Last weekend, we were reminded just how powerful, harsh and deadly severe weather can be in the Sooner state, and that although we like to have a little fun with the storms and clouds (and worship/mock the people who forecast them), you still need to be mindful, respectful, and very aware of the wrath Mother Nature can bring.
That being said, we also learned some things. For example, we discovered that:
• Mike Morgan needs to create an 80’s cover band called “Tornado Genesis.”
• The acronym “PDS” needs to be added or included in the drinking game of every meteorologist.
• Night tornadoes are absolutely terrifying.
• Oklahoma City Metro tornado sirens will go off at 3:00am when there’s rotation in Piedmont.
• Gary England has severe weather babes.
Out of all the developments from the April 14th weekend, that last one is probably the most important. Here’s a a few more photogenic photos of Lord England’s very own Girls Next Door:
I don’t know about you, but I feel a shift occurring in the local meteorological force. No wonder Matt Mahler had this happen to him.
Anyway, the girl on the left is KWTV 9 weather producer Lacey Swope. She occasionally fills in for Jed Castle in the morning and afternoon editions of News 9. It’s an obvious comparison, but she’s basically the 2010 version of Emily Sutton. She looks a little naïve, homely and sweet, but in two years she’ll probably find herself participating in a triathlon, downing shots at Cafe Nova and dominating the world in Ogle Madness VIII.
The other girl is Shelby Hays. She’s a News 9 weather intern. I have no clue what a weather intern does or what her grades are in college, but she’s obviously passed the initial intern test: young and cute.
Here are some pictures of Shelby we acquired through the Ogle Mole Network:
Yep, that’s reason number 749.3 why we call him Lord England.
Anyway, we’re the last ones who should be giving advice to the Almighty, but can he just go ahead and promote both of these girls to back-up meteorologists and let them report the weather together in cheerleading or nurse outfits? Wouldn’t you watch that? I know I would.
Plus, imagine what the other news stations would be forced to do to keep up. I bet Channel 5 would skip owning a chopper and move on to “Newcastle Casino Hovercraft 5.” Mike Morgan probably would ditch the sparkly tie for a bedazzled weather cape. Fox 25 may even get in on the action and introduce us to their new bikini-clad chief meteorologist Ms. Tiffany Tatro.
All of those things would be amazing. It would make me actually cheer for hook echos and golf ball-sized hail just so I could watch the weather.
P.s – If you haven’t done so yet, please donate to the Oklahoma City chapter of the Red Cross and assist those who were affected by the deadly tornado outbreak in Woodward.
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