Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Mailbag: Please make fun of the Hobby Lobby morning-after pill story

I’d like to welcome a new sponsor to the Friday mailbag. It’s Patricia’s Gift Shop! They have two locations in Oklahoma City, four in Tulsa and many other stores located throughout the US. They offer the types of gifts and novelties you would find on top of Marisa’s nightstand or locked deep inside a chest in Clark Matthews’ closet. Sultry, huh?

Anyway, Patricia’s is going to give a $25 Gift Card to whichever Ogle Mole sent us the best email this week. So think of that when you vote!

To the emails:

Matt asks:

In Spencer’s column about the Prohibition Room he mentioned the water in Norman tasting terrible. I agree with him 100-percent. Why does it taste so repugnant?

I have a couple of theories:

1. The people at Culligan secretly pump thousands of gallons of dirt, sewage and garbage into Norman’s reservoir each night in order to increase their sales.

2. The city’s reservoir is Lake Thunderbird, which I believe is nicknamed Lake Dirtybird for a reason.

Once again, those are just theories, but I would bet one of them is true. Maybe some scientist can explain it to us.

Sean asks:

Please, please, oh God please, make fun of the Hobby Lobby morning after pill story. I would do it, but you have a much bigger platform than my 50 Twitter followers and 130 Facebook friend.

What I don’t understand is how Hobby Lobby can be content with selling good Christian people shitty frames and allowing gay cruising in their bathrooms, yet they have a problem with their employees being insured for morning-after pills. It just doesn’t make sense. I think the only reason they filed the lawsuit was with the hope it would produce a Chick-fil-A bump. I bet they are thinking that liberals will boycott the store out of anger and that Mike Huckabee will organize a National Scrapbooking Day as a response.

If you want to read a good post about the Hobby Lobby lawsuit, check out this story at Jezebel. It’s spot on. In the meantime, I guess I’m going to go look for my hidden vagina, because in case you didn’t notice, I just linked to a story on Jezebel. That’s as bad as writing about tainted tampons.

Josh writes:

Earlier this morning I stumbled across and episode of The Pioneer Woman on the Food Network. It was horrendous. Since she’s always been the salt to you guy’s pepper, when should we expect a TLO cooking show.

I agree, it’s pretty bad. In fact, it probably trumps Saving Grace as the worst fictional TV program to be set in Oklahoma. I used the word “fictional” because Ree’s pioneer woman ranch mom lifestyle is about as authentic as a Coach bag at the State Fair. Crap. I just made a knock-off purse reference! Damn you, Jezebel!

Anyway, I’m not sure if we’ll ever have a cooking show. That would be pretty sad. It would basically be me showing people how to microwave leftovers, grill brats and put their own favorite dressing on a Subway sandwich. However, we do need a TV show. Maybe a local version of the Man Show or something would work. I’d watch that.

Kyle asks:

No  mention of James Hardens strip club video?

I embedded the video he’s referencing below. It’s posted on YouTube, so it should be safe to watch a work. The again, this REM video with weird topless girls dancing is also on YouTube, so maybe that doesn’t mean anything:

To answer your question, the reason I didn’t write about this is because I don’t think it’s a big deal. He’s a young self-made millionaire making it rain at a strip club. I don’t have a problem with that at all. Plus, I kind of have a man crush on James Harden. Let him have some fun.

CL writes:

I finally figured it out – Amanda Taylor (kwtv) looks & acts like Elinor Donahue from the old TV shows “Father Knows Best” & “The Andy Griffith Show”

Google them & compare for yourself.

CL, I took your advice and googled Elinore Donahue. This is what I found:

They’re clones, I tell you. Clones!

Anyway, vote for your favorite email below. Remember, the emailer who receives the most votes wins a $25 Gift Card to Patricia’s Gift Shop!

What's your favorite email?

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  1. “However, we do need a TV show.” Marshall Macluhan said the Medium is the Message. Some are said to have a ‘face made for radio.’ TLO has a ‘face made for Arial 10 point font.’ Why become something you’d mock?

  2. If your employees are on their knees for God as you claim…why would they even need to make use of the morning after pill? If they have Jesus to sleep with then this shouldn’t even be an issue….should it?

  3. Well, hell. I’ll take the bait. I don’t understand why any company should be forced to pay for birth control for any reason. I was going to say more, but I don’t think it’s needed. Is it?

  4. I’m pretty sure it God said in the book of job something about thou shalt not pay your hourly employees more than $10 per hour.

  5. The Hobby Lobby e-mail needs to win just because of the sheer humor of an e-mail about the morning-after pill winning a gift card to a sex toy store.

  6. that song by St.Vincent and David Byrne is pretty freaking cool…it’s better than any of those sorry emails

  7. I’ve seen some younger hotties working at Hobby Lobby, and most do LOOK like they’d appreciate the availability of a morning after pill.
    Try the SW 74th store on the southside…there’s a goth-looking girl who works there.
    Why do I even f-ing know this??????

  8. While the government is at it, can it also force the Hobby Lobby on Northwest Expressway to curtail the proselytizing by the well-meaning but slightly delusional female employee who works the evening shift? She accosts me and the kids almost every time we go in there for poster board and glue sticks.

  9. Hobby Lobby is against morning after contraception and equating it to abortion and saying that all of this is against the Bible.

    However, in said Bible, God himself was upset with King David’s sexual tryst with Bathsheba so he killed the child. (2 Samuel 12:13-19)

    Preventing children from being conceived = bad
    Killing babies when they’re 7 days old because their dad had a lonely night in the palace = good.

    • Yeah, and I thought Jesus was anti-judgement. I guess he didn’t judge people after he kicked all the whores out of his inner circle. Wait, that doesn’t sound right….

  10. I used to go to go to the Hobby Lobby on NW Expressway and get ogled by a gay clerk. Those were good times. But I guess HobbLobbs being the conservative douchetards they are probably fired the poor guy once they realized he doesn’t eat tacos.

    I’d like to say I’ll never shop there again, but let’s be realistic, unless there’s a petition with a hundred thousand signatures on it, HobbLobbs doesn’t care if they’ve lost 1 customer.

    Let’s face it, it’s really the “go-to” place for lead coated Chinese crap. And you know we can’t get enough of that, our poll results are overwhelming evidence of lead poisoning.

  11. Naturally my fave was the email about the faux Pioneer Woman. What Ree Drummond lacks in talent, she makes up for with her husband’s mega-millions. Who cares if the show sucks as long as Ree and Pioneer Woman Omnimedia get their cut.

  12. When people get vocal with what they believe, they were criticized, I couldn’t believe that people do that! But that’s what they say the Freedom of Speech or Freedom of Expression. Well, let’s just see what will happens next.

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