santorum surge in Oklahoma.

All jokes about a surging frothy mix of lube and fecal matter aside, these poll results are not very surprising. Oklahoma Republicans have a solid history of voting for screwball ultra-conservative theocrats, and any Republican presidential candidate not named Mitt Romney fits that bill pretty well.

In fact, Santorum is kind of a dream candidate for Oklahoma Republicans. He loves the things that they love like Jesus and guns and personal responsibility, and hates the things they hate like gays, government and logic and reason. Santorum would fit in very well here.

Also, I kind of alluded to this above, but these poll results have to be driving the editorial board at The Oklahoman absolutely crazy. They want Romney to win so fucking bad. Just go to their “Voice of the Heartland” website. It looks like somebody threw up red, white and blue Mitt Romney propaganda all over the screen.

But I guess I can’t blame them. If Santorum does, eh, surge ahead of Romney and steal the nomination, that means the Oklahoman Editorial Board will face the daunting task of producing six months worth of convincing, straight-faced editorials in support of Rick Santorum. And they’ll have to do without using surge and Santorum in the same sentence, too. Good luck with that!

p.s.- If you’re not familiar with the other meaning of the word “Santorum,” get out of your cave in Southeastern Oklahoma and Google it.

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Comments

  1. Santorum (and Oklahomans) are only in favor of personal responsibility when the persons are poor, of a different race or Democrats. When the responsibility falls to them (paying taxes, for instance), then it’s Communism or Socialism or lesbianism.

    • ……and all Dems are welfare queens or weed smokin’ hippies with a prince albert and no job. Blahh…Blahh…Blahh.

  2. The conservative party has effectively divided their base. By pushing “family values”, anti-abortion, and anti-homosexual propoganda, they have successfully taken the right wing evangelical christians into their fold.

    The problem is that now they have candidates up for election that actually BELIEVE all that crap, and they have a base that will vote for them.

    Careful what you wish for!

  3. Rick Santorum is a blithering idiot. This guy is pro life, AND against cotraception. Note to Rick, condoms not only stop pregnancies, they stop abortions too!

  4. Santorum is a joke. He is so out of touch with some of his far right views. He would never beat Obama. Unfortunately, I dont think any of these candidates can. Maybe Romney, but only because he has the money to compete. I cant believe these are the best candidates the red has to offer.

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