Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Some doc in Tahlequah wil give you a free pizza if you get a vasectomy…

Even though the new TV package has kind of ruined it, there’s almost nothing better than the first day of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. I’d rank it just behind Christmas, the first OU football home game and Gary England Day as one of my favorite times of the year.

In fact, back when I had a ‘real’ job, my friends and I would always take off from work and go to a sports bar. My favorite place was the Varsity (RIP) on 63rd. We’d arrive at 10:00am, camp at out in the TV pit area, and immediately get lost in a 12 hour binge of beer, bar food and basketball. One of my last memories from the place was Eric Maynor hitting a game winner against Duke (above) and some girl, I think my wife, picking me up and driving me home. The following day, a Friday, a friend drove me back to the Varsity to pick up my car. We decided to go in for “one” beer. Before I knew it, some girl, I think my wife, was once again picking me up and taking me home. Not to sound like Uncle Rico or anything, but those were the days. Not the wife part, but the beer and the Varsity. That place was awesome.

Anyway, I apologize for the stroll down drunken memory lane. The reason I bring that up is some urologist from Tahlequah is offering a special March Madness promotion. He’s giving away a free pizza, bottle of soda, and bag of frozen peas if you get a vasectomy in March.

Here’s a pic of the newspaper ad. It was sent to me by a Mole via Facebook:

free pizza vasectomy ad

First of all, this is apparently a very common marketing ploy by urologists. Just google March Madness Vasectomy and you’ll see news stories from across the country about similar stunts. I guess the logic is that getting a vasectomy gives you an excuse to stay at home and watch TV, and for guys, mid-March is the perfect time to do exactly that.

However…Instead of getting a vasectomy and using sick leave, why not just log some vacation time? That’s what I always did. Sure, you may not score a free one-topping pizza, but you can

A) Go to a sports bar.
B) Live with the comfort that some man with scissors isn’t looking at your penis, and
C) Don’t have to sit around with a bag of frozen peas on your crotch.

Plus, what happens if you change your mind and want to have kids? From what I’ve heard, that surgery is a lot worse than an actual vasectomy. Maybe that’s why the doc who advertises vasectomy reversal procedures on billboards along the Turner Turnpike offers specials during the Olympics.

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Comments

  1. CAP1015 says:

    Hey it takes balls to get a vasectomy!

    Know the definition of macho?
    A guy that jogs home after his vasectomy!

  2. OMG Whatever Etc says:

    Simple Simons Pizza!!!! I didn’t know those still existed.

  3. thequeso says:

    God damn do I miss The Varsity. Not that it was a great place to go eat or even a really good bar, but for football weekends, bowl season, and the NCAA tournament you couldn’t beat it.

    Chesapeake! [/shakes fist]

  4. SofaKings says:

    The Varsity…ugh. I hated that place with a passion. The Split T though, that was decent.

  5. okie doke says:

    I was planning on getting a vasectomy during March Madness, but scheduling conflicts forced it earlier. As much as I feared it and wouldn’t believe people telling me it’s not that bad, it’s not that bad. Seriously though, you have to be laid up for a few days and this would be a perfect time for any hoops fan. I only took one painkiller right afterwards, but you could substitute beers if that’s your thing. I wouldn’t because the bathroom trips wouldn’t be fun.

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