May 22, 2013
- Join us at the Help Moore Benefit Concert this Saturday
- Something About Yesterday…May 21, 2013
- 10 Thunder Playoff Observations Paired With Depressing Grunge Songs From The 1990s…May 16, 2013
- 33 totally awesome story ideas for the NewsOK Digital Desk…May 15, 2013
- An open letter to the cry baby known as Macklemore…May 14, 2013
- Why does Abigail Ogle have so many fake Twitter followers?May 13, 2013
- A News 9 reporter is going to be on the ABC reality show “Whodunnit?”May 9, 2013
- Oklahoma’s scariest white rapper has released another music video…May 7, 2013
- Mission Chinese could be coming to Oklahoma City…May 6, 2013
Shocking: Al Eschbach hangs out at Hooters by himself (photo)
Jan 17
2013
Last night a high-ranking Ogle Mole texted me the following pic of Al Eschbach hanging out at Hooters by himself. If you had to sum up Al Eschbach in one picture, this would probably be it:
Hands on the table, sir. Both hands on the table.
So, quick admission. I’ve turned into the guy who likes to catch an occasional movie matinée by myself. I’ve been assured by several people that this activity isn’t too weird. I kind of enjoy it. The ticket cost less, and the theater is generally empty enough that don’t have to worry about crying babies or annoying teenagers ruining the film. Plus, you can check your phone without bothering anyone. As a “professional” blogger, that’s a bonus. Hell, I may go catch Zero Dark Thirty later today just for the hell of it.
That being said, I pray that being loner movie guy isn’t the first step towards becoming the old creepy guy who goes to places like Hooters and strip clubs by myself and talks to some slutty girl about my life problems and their “college studies.” Please please please don’t let it spiral to that point! Doing things like that are okay when you’re out-of-town on a business trip, but doing it in your hometown is as dirty and depressing as listening to Al Eschbach on the radio.
By the way, I made that mistake yesterday. It’s kind of sad how the guy just mails it in now. He used to be good in the 1980s. At least I think he was. That’s what my grandpa tells me. So I was driving home from Norman around 4pm and decided to listen to what they had to say about the Manti Te’o ordeal. It was terrible. After Jim and Al did their “which car dealership” are you at routine, Jim asked Al if he heard the big news. Al kind of played along and went into dated “jokes” about the girl’s name (Was it ‘Elvira’), where they met (Ever been to Singapore?), or something like that. You know the drill. Then Jim brought up Deadspin and you could tell Al really didn’t know what that was (Do they list dead people. Ever seen a dead midget?!). At that point I sighed and switched over to Lithium on XM. I think they were playing Kid Rock. Usually, hearing a Kid Rock song is the worst thing that can happen to you in a day, but at that moment, it was as clean, pure and refreshing as an Emily Sutton bubble bath surrounded by aroma therapy candles. By the way, I’m pretty sure Emily hates me now. You’re welcome, Moles.
Anyway, sorry about that depressing story and extremely long paragraph. If you have a funny caption for the photo, leave one in the comments. The best caption will win three of these:
Yes, you can win three of our trivia night pens. Awesome, right?
So do you like gladiator movies, Tiffany.
“Hmmm. I wonder if she bumped that?”
“Jim Traber has bigger hooters than you!”
Actually sniffing jocks pays really well and the hours are fantastic……………..
see yaaaaaaaaaah
“If she’ll shut up for a minute, I’ll ask her if she’s ever heard of Sugardaddy.com.”
+1
+1
Want to go out, uh, here, uh, AT A GREAT PLACE – the Hooters you are working at. WecancallSwitzer, and, uh, have a few German Brewskies. Do you serve radishes with your beer?
“I don’t know what’s more pathetic. His $.73 tip or the fact he’s uses the same axe body spray as my little brother.”
*he uses
“Does the word Sugar Daddy mean anything to you? I drive a vette you know.”
How can they say Landry Jones is not a good tipper? He is the highest tipping quarterback in history! (something unintelligle that sounds angry)
“So which semi-nudes do you endorse? My endorsement deal went away when Citadal sold my station . . .”
“I know Sam Bradford. Would ya’ like to meet him? How MUCH would you like to meet him?”
“Did you ever see the Seinfeld where Kramer got a new shower head?”
Plus it looks like the waitress needs to lay off the more than a mouthful burgers and crab legs
“Hey honey, that King of the Midgets tag doesn’t apply to ALL my man parts.”
“Hell Yeah I can introduce you to the other 6 Dwarfs!”
If you can keep from peeing on air, I think we’ve got the perfect position for you..
“I use’ta own a resteraunt!”
“Fascinating. You might really be psychic, Tiffany. Incredible! Five for five. You’re not cheating on me here, are you? I’m thinking of another number…concentrate…”
“Honest. Jack Elliott is going to show up anytime now to settle my tab.”
“Uh, *smack*, uh, no I haven’t seen The Bachelor, ok? But, uh, back ta what I was sayin, yeah Landry Jones gotta play better, uh, but don’t you agree that players gotta make plays?!…No?…Uh, ok, then you’re like Abraham Lincoln, ya history! See yahhhh!! Goodnight Oklahoma!”
“How much is this semester going to cost me?”
“I came here to drink beer and mask my ignorance with pithy dialogue…and I’m almost out of beer.”
Pithy does not mean what I thought it did. By “pithy” I meant “racist, pointless, stupid, mind numbing…”
That’s alright, Al doesn’t know what it means either and he has a Journalism Degree and teaches a journalism Class!
Sadly, I also have a journalism degree. (((hangs head in shame)))))
“yeah, if it lasts longer than 4 hours, I’m supposed to tell my Doc, but you know me, if it lasts more than 4 hours, I’m going to tell EVERYBODY!”
+1
“You know, I sat at this table with Bob Knight, Brent Musburger and Barry Switzer.”
Jesus Christ, this is the most depressing thing I’ve seen today & I’ve already seen myself naked.
Come on baby, like I always say, playaz got to make plays.
“You know its in the Hooters bylaws that I get all Mike Stoop’s sloppy seconds.”