Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

2013 Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest: Semi-Finals, Part 2

the guardian

Yesterday we posted the first 10 semi-finalists for our annual Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest (view them here). Today we unveil the second group of 10.

Just to review, you can vote for up to three photographs below. The three pics that get the most votes will move on to next week’s finals.


B 2013 OK State Fair - Hanging Out

Hanging Loose

You can tell this guy takes the State Fair seriously. Not only does he properly stretch out his legs, but he also gets in the “zone” before the 20-yard walk over to the corn dog stand that’s nestled behind him. Someone should remind him that he’s at the fair. He’s not about to run in a half half-marathon.

Also, I should probably note that we try to take steps to protect the identity of children in this contest. That’s why we put a black bar over the girl’s eyes. If only we could have done the same for that guy’s junk.

B 2013 OK State Fair - Pretty Women

Pretty Women

I can’t tell if these ladies are looking for a date or auditioning for the Oklahoma State Fair version of Grand Theft Auto.

On that note, wouldn’t a state fair version of GTA be pretty cool? The basic plot of the game is simple: You’re a low-level carnie trying to rise through the ranks of the state fair underworld. One large turkey leg could serve as your original weapon. To get around, you can either walk, run or jack someone’s rascal scooter.

B 2013 OK State Fair - AHHHHHHHHH


I have no clue what’s happening in that pic. I would guess the kid is either motorboating his mom or trying fried breast milk for the first time. He could also be scared that his sister is apparently eating a small owl. I don’t know. Either way, I think I’m going to start a petition to get undercover DHS agents to start roaming the state fair midway. That would be a good thing.

B 2013 OK State Fair - daisy dukes

Daisy Dukin’

I can’t tell if this guy’s a super redneck weirdo or just a big Arrested Development fan. Since he didn’t paint his body blue, I’ll go with super redneck weirdo.

Anyway, here’s a bit of advice. If your girlfriend’s jorts are longer than yours, it may be time to reconsider major life decisions like being born or waking up in the morning. Then again, maybe this guy’s a genius. When you wear jorts like that, no one really notices when you feel up your girlfriend.

B 2013 OK State Fair - Who sharted

Who sharted?

I think there’s a good chance this photo maybe staged. Keep that in mind when voting. Then again, this is the Oklahoma State Fair. If you had to pick one place where a man would most likely shart his pants on an exercise machine, this would be it.

B 2013 OK State Fair - irony


If only there could have been a donut stand to the left.

B 2013 OK State Fair - long day

Long Day

One thing I love about our State Fair Photo Contest is the dedication of the photographers. If they see a person passed out on the ground, they always take a photograph before seeking medical help and attention.

B 2013 OK State Fair - Lord Nerdus

Lord Nerdus

Well, it looks like someone is still upset about Ben Affleck being named the new Batman. What’s this guy’s problem? Did he just drop his corn dog? He’s at the fair. He should be happy and not look like he just watched the Phantom Menace.

Also, what comic book / movie / things-lonely-people-do-on-Friday-nights is that helmet from? It’s like Iron Man meets Marvin the Martian meets Virginity. Maybe he wears it to protect his brain from the radiation emitted by his gigantic watch.

B 2013 OK State Fair - why so serious

Why So Serious?

Attention teenagers, this is what happens if you have unprotected sex at an Insane Clown Posse concert.

Actually, that kid is pretty bad ass. They should put his face on cans of Gerber for Halloween. Just don’t look at it for too long or you’ll have trouble sleeping. Trust me.

B 2013 OK State Fair - The Leopard Queen

Little Miss Leopard

Why did Little Miss Leopard cross the midway to the corn dog stand? To find something that hit the “spot!”

But seriously, we all know how classy a great fur can be. And this lady knows that too much of a good thing is pretty much impossible. One does wonder, however, where precisely that swirl of spots ends as it snakes its way up her leg. Thanks to the Mole who “spotted” (sorry) this gem!

This is the part where you pick your favorite. You can choose up to three photos. And in case you missed it, here’s the link to the 10 other pics in the semi-final round: 2013 Oklahoma State Fair Photo Contest: Semi-Finals, Part 1

My three favorite Oklahoma State Fair Photos are...

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  1. Don’t let this be the last year for the State Fair Photo contest! While this does appear to have a litigious potential please don’t let it stop.

  2. The guy on the exercise machine isn’t staged. My wife, my friend, and I all witnessed it. It was in the mid-afternoon on the fair’s last day (Sun., Sept. 22).

    • Please tell me it’s merely a mild case of swamp-ass and not doo-doo, as it alarmingly appears in the photo. Please.

  3. Please look closely in the background of “hanging loose”, Oh My do you see the guy in overalls? I think he could have been a contender had someone sent in his pick……….LAWD LAWD these people got their $9 worth on that Fair ticket!

  4. Why the Ahhhhhhhhhh? She’s just breast feeding her 8 year old. Her flu shot will cover him too that way.

  5. I want so bad to vote for “AHHHHHHHHH!”. I just cannot, though; my conscience won’t let me. I want that photo to go away; far, far away….

  6. Just noticed that Miss Leopard is carrying some type of stuffed toy cheetah. Lady loves her exotic cats!

  7. Lord Nerdious! I actually know this guy. He once bragged about finding a pair or wrestling boots in his new apartment. “Dude this cat left these great shoes in the apartment I just rented”. If using the word “Cat” as a description of the last tenant didn’t bug you, how about the idiot that would wear a pair of used, who know where they’ve been wrestling boots to a Computer Class at Francis-Tuttle

  8. This makes me so proud to be an Oklahoman!

    And FWIW, I took a bike ride through the fair grounds a couple days ago and, even though the fair has been over for 10 days and we’ve had one big rain storm, the whole place still smells like cooking oil and carny sex…

  9. Not irony, Alanis. That’s a social sub-group in close physical proximity to its pejorative stereotype, or a “coincidence.”

  10. If the momma in the ‘why so serious’ pic is the nice young lady that works at Freebirds on NW Expressway, then cut her some slack. She makes the best burritos south of the Mason-Dixon Line!

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