Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Gary England has severe weather babes

Last weekend, we were reminded just how powerful, harsh and deadly severe weather can be in the Sooner state, and that although we like to have a little fun with the storms and clouds (and worship/mock the people who forecast them), you still need to be mindful, respectful, and very aware of the wrath Mother Nature can bring.

That being said, we also learned some things. For example, we discovered that:

• Mike Morgan needs to create an 80’s cover band called “Tornado Genesis.”

• The acronym “PDS” needs to be added or included in the drinking game of every meteorologist.

• Night tornadoes are absolutely terrifying.

• Oklahoma City Metro tornado sirens will go off at 3:00am when there’s rotation in Piedmont.

• Gary England has severe weather babes.

Out of all the developments from the April 14th weekend, that last one is probably the most important. Here’s a a few more photogenic photos of Lord England’s very own Girls Next Door:

I don’t know about you, but I feel a shift occurring in the local meteorological force. No wonder Matt Mahler had this happen to him.

Anyway, the girl on the left is KWTV 9 weather producer Lacey Swope. She occasionally fills in for Jed Castle in the morning and afternoon editions of News 9. It’s an obvious comparison, but she’s basically the 2010 version of Emily Sutton. She looks a little naïve, homely and sweet, but in two years she’ll probably find herself participating in a triathlon, downing shots at Cafe Nova and dominating the world in Ogle Madness VIII.

The other girl is Shelby Hays. She’s a News 9 weather intern. I have no clue what a weather intern does or what her grades are in college, but she’s obviously passed the initial intern test: young and cute.

Here are some pictures of Shelby we acquired through the Ogle Mole Network:

Yep, that’s reason number 749.3 why we call him Lord England.

Anyway, we’re the last ones who should be giving advice to the Almighty, but can he just go ahead and promote both of these girls to back-up meteorologists and let them report the weather together in cheerleading or nurse outfits? Wouldn’t you watch that? I know I would.

Plus, imagine what the other news stations would be forced to do to keep up. I bet Channel 5 would skip owning a chopper and move on to “Newcastle Casino Hovercraft 5.” Mike Morgan probably would ditch the sparkly tie for a bedazzled weather cape. Fox 25 may even get in on the action and introduce us to their new bikini-clad chief meteorologist Ms. Tiffany Tatro.

All of those things would be amazing. It would make me actually cheer for hook echos and golf ball-sized hail just so I could watch the weather.

P.s – If you haven’t done so yet, please donate to the Oklahoma City chapter of the Red Cross and assist those who were affected by the deadly tornado outbreak in Woodward.

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Comments

  1. If you would like to post additional known facts about Gary’s weather producer, she was the morning weekday meteorologist at KMEG in Sioux City, Iowa. She didn’t just fall off the turnip wagon and land on Channel 9. She had been an intern there and after gaining valuable experience at another station was offered a job to come back to her home state. She’s not just another pretty face, she actually knows her stuff.

  2. I have it on very good authority that Ms Swope is handy with a long gun and has bagged a 10-point buck … so think about that.

  3. I heard Gary say “you’re in the Hammer Zone” during one of the storm. It was awesome.

  4. That is such a perfect description with a link to prove it, but until you called her hot she never considered the possibility and she went from a #20 to an overall #1, the power of suggestion exemplified.
    “…she’s basically the 2010 version of Emily Sutton. She looks a little naïve, homely and sweet, but in two years she’ll probably find herself participating in a triathlon, downing shots at Cafe Nova and dominating the world in Ogle Madness VIII.”

  5. How many of these brilliant contributors ever worked at KWTV? In its early years it was the best television station in America, especially at weather. John ran a tight rein; he loved to fly and he tired of waiting for FAA flight conditions, so he made his own weather capable department; Gary England was a late addition; first color radar, minutes behind KFOR with helicopter. Except for the “Hot Shot” Nine helicopter which aired adjacent to the Hot Shot cockroach spray which ended that promotion.
    JG always competed with Gaylord.

  6. 3 Responses to Monday Morning Tweets: Pillow fights, Tebowing, and Bros

    RatPack69 says:

    April 9, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    Just noticed on channel 9 news that they hired a new weather chick to give Emily a run for her money.

    Reply

    boom says:

    April 9, 2012 at 6:45 pm

    ummm…yeah right. that chick is badddd. no comparison.

  7. A couple of other things I learned watching the 9 coverage of the last tornados
    1. A wedge tornado is the most powerful tornado.
    2. It has to be a really strong tornado if the funnel cloud does not rreach the ground but you have debris.
    3 Emergency services should dispatch on the word of a reporter in the field, not their own systems.

    • Re: Dale — the funny thing is that, as a meteorologist, I can say definitively that at least (1) and (2) are incorrect. There is a weak correlation between tornado size/width and intensity, but it is far too much of a generalization to say that wedge tornadoes are the “most powerful”. In addition, the condensation funnel associated with a tornado is a function of the pressure drop (you can think of it like ‘intensity’) as well as the relative humidity of the air near the tornado. If the air is very dry, it takes a much stronger pressure drop to get condensation; if the air is very moist, it takes very little pressure drop to get a condensation funnel to the ground. If that’s what you took away from News 9’s coverage, though, it’s not too bad — I’d rather hear the points you made in place of the made-up stuff that KFOR’s Morgan throws out there (e.g. “maxitornado”). :)

  8. Homely: Plain or unattractive in appearance.

    To paraphrase Inigo Montoya, I do not think this word means what you think it means.

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