Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

Author Archive for Chelsea

A kid from Tahlequah is in trouble for writing a racy story about his band director

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I’m pretty sure I still hold the record for most detentions ever received in a single day at Jenks High School. I still remember the chilly November day when my assistant principal called me in to her office and showed me an entire laundry list of misdemeanor offenses–tardies, dress code violations, forgetting to wear the stupid student ID lanyard, texting during class–I’d committed over the last few months. She wrote me up for 42 hours of detention, maniacally laughed, then shooed me to AP Lang so she could get back to admiring photos of her cats.

A couple days later, I told the head principal what happened, and he reduced my sentence down to from 42 detentions to sorting books at Jenks Southeast Elementary’s library after school for a few days. I’m definitely not denying that favoritism was involved – after all, I was one of those annoyingly involved kids who was in like eight clubs, class secretary since middle school, did the morning announcements in his office every day, and frequently brought him Starbucks lattes. But I also like to think that leader of my fine school recognized that an ancient punishment rubric developed by people who don’t even interact with students doesn’t always contain the most sound logic.

Of course, there are always those unprecedented cases when no one knows what to do, freaks out, and loses sight of the entire point of school and students and ethics and reason and all that good stuff. Like when kids write erotica about their band directors.

From News on 6:

8 cheesy dates to go on in Tulsa

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There’s traces of a nip in the air around Oklahoma, which (I don’t know about you) but certainly puts me in the mood for a little lovin’ and affection. To kick off find-a-date-so-you-can-carve-pumpkins-and-eat-pie-and-see-Christmas-lights-and-get-a-New-Years-kiss season, I’ve rounded up a few of the most cringe-worthy dates around Tulsa I could think of.

Note: because the following activities are tacky and easy to make fun of, it probably means that your new girlfriend will absolutely love them. So no shame in swiping these this weekend. Tell her Chelsea sent you, and ignore the creeped-out look she’ll give you when you tell her Chelsea’s just a close internet friend.

Note 2: Be sure to leave a comment and share some of your cheesy date ideas. My usual weekend repertoire has gotten kinda stale.

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1. Eat at the Melting Pot, then go bowling/laser tagging/go-karting at Andy B’s

Cheesy both figuratively and literally, just don’t fill up too much on chocolate fondue or you’ll be too sluggish to bowl. Bonus point if you thump some kids at laser tag.

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2. Watch a free movie at Guthrie Green while eating food truck treats.

This sounds like the greatest date ever, until you realize that cuddling and pigging out are two things that are only fun when no one else is in sight (i.e., from the comfort of your own couch).

Turkey Mountain is threatened with plans of an outlet mall

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Some people (certainly devious executives in business suits maniacally laughing around a conference table in the Simon Property Group office building) just bought a good part of land next to Turkey Mountain, and are now in the process of developing it into an 800,000 square foot outlet mall.

As one of Tulsa’s few and beloved nature and recreational areas, Turkey Mountlet Mall is not sitting well with a number of Green Country’s fine citizens.

From Turkey Mountain’s website:

How do we feel about gourmet burger bars?

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You’ll all be happy to know that Tulsa’s Brookside is about to welcome another burger restaurant. I know, I know–Tulsa needs another hamburger joint about as much as we need another mega church or QuikTrip, but this one will totally be new and innovative and radically different!!

From the Tulsa World:

QuikTrip now sells a bacon-flavored milkshake…

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Citizens, they’ve finally done it!

QuikTrip, fondly known as the oasis of awesome on every corner in Tulsa (and the midwest, and the south…pretty much everywhere except OKC) has finally crafted what could be the most fattening, most deadly, and greatest frozen treat known to mankind.

Yes, you can now walk into QuikTrip and purchase a maple bacon vanilla milkshake! I’ve always been a dip-my-fries-in-my-frosty kind of gal. Salty and sweet is my thing, so yesterday when my office work felt particularly tedious, I hopped in my car and traveled 0.27 miles to the nearest QuikTrip to try me one.