I’m still not too sure what to think about Abigail Ogle.
Sure, she’s nice, tall and attractive in a girl superhero type of way, but then again, she also has some of the features of an Ogle brother. I know that’s because her dad and uncles are Ogle brothers, but still, it makes me feel uncomfortable. It’s like dating a girl, meeting her parents, and then realizing that she kind of looks like her dad. Is it a deal breaker? Probably not. Does it haunt you for a few weeks? Probably so.
In addition to all that, I feel a little bit awkward ogling (sorry) Abigail Ogle. Something about it is incestuous. My helicopter blogger instincts are to nurture and protect her, not gawk. Hell, in a perfect world, we wouldn’t even acknowledge her existence. But this world isn’t perfect, and Abigail Ogle goes out and tweets pictures like this from Edna’s:
See what I’m saying?! Yeah, she has a large eyes, and yeah, she looks like a viking seductress, but you can’t look at that photo without seeing an Ogle staring right back at you. It’s an odd feeling. It kind of reminds me of watching some of Gretchen Mol’s scenes from Boardwalk Empire.
All that being said, I guess we better get comfortable with this. Abigail’s an Ogle and she isn’t going anywhere. In five years, I bet she’ll have her own nightly opinion piece on Channel 5. She’ll also probably make Paul Folger her little bitch. That just seems like the thing to do at Channel 5.
Also, I expect Kevin Ogle to crash through my window at any moment and smash me into oblivion with Thor’s hammer. That will suck for me, but it will make an interesting news story. Best of luck to you all.
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