Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

The OU marching band has released a list of demands!!!

If you haven’t been paying attention – and let’s be honest, hopefully you haven’t – there’s apparently been a lot a controversy surrounding the 2013 Pride of Oklahoma marching band.

Apparently, the longtime director of the Pride of Oklahoma recently retired, and OU President David Boren and some micro-managing regent went around a search committee and handpicked Justin Stolarik from Wisconsin to be the new director. This raised some eyebrows on campus because Stolarik allegedly did not meet the minimum requirements for the job and he failed to kiss President Boren’s ring when they first met. Also, I guess band members and alumni were both hoping OU would go with an internal candidate or something. At least I think that’s the story. I was in band in middle school and some of high school, and writing all this just brings up some really bad memories.

Instead of trying to blend in and go with the flow, Stolarik acted like a new dog in the backyard and ran around pissing on everything like he owned the place. He toyed with new formations and tried to infuse traditions from Wisconsin into the Pride’s pregame marching routine. This really pissed off OU football fans, alumni and band members, so they took to social media to complain. They posted pics of the Pride’s new routine on Facebook, and pointed out how closely it mimicked pregame rituals and tradition from Wisconsin.

Of course, this angered Joe OU football fan because OU is a storied college football institution drenched in traditions that are not allowed to be changed, and Wisconsin, well, they had Ron Dayne. Due to the complaints and to save face, High Commander Boren nixed some elements of the new Badger-inspired pregame routine, while allowing a few new things, like a different marching formation (see video above).

Despite all of this, the members of the Pride were still not satisfied. They continued to make noise like an 8th grader playing the oboe. This lead to the following amazing headline to be posted on KFOR:

ou marching band

Yes, watch out world. The OU Marching band has pulled a Hezbollah and released a set of demands to President Boren. If they’re not met, I heard they are going to stop playing show tunes at halftime, and replace “It’s a Grand Old Flag” with “Fifty Nifty United States.” That will teach Boren to mess with the band.

Anyway, the story about the Pride’s demands is about as entertaining as the headline. Check it out:

Senior members of the Pride of Oklahoma marching band have been fighting changes to deep rooted traditions made by new director, Justin Stolarik.

Before the season started the marching bands Stolarik reassured  fans that changes would not be made to the fanfare but that’s only a small part of their pregame performance.

The small changes that were made to the rest of the pregame march have band members upset, so they went to President Boren.

Senior members felt like Boren took their concerns seriously as they presented their list of demands this week.

Mellophone player Isaac Blaxton says, “I did not at all expect for it to just escalate that quickly to where I was being called into the President’s office for a meeting.”

Less than confident about their season opener performance, President Boren reassured them.  Telling them everything he’s heard has been positive, but Blaxton strongly disagrees.

Blaxton says, “I don’t know who you are hearing that from but no one we’re talking to feels the same way.”

Blaxton says he’s heard talk around campus about laughter from the student section during their pregame and halftime performances.

Yeah, I think that mellophone player may be delusional. Does he really think OU students stuck around at halftime and watched the band play? That would be a first. If you want to clear out a group of OU students, just tell them the Pride of Oklahoma is coming.

Even if they did stick around, can you blame them for laughing? You’re in the band! Have you seen the outfits you have to wear? I was in high school marching band and even I’d laugh at how ridiculous we looked. It’s just the way the world works. Football players get the glory and the babes. Band members get laughed it.

Anyway, we have acquired through the Ogle Mole Network a list of the Pride of Oklahoma’s demands. Here are some of them:

  1. Replace “Boomer Sooner” with the theme from Phantom of the Opera.
  2. No twirlers. They distract the crowd from the performance. The color guard in their frumpy pants are fine.
  3. Replace the drum line with a bunch of National Merit Scholars.

Wait, those were part of David Boren’s demands. Here’s the Pride’s list:

  1. Allow beer bongs to be placed inside the sousaphones so the band can sneak in alcohol like the rest of the people in the stadium.
  2. Stolarik must ritualistically sacrifice a badger on the fifty yard line to prove that he has left his Wisconsin days behind him.
  3. New uniforms made of a more breathable fabric. Chafing is a real issue in polyester pants.
  4. Make students stop laughing at us.
  5. Bob Stoops is no longer allowed to reference the American Pie “this one time at band camp” line when he walks by us on the field.
  6. Show us your women’s shoe collection. We’ve all heard about it, Boren. Now we want to see it.

Okay, so maybe those aren’t really the demands of the band. Just like Justin Stolarik, it looks like we’re just making shit up just to make shit up. We should probably stop. The last thing we want to do is piss off the band. They’re more ruthless than Jedi OKC.

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Comments

  1. First off, no offense to any Pride members, but the Pride is one of the WORST college bands, any change at all is an improvement. Second off, I can not be the only person completely OVER hearing “It’s a Grand Ole Flag” every.single.game. Barf. Third, I actually LIKE the new pregame ritual. The only bad thing about it was that the band sounded like sh!t. But…our band sounds like sh!t every game so…I guess the new game ritual is still rich in tradition.

    • NO. Tradition works in this instance. The pregame is a goddam ritual. Rituals, by definition continue infinitely with only minute changes accepted. If you don’t like it the STFU, or show up late. Halftime is yours.

  2. Well honestly everyone in my section during the pregame did give “WTF?” when they did whatever it was. I didn’t see halftime but they needed a new schtick at the half.

  3. Niles you’re an idiot! The band is not the problem. It’s the leadership, namely the director and his assistants.

  4. My only problem with the pregame routine was the new twirler, Sarah Harris. Over the past several seasons, Megan McGeary & I had developed our our pregame ritual. She would finish her routine on the 10 yard line, look for me in the crowd and then politely reject my screamed marriage proposal.

    I was depressed when Sarah Harris did not appear at the 10 yard line so that I could enjoy my personalized pregame routine. I think I need to go to President Boren’s office and express my dissatisfaction.

  5. I’m okay with changing halftime, I’m okay with new marching, but change for change’s sake when Pre-game already worked well to pump people up? No point! Also there needs to be integrity in the hiring process, so there.

    • agreed. don’t mess with tradition of pregame. play lady gaga at halftime for all I care I’m getting food then.

  6. Just to make things clear, a well-known regent allegdly pushed the previous director (Brian Britt) out of his position as Director of the Pride because he would not give in to the requests and demands of turning the band into some Broadway freak show . Brian is a product of the from its hey-day in the 1980s when they were up there with the ranks of the Ohio State and Michigan bands. He simply did not want to mess with tradition.

    Also, the Pride is not “one of the worst college bands” as Niles put it. They were one of the first bands to receive the coveted Sudler Trophy. If they were, they would not be garnering the attention it has been receiving in the media. However, it may well be on its way to being one. The Pride director position is one of the top jobs in the country, and this Stolarik guy definitely does not have the shoes to fill it.

    • Amen Andrew. The new pre game sucks ass and making a bunch of the freshman, who are volunteering their time and forking over their own money to be in the Pride, sit is complete BS! The pre game always got the crowd fired up and cheering, Everyone was confused Saturday and there was no energy in the stadium.

    • This is also what I heard from my friends who are “close to the situation”. Stolarik did not have the credentials to fill the job. He was given the job due his connections, not his talent.

    • The “coveted Sudler Trophy”. Oh my!!

      Hey, at least they aren’t jerks like those Stanford kids at the Fiesta Bowl.

    • The Sudler Trophy is not “coveted.” It is a joke, and anyone who knows–REALLY knows–what it is knows that to be true. It was designed to celebrate bands for what they have done over the years and instead has morphed into a “best band” award which it is not. It’s almost impossible to say “who’s better” between a Grambling/Ohio State…different styles, different fans, different stadiums. But please don’t use the Sudler as a way to justify you’re good. You might be good, but the Sudler is meaningless. After all, I believe Iowa has one–have you ever seen that band?

  7. And Patrick, I love TLO, but you just opened a can of worms. Haha, be prepared to feel the wrath of Pride alumni (I’m one myself) who don’t know what TLO is or what you all do.

  8. The performance last weekend was one of the most lackluster I have ever seen. You couldn’t hear them and the song selection was horrid. Even the introduction the the “70s medley” was poorly worded. Feeble, at best.

  9. First, you’re right! They’re the band. No one gives a shit! I think it’s a law or something that you HAVE to pick on the band. Second, SPELL/GRAMMAR check! I expect minor issues in TLO’s posts but this was was just horrible.

  10. Justin Stolarik just ripped a page from the Howard Smellsofbourbon disrespect tradition playboy. Next we’ll be seeing pics of Pride recruits in their underwear

  11. I’ve been listening to the Band for; well, my whole life. They sounded plain shitty last week. Don’t know who’s to Blame – it’s probably the Mellophones, but shit needs to stop quick!

  12. As an OSU alum, I normally do not care about OU’s little problems, but as a former hardcore band nerd, I’m going to back them up on this one. From what I’ve read, the pre-game matters a lot to OU fans — whether they are alumni or I-never-went-to-OU-just-bought-the-t-shirt-at-Walmart bandwagon riders — and it’s an important tradition that always gets them pumped up before a game. Never mess with the pre-game show.

  13. I don’t care what they do, as long as they stop playing “boomer sooner” every 10 seconds. It’s the most annoying song (chant, construction site whistle, whatever?) in college football.

  14. It may not be true for the other state university, but most OU fans love the band. Most band members learned how to play the part of Band Nerd in high school, but coming to OU and playing in the Pride is completely different. The fans go completely insane when the band plays the school songs. Patrick, they publish an annual paper full of sarcasm and spoof, so they are not usually culprits of taking themselves too seriously either.

  15. Who does this new guy think he is?? The band is supposed to play boomer sooner, then boomer sooner, boomer sooner again and then finish with boomer sooner. This clown wants to change it to: boomer sooner, boomer sooner, then boomer sooner and finish with boomer sooner. Quit messing with tradition…

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