Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Behold the Gary England Severe Weather Dong…

For almost a year now, Matt Mahler has held the Oklahoma City Severe Weather Dong Championship belt with the glorious picture above.

Well, it looks like Mahler’s title may be in jeopardy. Earlier today, someone posted the following picture on our Facebook wall. It’s pretty good:

Remember that scene in A Clockwork Orange where that guy kills the old lady with a large penis statue? That’s kind of what Lord England’s weather dong reminds me of, only it’s not part of a weird disturbing movie.

Anyway, because he’s Lord England, I’m going to bestow the Oklahoma City Severe Weather Dong Championship belt to his holiness. If you ask me, the only person who can generate a severe weather dong powerful enough to unseat him is Emily Sutton, which would be both tremendously awesome and ridiculously awkward.

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Comments

  1. Behold the Gary England Severe Weather Dong

    Sounds like something he’d say after having one too many drinks and there’s a hot intern nearby.

  2. But isn’t the Lord England dong a bit, um, well, disarticulated? Should it count? I say that we differ to a judge. The only judge that I can think of that could truly ejudicate this issue is the Honorable Spencer Hicks.

  3. it’s almost fitting, his dong is having problems….ummm…meeting UP to expectations

  4. Speaking of Emily, i was watching the 4 warn me app yesterday and idk what was going on but she pops up on screen drinking from a diet dr pepper bottle. it was amazing

  5. I’m reminded of a line from a song by Oklahoma’s own Roger Miller: England swings like a pendulum do . . .

  6. I look at it like this Matt’s stretches across half of the Gulf of Mexico and all of Texas. Gary’s on the other hand onlys stretches across a few countys. Something not to take lightly but come on I’ve seen BiBi jones handle bigger.

  7. Look closely at Lord England’s dong. It looks like maybe he has a prosthetic dong (the yellow outline) over his real dong (the short pink outline).

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