Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Authorities claim an Oklahoma man died of Spontaneous Human Combustion…

Sheriff Ron Lockhart from Sequoyah County is a fan of The Learning Channel. But not The Learning Channel of yesteryear, when they had programs with educational value. He’s a fan of today’s TLC, the one that has shows about conspiracy theories, Honey Boo Boo and Gypsies. In fact, last year TLC and Long Island Medium won the James Randi Educational Foundation’s annual Pigasus Award, a tongue-in-cheek award for blatant promotion of paranormal or psychic claims.

I mention that because Sheriff Ron Lockhart claims a man died from Spontaneous Human Combustion.

From Tulsa’s 5 News Online:

“This is a case that I’ve never seen before,” said Lockhart.

The sheriff said 65-year-old Danny Vanzandt’s death might be a rare case of spontaneous human combustion.

Emergency crews responded to Bawkin Road in Sequoyah County about 10:50 a.m. Monday (Feb. 18) after a neighbor told police she saw smoke coming from next door, Lockhart said. Vanzandt’s brother, Aaron, tells 5NEWS he and his stepson found the body around 11 a.m. and called 911.

“The body was burned and it was incinerated,” said Lockhart.

Fire crews on the scene discovered a badly burned man dead in the kitchen, Lockhart said.

Asked if he was serious that this might be a case of spontaneous human combustion, the sheriff said he is serious, adding no items or furniture around the body were burned. There was no other fire damage to the house and no signs of a struggle, Lockhart said.

“I think there’s only about 200 cases worldwide and I’m not saying this happened I’m just saying that we haven’t ruled it out,” said Lockhart.

Seriously, spontaneous combustion? That’s how he died? Did they rule out other causes like being disintegrated by an alien laser or scorched into dust by the green dragon flying over Northeast Oklahoma City? And remind me to never move to Sequoyah county. They probably lead the country in deaths from spontaneous bullet holes to the chest!

Anyhoo, there’s not an easy way to tell this to the sheriff: Human spontaneous combustion isn’t real. People are flammable, but they don’t just catch on fire for no reason.They have to be doing something like trying to light a fart, lying and/or doing that awesome bar trick where you spit alcohol on an open flame? What I’m getting at is there is most likely a very good explanation to why this man seems to have combusted. Maybe you should contact a scientist for help.

P.s – Our thoughts go out to the Vanzandt family. You’re probably going through a lot, and I’m sure this weird news hasn’t helped.

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Comments

  1. Leroy: Sarge, I done called the Sher’ff and he says they ain’t got no drunks down to the station we can pin this on.
    Sarge: Welp, Leroy, based on my knowledge of science and physics and such, looks like what we got ourselves here’s another one of them there cases er spawntaneous human comb’erstion. Case closed.

  2. There was a pretty good CSI episode about this a while ago. It ended up being an old lady who died of unrelated causes had a lit cigarette in her mouth that caught her nightgown on fire and burned her body.

    It was the same type crime scene though. Fire around the body/chair but nowhere else in the house.

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