Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Ogle Madness VI: First Round, Southeast Region (Lower Bracket)

Your work week is half over, unless you’re the dancing kid with the Little Caeser’s Pizza sign at 122nd and Rockwell. From what I can tell he works a seven day shift, twelve hours a day. If you are that kid, kudos for totally owning that job. This dude dances like he doesn’t realize he’s little more than a bus stop bench with a pulse. He gets paid to do what tons of silly sorority girls pay someone to let them do at clubs in Bricktown every weekend.

Here’s your Ogle Madness VI: Southeast Region- Lower Bracket match-ups!

(6) Cardboard Jim Traber vs. (11) Landry-Hand Jones

(3) Jessica Schambach vs. (14) Video Vigilante

(7) Wes Welker vs. (10) Sparkle Titsworth

(2) Good Russell Westbrook vs. (15) Josh Cockcroft

View the match-ups and vote after the jump. And in case you missed it, vote for the upper half of the region here.

(6) Cardboard Jim Traber vs. (11) Landry-Hand Jones

CardboardJim_SoonerCon 11

(6) Cardboard Jim Traber (Seen above with Sally Kern)

Conference: Cardboard Blowhards

Who he is: The coolest cardboard cutout in the world

Biggest Strengths: Just like real Jim Traber, you can’t get him wet after midnight.

Biggest Weaknesses: His wife, Cardboard Julie Traber, wants us to leave him the fuck alone.

whitney_hand_landry_jones engaged

(11) Landry Hand-Jones

Conference: Athletes Who Don’t Realize Being Married Isn’t Why You Become an Athlete

Who he is: Former University of Oklahoma Quarterback

Biggest Strengths: Chin hair cultivation

Biggest Weaknesses: Making a play against quality competition.

(6) Cardboard Jim Traber vs. (11) Landry-Hand Jones

  • (6) Cardboard Jim Traber (62%, 307 Votes)
  • (11) Landry Hand-Jones (38%, 193 Votes)

Total Voters: 498

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(3) Jessica Schambach vs. (14) Video Vigilante

paul folger schambach

(3) Jessica Schambach

Conference: Local News Vixens

Who she is: Anchor on KOCO 5

Biggest Strengths: Ignoring Paul Folger’s wandering eyes.

Biggest Weaknesses: Is on a newscast no one I know watches.

video vigilante before and after

(14) Video Vigilante

Conference: Super Creepy People

Who he is: Guy who stalks and films hookers, writes Urban Spoon reviews, and wants to be an Ogle Mole.

Biggest Strengths: Managed to lose weight but look worse.

Biggest Weaknesses: Other than filming hookers all day? I…I don’t know.

(3) Jessica Schambach vs. (14) Video Vigilante

  • (3) Jessica Schambach (86%, 422 Votes)
  • (14) Video Vigilante (14%, 68 Votes)

Total Voters: 490

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(7) Wes Welker vs. (10) Sparkle Titsworth

Wes Welker

(7) Wes Welker

Conference: Famous Football Players Born In Oklahoma City

Who he is: Denver Broncos Player

Biggest Strengths: Was a Patriot now a Bronco. An additional $7 million a year will do that.

Biggest Weaknesses: Is making less money in Denver than anyone who owns a dispensary.

sparkle titsworth oklahoma city gas card

(10) Sparkle Titsworth

Conference: Thousandaires With Awesome Names

Who she is: Awesomely named Oklahoma City woman who won a bunch of 7-11 free gas

Biggest Strengths: Her name.

Biggest Weaknesses: Impending car troubles.

(7) Wes Welker vs. (10) Sparkle Titsworth

  • (10) Sparkle Titsworth (56%, 277 Votes)
  • (7) Wes Welker (44%, 221 Votes)

Total Voters: 498

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(2) Good Russell Westbrook vs. (15) Josh Cockcroft

russell-westbrook-shirt and glasses

(2) Good Russell Westbrook

Conference: Good Version of Humans Named Russell Westbrook

Who he is: Elite point guard for the Oklahoma City Thunder

Biggest Strengths: Would probably help you up if you fell down.

Biggest Weaknesses: There’s a good chance he’s the one who made you fall.

josh cockroft

(15) Josh Cockcroft

Conference: Oklahoma State Lawmakers Who Want To Make Oklahoma Awful

Who He Is: State rep who wants to kill the Arts in Oklahoma

Biggest Strengths: Can write a bill that irks an entire community of people.

Biggest Weaknesses: Wants to eliminate funding for arts programs. That’s horrible.

(2) Good Russell Westbrook vs. (15) Josh Cockroft

  • (2) Good Russell Westbrook (91%, 447 Votes)
  • (15) Josh Cockroft (9%, 43 Votes)

Total Voters: 490

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Comments

  1. Anyone else vote for someone hoping you will be the only vote and then are like, “Damn!” when you see you aren’t?

  2. Is voting broken? I voted for the first matchup, got an error message “Unable To Update Poll Total Votes And Poll Total Voters. Poll ID #562″.. then refreshed the page and saw results with no way to vote. Dang!

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