Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Ogle Madness VI: First Round, Southeast Region (Lower Bracket)

Your work week is half over, unless you’re the dancing kid with the Little Caeser’s Pizza sign at 122nd and Rockwell. From what I can tell he works a seven day shift, twelve hours a day. If you are that kid, kudos for totally owning that job. This dude dances like he doesn’t realize he’s little more than a bus stop bench with a pulse. He gets paid to do what tons of silly sorority girls pay someone to let them do at clubs in Bricktown every weekend.

Here’s your Ogle Madness VI: Southeast Region- Lower Bracket match-ups!

(6) Cardboard Jim Traber vs. (11) Landry-Hand Jones

(3) Jessica Schambach vs. (14) Video Vigilante

(7) Wes Welker vs. (10) Sparkle Titsworth

(2) Good Russell Westbrook vs. (15) Josh Cockcroft

View the match-ups and vote after the jump. And in case you missed it, vote for the upper half of the region here.

(6) Cardboard Jim Traber vs. (11) Landry-Hand Jones

CardboardJim_SoonerCon 11

(6) Cardboard Jim Traber (Seen above with Sally Kern)

Conference: Cardboard Blowhards

Who he is: The coolest cardboard cutout in the world

Biggest Strengths: Just like real Jim Traber, you can’t get him wet after midnight.

Biggest Weaknesses: His wife, Cardboard Julie Traber, wants us to leave him the fuck alone.

whitney_hand_landry_jones engaged

(11) Landry Hand-Jones

Conference: Athletes Who Don’t Realize Being Married Isn’t Why You Become an Athlete

Who he is: Former University of Oklahoma Quarterback

Biggest Strengths: Chin hair cultivation

Biggest Weaknesses: Making a play against quality competition.

(6) Cardboard Jim Traber vs. (11) Landry-Hand Jones

  • (6) Cardboard Jim Traber (62%, 307 Votes)
  • (11) Landry Hand-Jones (38%, 193 Votes)

Total Voters: 498

Loading ... Loading ...

(3) Jessica Schambach vs. (14) Video Vigilante

paul folger schambach

(3) Jessica Schambach

Conference: Local News Vixens

Who she is: Anchor on KOCO 5

Biggest Strengths: Ignoring Paul Folger’s wandering eyes.

Biggest Weaknesses: Is on a newscast no one I know watches.

video vigilante before and after

(14) Video Vigilante

Conference: Super Creepy People

Who he is: Guy who stalks and films hookers, writes Urban Spoon reviews, and wants to be an Ogle Mole.

Biggest Strengths: Managed to lose weight but look worse.

Biggest Weaknesses: Other than filming hookers all day? I…I don’t know.

(3) Jessica Schambach vs. (14) Video Vigilante

  • (3) Jessica Schambach (86%, 422 Votes)
  • (14) Video Vigilante (14%, 68 Votes)

Total Voters: 490

Loading ... Loading ...

(7) Wes Welker vs. (10) Sparkle Titsworth

Wes Welker

(7) Wes Welker

Conference: Famous Football Players Born In Oklahoma City

Who he is: Denver Broncos Player

Biggest Strengths: Was a Patriot now a Bronco. An additional $7 million a year will do that.

Biggest Weaknesses: Is making less money in Denver than anyone who owns a dispensary.

sparkle titsworth oklahoma city gas card

(10) Sparkle Titsworth

Conference: Thousandaires With Awesome Names

Who she is: Awesomely named Oklahoma City woman who won a bunch of 7-11 free gas

Biggest Strengths: Her name.

Biggest Weaknesses: Impending car troubles.

(7) Wes Welker vs. (10) Sparkle Titsworth

  • (10) Sparkle Titsworth (56%, 277 Votes)
  • (7) Wes Welker (44%, 221 Votes)

Total Voters: 498

Loading ... Loading ...

(2) Good Russell Westbrook vs. (15) Josh Cockcroft

russell-westbrook-shirt and glasses

(2) Good Russell Westbrook

Conference: Good Version of Humans Named Russell Westbrook

Who he is: Elite point guard for the Oklahoma City Thunder

Biggest Strengths: Would probably help you up if you fell down.

Biggest Weaknesses: There’s a good chance he’s the one who made you fall.

josh cockroft

(15) Josh Cockcroft

Conference: Oklahoma State Lawmakers Who Want To Make Oklahoma Awful

Who He Is: State rep who wants to kill the Arts in Oklahoma

Biggest Strengths: Can write a bill that irks an entire community of people.

Biggest Weaknesses: Wants to eliminate funding for arts programs. That’s horrible.

(2) Good Russell Westbrook vs. (15) Josh Cockroft

  • (2) Good Russell Westbrook (91%, 447 Votes)
  • (15) Josh Cockroft (9%, 43 Votes)

Total Voters: 490

Loading ... Loading ...




  1. Anyone else vote for someone hoping you will be the only vote and then are like, “Damn!” when you see you aren’t?

  2. Is voting broken? I voted for the first matchup, got an error message “Unable To Update Poll Total Votes And Poll Total Voters. Poll ID #562″.. then refreshed the page and saw results with no way to vote. Dang!

Previous Post The Top 5 Thunder Destroyers
Next Post Some doc in Tahlequah wil give you a free pizza if you get a vasectomy…