Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

It’s official. Mary Fallin is totally losing her mind.

I guess it’s time for Christina Fallin’s straight friends to write an angry letter to Governor Mary Fallin, too.

If you remember correctly, our State’s Chief Executive Derplahoman announced back in September that the Oklahoma National Guard will no longer process benefit requests for same-sex couples. She made the decision because the will of the Oklahoma people is to apparently defy federal law and treat homosexual servicemen and women who are willing to serve and protect this country as second-class citizens.

Well, now she’s taking things to a whole new crazy and embarrassing Sally Kernesque level. Check out this Randy Krehbiel story that published a few weeks ago in The Tulsa World. Governor Mary has instructed state-owned National Guard facilities to stop processing benefit requests for everyone:

Oklahoma will stop processing all military spouse benefit applications at state-owned National Guard facilities rather than begin accepting the applications from same-sex spouses, Gov. Mary Fallin said Wednesday.

Instead, military spouse applications, including those of same-sex couples, will only be accepted at four federally owned National Guard bases: the Air National Guard bases in Tulsa and Oklahoma City, the Regional Training Institute in Oklahoma City and Camp Gruber.

The applications are already being processed at the state’s five U.S. military installations: Fort Sill, Tinker Air Force Base, Altus Air Force Base, Enid Air Force Base and the McAlester ammunition plant.

The Fallin administration’s decision appears to be in defiance of Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel’s directive to process the applications of all spouses, regardless of sex, although Fallin maintained her solution complies with all “federal rules or policies.”

Fallin said the decision was reached in consultation with Attorney General Scott Pruitt.

“Oklahoma law is clear,” Fallin said in a statement.

“The state of Oklahoma does not recognize same-sex marriages, nor does it confer marriage benefits to same-sex couples. The decision reached today allows the National Guard to obey Oklahoma law without violating federal rules or policies. It protects the integrity of our state constitution and sends a message to the federal government that they cannot simply ignore our laws or the will of the people.”

Although Oklahoma owns most of the state’s National Guard armories and training centers, the facilities were built almost entirely with federal funds.

The federal government provides about 90 percent of the budget for the Oklahoma Military Department, which includes the National Guard.

I don’t know how or why, but I totally missed this article when it was released a few weeks ago. I guess I just assumed it was a regurgitation of the original story, or maybe my body is building up an immunity to the words and policies of nutty Oklahoma politicians. We should get OMRF to research a Derplahoman vaccine or something.

Fortunately, the national media recently picked up on the news and has exposed the Governor for being a backwards thinking, illogical, misguided bigot. My favorite article/column was written by Mark Joseph Stern over at Slate.

Here’s a snippet:


When Oklahoma Gov. Mary Fallin was sworn into office, she promised in her oath to “offend the Constitution of the United States.” Many at the time assumed it was a blunder. But as it turns out, Gov. Fallin is true to her word.

I totally forgot about the “offend the constitution” line. I guess I was more wrapped up in her plagiarizing a public radio story about a war veteran.

Stern continues:

Not to harp on the point, but this notion is so deliriously erroneous, so undeniably and doltishly wrong, that I can’t quite believe Fallin believes it herself. The military’s policy of providing spousal benefits to same-sex couples is not a gentle suggestion. It is a federal mandate, prompted by the president himself, extending from the Pentagon to each (federally funded, federally supervised) National Guard base. It doesn’t matter whether the policy violates Oklahoma’s constitution: The Constitution of the United States declares in Article VI that “the laws of the United States … shall be the supreme law of the land,” regardless of “the constitution or laws of any state to the contrary.” By presidential decree, the laws of the United States now require spousal benefits for gay soldiers; following that order is a constitutional requirement. And the federal constitution is not something a state governor can simply toss aside when it doesn’t suit her viciously homophobic beliefs.

Fallin, however, isn’t alone in her crusade of unconstitutional bigotry. Texas, Louisiana, South Carolina, Florida, and Georgia have all resisted the new policy as well, citing similar (and similarly fatuous) concerns about their anti-gay state constitutions. I’m not sure what these states’ excuse is—aside from virulent, unpatriotic prejudice—but at least Oklahoma has a defense to fall back on. The state elected a governor who, on her very first day in office, swore “to offend” the United States constitution. We can fault Fallin for many things. But we certainly can’t accuse her of going back on her word.

Well said, National Writer Dude.

Anyway, I wonder where this bizarre line of thinking from our Governor is going to stop. Let’s hope she doesn’t learn that gays and lesbians can apply for a state issued driver’s license. She’ll probably take them away for all of us.

Seriously, though, with gay rights continuing to expand and DOMA being ruled unconstitutional, I wonder what other things she’s going to ban for both homosexuals and heterosexuals. If state’s are forced to allow gay marriages, will she just direct the Oklahoma courts to stop issuing marriage licenses for everyone? What’s going to happen when some gay couple that was married in Vermont wants to file for a divorce in Oklahoma? Will she ban divorce? Well, probably not. Knowing what we know about Mary and her views on gay marriage and divorce, she’ll probably want to leave that available for everyone.



  1. I love you guys!!! Great story on such an ignorant Governor. I saw this story 2 days ago & that it was the most ridiculous thing she has done thus far! I still do not see how she was elected & probably will be elected again!!! UGH. SUch an embarrasment to our State. And, then she has the nerved to tell teachers NOT to complain about the stupid new grading system, because it is the LAW?!?!?! REALLY!!!! Her & her arrogant cronies are ruining this state.

  2. Bla bla bla, Mary’s stupid. Bla bla bla, insert article from left-minded journalist. Bla bla bla, God I mattress Mary.

    • Danney, I don’t even want to know what that last sentence means. Also, one doesn’t have to be “left-minded” to realize the lunacy described here.

    • Ah, Danney. I suppose someone has to be more ignorant and a better CINO than Mattress Mary. Thanks for volunteering, once again, to be the representative from the 1950′s. Much appreciated.

    • …..insert hatred from right wing nut blah blah..it is NOT VERY PATRIOTIC TO HURT ANY TROOP…OR FELLOW AMERICAN! Go back to your fox noise danneyboy

  3. Gov Fallin is representing the will of the people of the State of Oklahoma and is not in violation of federal law. Whether you like that or not is irrelevant: it is the truth.

    Why don’t you whine about Democrats creating a “nuclear option” so that they can get their way in federal appointments? Been watching too much MSNBC?

    • I’d rather whine about military members being denied proper benefits earned than votes actually taking place on federal appointments.

    • First of all, social attitudes have taken a complete turnaround since 2004 with 16 states recognizing marriage equality and a majority of Americans supporting it. I would hardly call the marriage ban “the will of the people.”

      Secondly, you must have slept through Civics 101. I suggest you take it again.

      Finally, Queen Mary isn’t governing, she’s throwing a temper tantrum that rivals a two year old. She might not have been affected by disallowing benefits for same sex couples, but by disallowing it for all is going to hurt her. Nothing pisses of the red constituency more than acting Ina way that hurts military families. She’s not fit for office and needs to go.

      • Hey smart azz stop trying to infuse facts and logic. Just stop it! and Patrick if you are going to have a Fallin piece and not have new pics of Christina, then you just stop it too! For Fooks sake people this no time for logical and factual material iffin there ain’t no hawt pics of the pink haired one!

      • You can “hardly call it ‘the will of the people’” all you want, but until the Oklahoma law changes, it’s a fact. The facilities she’s governing over are state facilities. It’s really not that difficult to figure out.

        Will it hurt her – since it affects heterosexual couples? Possibly. If that’s a risk she’s willing to take then it’s her political career.

        As for the Senate changing filibuster rules, that have been in place since 1789, you clearly do not know as much “Civics 101″ as you’d like to think. That’s a clear sign that your party and president are unable to collect the necessary votes to get things done. Every 2nd term president with a low approval rating has the same problem – but this administration and Senate class is willing to take things a step further. The liberal agenda and the majority of Democrats are quite sickening right now…

        • Sorry Nathan,

          Some facts about the filibuster:
          - It is not mentioned in the Constitution
          - The Constitution allows for the Senate to make its own rules, as long as they comply with specific items (treaties, impeachment, veto, etc)
          - The original filibuster rules lasted until the early 1900s and allowed for unlimited debate to block votes.
          - Those rule changed under Wilson, which allowed unlimited debate unless 2/3 of the Senate who were present in the room voted to stop the filibuster
          - In 1975, that number dropped to 3/5 of Senators, except that number included all Senators, not just those present. That made stopping a filibuster much harder.
          - Until recently, that rule was not abused. Now, the GOP has used the threat of a filibuster to slow or avoid any votes they opposed.

          So, Harry Reid exercised the powers granted to the Senate in the Constitution, and broke no rules in doing so. He merely changed the operating rules of the Senate. Rules that HAVE changed since 1789.

        • Except Obama has had the problem since his first term — you know, the one that started with Ol’ Kentucky Turtlehead stating that the Republican party’s main mission was to prevent a second Obama term? The country is tired of conservatives and their two solutions to everything: eliminate birth control and cut taxes for the rich. Republicans are morally vacant, intellectually bankrupt, and think waaay too much about others having the buttsex.

        • State facilities run on federal dollars. Were it not for federal dollars, the okie guard would be riding horses and shooting off of bicycles with baskets on them. I’ll give her one thing . . .fair is fair. If one can’t have it, the other doesn’t deserve it either, but she’s about as smart as the broom her housekeeper uses to sweep the leaves off of the mansion porch when it comes to keeping herself grounded in what’s right and what’s wrong with a state that brags that it’s as like minded as it’s inbred cousin Mississippi.

    • Dude, have you not read the constitution? The US Constitution. It does state that the majority shall not dictate the will of the minority.
      And if does go against federal law and federal constitution TRUMPS state constitution or did you miss the part in the article and history class?

      • The heart of this matter is obstructionism. Obama has had more judicial appointees blocked than any other president in history, by far. The process was unheard of until Carter. It quadrupled from Carter to Clinton. Under Bush, it went down. No one reached the double digits in having their appointees blocked until Obama.

        The restraint exercised in not including Supreme Court nominations is a tell-tale sign that Democrats, in this particular instance, exercised good judgment.

    • Article 1 Section 1 of the OKLAHOMA CONSTITUTION states as follows: “The State of Oklahoma is an inseparable part of the Federal Union, and the Constitution of the United States is the supreme law of the land.” Guess under what basis the decision to pay equal to same sex couples was decided.

    • For those GOP members who like to go off on the Democrats for causing a so called “nuclear option”. Let’s not forget the so called “Good Ole Party” (for those that don’t understand that is a innuendo for GOP) shutting down the government, yes I said it and they even passed a law the same day to change the rules of the House so that a majority vote Could Not Stop to shutdown the government. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/13/house-republicans-rules-change_n_4095129.html

      I believe the “nuclear option” to put Judges into place is far more not a concern of the American Public, then the actions of the “Biggot Party” known as the GOP.

    • The “nuclear option” was a needed thing to overcome a two-decade trend of needless obstruction.

      When the republicans are in power again, they’ll love the fact that the ability of a tiny segment of the electorate to endlessly delay normal function has been stripped. You only hate it because the Democrats are currently in charge.

  4. I don’t think the Governor is short of mattressing, Danney. Bigotry cloaked in flawed legislation is nothing to defend regardless of politics. True conservatism gets government out of people’s personal business.

  5. Nathan Holeman — commenting on TLO posts without reading them first is the sole province of ME so you just quit it.

    (***here’s what you must have missed before your ignit post — “The Constitution of the United States declares in Article VI that ‘the laws of the United States … shall be the supreme law of the land,’ regardless of ‘the constitution or laws of any state to the contrary.’” Derp.)

    • I’ll resist the urge to call names just to prove my point…

      The aforementioned facilities are operated by the State of Oklahoma, so they are governed by state law.

      If the Supremacy Clause were to be applied in the manner that you’re applying it, based on the Supreme Court overturning the federal Defense of Marriage act, Oklahoma’s SCR 62 and HCR 1009 would be struck down. The point is, you and many others are applying the Supremacy Clause much too flippantly.

      • Eventually it will go to the Supreme Court and will be. It still doesn’t change the fact that Failin is in violation of the federal law and is acting in a manner that is unconstitutional.

  6. You forgot the part about when the president came to oklahoma somewhere around a year back and she refused to meet with him or even be around for the visit. The president, her commander in chief, comes, the head of the federal executive branch in our government, which is over the state, and she flippantly refuses to meet with him because of some stupid disagreement she had. (I don’t remember what it was). The reality is that the jokes I used to make about the military coming in to take her away are no longer so funny, because it’s very quickly becoming a resonable likelihood. She could be impeached, but oklahoma doesn’t want that as far as I can tell. So … they’ll have to send federal agents or MPs in to take over…possibly threaten to defund the bases…but let’s face it, that’s not a very likely solution, that puts our nation at risk. SO…what happens? The easiest most convenient solution is to send some sort of officer, agent, or military individual to remove her from office, likely by force. That’s the extreme, and I don’t know what the in between steps will be hopefully things work out in between, but no matter how they work this out it’s not going to be pretty. She’s a rogue, a rogue who has more respect for her personal convictions than her oath of office and her responsibilities to our government and people. My little scenario sounds crazy, and it probably is, but something drastic IS going to happen. That’s just what I see it looking like. To me she looks like a civil war era governor, every state it’ s own entity, loose union forming over a concept (slavery, freedom from the north) or in this case the conservative agenda, mostly religious beliefs. When religion gets into politics this is what happens. We stop working for the common good and start working for a certain groups perceived good.

    • I’m betting you have a season pass to the state fair…………………..amiright? hahahahaha just jokin ya.
      I think you helped write a movie starring Mel Gibson as a cab driver about 10 years ago, Yes?

  7. RJ Harris is a Libertarian running for Governor in 2014 as a Democrat. It’s time to vote this crazy lady and her ultra conservative party out of office!!!

  8. Mary Fallin is an EMBARRASSING excuse of a Government Official.. she used her position to push her own beliefs on the people of OKLAHOMA… I am so glad I left that backwards kind if thinking and live in a State where the Governing body not only allows same sex couples the right to marry..they follow the law ..I DO miss my Oklahoma home but am embarrassed to admit to fellow New Yorkers I ever lived there…WHAT A NUT CASE..How did she ever get elected…and how dare she deny benefits to military families just to make a point…I agree..she is throwing a temper tantrum…I hope she fails miserably in the next election…she beli gs in a buthouse..not the Governors Mansion

  9. The National Guard Is Made Up Of Two Components…Title 10 Guardsmen Fall Under The Control Of The Federal Government…Title 32 Guardsmen Fall Under The Control Of The State….Having Said This, She Only Has Control Over Title 32 People.

  10. I have been on a couple of deployments with the OKANG. There has always been gays in the military. Everyone knew who, etc, etc., it was no secret. At no time on any of my deployments was I ever intimidated , afraid, or offended by any of the gay soldiers I served with. In fact, I found them all to be some of the most professional soldiers I have ever had the honor to serve with, and would proudly serve with them again.

    • Ah, the brilliance that is Scott Pruitt. He’s probably close friends with Janet Barresi. When I stop to think about it, there is absolutely zero mental firepower in this administration. We are doomed.

  11. Everyone keeps talking about how “stupid” Fallin is, but I think she is a shrewd politician. She is doing nothing more than acting in a manner that supports the majority in Oklahoma, who did vote that marriage is defined as a man and a woman. As totally wrong as that is, it would be political suicide in this state to go against the ultra conservative right. But as long as she supports their views, they will keep her in office. Right vs. Wrong is not a consideration here. Let’s be sure and vilify Fallin for the right reason. It isn’t because she is stupid or crazy. It is because she puts a ridiculous political agenda ahead of the common good, just to keep herself in office. The underlying problem is the majority of voters in Oklahoma, not the puppets obeying their command.

    • Marriage is between a man and a woman and no one is exempt from marriage, except close relatives. Being gay doesn’t exclude anyone from being married, but if you want to participate in a “marriage” you must find someone of the opposite sex… anything else is not marriage.

      • Thank you for clarifying this for all of us. We’ve all been on pins and needles awaiting the final word on this matter from Ed Crunk.

        (Note: Ed, the above is called “sarcasm”. You should have no expectation of me, or anyone else, taking your archaic view of the world seriously.)

  12. I can’t help but wonder why Drew Edmondson wasn’t elected.
    At the very least Okla. would have had an honest Governor.
    As it stands we will likely see perp walks from Mary & her cronies in the near future.

Previous Post Hinder has fired their lead singer. Here are some ideas for replacements.
Next Post The KFOR Social Media Intern Strikes Again…