When we unveiled our 2012 rankings of the 20 Hottest Women in the Oklahoma City News Media, Jessica Schambach was ranked number 8 by our esteemed panel. Here’s what we wrote:
8. Jessica Schambach
Evening Anchor, KOCO Channel 5
I did some research and this is where Schambach has placed each time we’ve ranked the 20 Hottest Women in the OKC media:
So basically Schambach is like the Virginia Tech of the local media. She’s good enough to make the Top 10, perhaps even the top 5, but just can’t make it to the top spot. Maybe if we had some bikini pics of Jess that would change.
Well, it looks like the Ogle Influence took control of the situation. In case you’re new to the site, the Ogle Influence is this weird phenomenon where we unintentionally predict or foreshadow future events. Some examples of it are The Spy returning (briefly) to the airwaves, the Lingerie Football League wanting to expand in OKC, and Milk on Milk becoming a band.
The creepiest occurrence, though, took place when we somehow summoned the remodel of the Taco Bueno on 63rd and May. We casually suggested in a post that location get a drive-thru and then two weeks later they tore the whole store down and built a new one with the longest drive-thru in the world. Or at least it feels that way. That thing is super long! It even has curves! It’s like the Fuji race track or something.
Anyway, none of that matters. I doubt you read any of that and just jumped to the picture. Expect for you, Mike. You’re kind and read every post.
Here’s the pic of Schambach:
First of all, let me clarify that this photograph is not Photoshopped in any way. Well, except for BJ Wexler’s head being put on the toddlers body. I think there’s some sort of unwritten rule about posting pictures of babies with hot mom’s in two-piece bathing suits on the Internet, so we did that to be safe.
But outside of that minor detail the image appears to be totally real and legitimate. It’s not quite at an Amy McRee or Tiffany Tatro level, but it still works. For it to enter the stratosphere of those pics, Jessica would need to be partying with bikini-clad babes, not a bunch of dudes who are better than me at basketball. And I don’t mean that in a racial way. I really am terrible at basketball. I have one of those weird two-handed set jump shots that even Shawn Marion thinks is ugly.
Anyway, thanks to the Ogle Mole Network for providing us with the pic and thanks to the Ogle Inluence for making it happen. Also, thanks to BJ Wexler for letting us use his head on the picture. He’s swell.
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