Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

2012 Year In Review: November

I was going to post a picture of the president we (re) elected, but a lot of people who read this site already think we’re just a bunch of liberal artist types who don’t know the “way things really work.” “You liberals with your thinking you’re better than everyone! Come on! Obama is the devil, he’s gonna take your guns and eat your babies! I reads the internets so’n I can be ready a when for the gubment comes for me!” See what I did there? I fulfilled your stereotype.

Check out the five best posts from November and vote for your favorite:

5. Crazed Machete Man is on the Loose in OKC

Published: 11/01/12

What We Said: “See the picture up there? That’s not some lonely emo kid dressed up as a mass murdering Marilyn Manson fan for Halloween. That’s the guy.”

What We Learned: He ended up getting arrested later the same day. As meandering as his rant was, maybe writing about this guy isn’t the way to go. Not pissing off the guy with the machete is a fail safe way to avoid machete scars.

Best Comment: “Cool bluetooth, Jasper.” – Royce

4. Kind of Feels Weird to Ogle Abigail Ogle

Published: 11/26/12

What We Said: “Sure, she’s nice, tall and attractive in a girl superhero type of way, but then again, she also has some of the features of an Ogle brother.”

What We Learned: Everyone looks like their parents but not everyone is an attention seeking sexy viking lady. Makes it difficult to decide whether or not to pursue young Abigail and make her the official TLO girl or….wait. Totally forgot Emily Sutton and Joleen Chaney are still here. Never mind. What’s that? Abigail who again?

Best Comment: “I’m going to have to DVR channel 4 every night this week just so I can catch him fuming about this on the Rant.” – Ryan

3. Thou Shalt Not Commit Typos When Engraving a Granite 10 Commandments Monument

Published: 11/15/12

What We Said: “From what I’ve heard, the monument looks great…other than a couple of typos. English teacher Moses would not be proud.”

What We Learned: We learned state lawmakers have no problem putting a giant stone with religious doctrine on state property. And poorly spelled at that! There’s a separation of church and state for a reason. A pastor once told me he was dead set about blurring that line. “If as a pastor I have the right to go into a government run anything on behalf of my church, then what’s to keep the government from going into my church and telling me what I can say?” See. Separation is there for EVERYONE. Whatever. You don’t care.

Best Comment: “The 10 commandments abridged –  Don’t be a dick.” – Ike

2. Kendricks Perkins’s Wife Doesn’t Think Much of Edmond

Published: 11/12/12

What We Said: “This is Kendrick Perkins’ wife. Lovely for Edmond to treat her this way. No word on what exactly it was these people have been doing to her, but it sure is a proud day for my hometown. We’ve got quite the reputation building among our black friends.”

What We Learned: Nothing. We kind of already knew Edmond was like that. It’s a shame and it’s not right, but we knew. We all knew.

Best Comment: “Mrs. Perkins and I definitely have something in common then.” – Ron Burgundy

1. Wayne Coyne Brings Grenade to OKC Airport. TSA Shuts Down Airport. People Miss Flights and Lose Money 

Published: 11/19/12

What We Said: “Before he left town, though, Wayne Coyne did something that only Wayne Coyne could do. He “inadvertently” tried to sneak a grenade through a TSA checkpoint.”

What We Learned: We learned we’re getting kind of tired of Wayne Coyne. Not Wayne Coyne, the super cool guy who hangs out with Nick Collison or is nice to us at bars. Rather, the caricature Wayne Coyne has become. Aging rock star suffers public mid-life crisis so he begins to date younger woman and do irresponsible things at airports. We’re not saying he’s not a nice guy and hasn’t done a lot to help OKC. We are saying sometimes it’s ok to be a grown up. Without the accolades and money Wayne is exactly like the uncle everyone likes but wishes would act right.

Best Comment: “Short trip from genius to jackass.” – Tod

What was your favorite story from November 2012?

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