Ralph Shortey was attacked by a turkey

State Senator Ralph Shortey has been pretty quiet since he introduced the 'fetus food' legislation earlier this year. We're not sure what’s led to his silence, but it could be that he’s been hard at work meeting with constituents, other lawmakers and researching other pointless bills to file.

Or he’s just been too busy fending off rabid wild turkeys with a club.

From the Durant-Daily Democrat:

Requirements for people who want to openly carry guns in Oklahoma were changed Thursday in one of two bills in the state Legislature to make it mandatory to have proof of training but not a firearm license.

The changes passed by the Senate Public Safety Committee would require those who want to carry guns in public to have a document showing they had instruction on the law and firearms training.

The new requirements were offered as an amendment to a bill that already passed the House and would require a person to have a license to carry a handgun, either concealed or openly.

Sen. Steve Russell, who sponsored the amendment, said the language that changes “concealed license” to “handgun license” is a problem.

“When we convolute the two, what we’re saying is you have to have a handgun license to bear arms and that is just not consistent with the Second Amendment and the intentions of our founding fathers,” said Russell, R-Oklahoma City...

Sen. Ralph Shortey said he refuses to get a concealed carry license because he objects to requiring a license to carry guns. He said he started carrying a gun with him in his truck after a turkey attacked him while he was on an oil and gas job.

“Wait until you get attacked by a turkey, you will know the fear that a turkey can evoke in a person,” said Shortey, R-Oklahoma City. “So I beat it with a club. That’s all I could do. I wish that I had a gun with me.

Yep, Ralph Shortey attacked and killed a turkey with a club. If that doesn't prove he's a caveman, I'm not sure what does. Just look at that low-IQ mouth-breather. He looks like an extra from "10,000 BC." You could take him to school and tell your friends you found him in a block of ice while digging your Mom’s swimming pool and they’d all believe you.

p.s. - I considered writing something about how funny it is that our Senate “Public Safety” Committee is trying to figure out ways to make it easier for Oklahomans to carry concealed firearms. No irony there, right? Because as the Wild Wild West and Trayvon Martin have clearly shown, having a bunch of unqualified vigilantes patrol the streets with hand guns makes the world a safer, more peaceful place. But I'm not going to do that, because I’ve decided to watch Encino Man instead, buuuuudy. Sorry.