I’m pretty much in constant fear of getting kidnapped or murdered. This is definitely my own fault, as I spend a lot of my free time watching I.D. and E! Investigates. These programs have made me paranoid about doing even simple things, like getting eggs at the grocery store or taking naps with my windows open.
I also fear, well, being pantsed. Rewind back to middle school, when my anxieties centered around getting a pimple or acting like a spaz in front of a football player. Thanks to a traumatic incident in gym class which involved a pair of elastic shorts that said “CHEER” across the butt and a punk in a studded belt and Blink-182 t-shirt, I have a fear of having my pants ripped down in front of a large audience (again).
Unfortunately for me, my two biggest horrors have joined forces to form a super-crime spree more terrifying than Biker Fox on bath salts chasing me into a sink hole. Not only are armed criminals stealing really tricked-out cars, but they’re taking the victim’s pants with them, too.
From News on 6:
As TLO’s resident Tulsa Tuesday pundit, I’m frequently asked about the best places to hang out and be merry in T-Town. That’s why I’ve decided to review the pros and cons of the most popular bar districts in Green Country.* Visitors, weekenders, or dorks who never leave the house, consider this guide as a personal welcoming gift from yours truly.
* Editor’s Note: For those who landed here via a Google search because you got Chandler Binged for a week or two, Green Country is an Oklahoma “Adventure District” that includes Tulsa. It’s confusing. Just go with it.
Brookside, Peoria between 31st and 41st
1. The awesome restaurants. Sonoma’s cheese plate is stinky and gourmet. The dumplings at Keo will make you rue the days you once treasured Panda Express. The truffle and sage fries at R Bar will make you cry tears of joy. I’ve been eating the cream cheese queso at Cafe Ole for 24 years now, and I can tell you firsthand that it is what dreams are made of. I ate brunch at In the Raw on Sunday, and this morning I woke up still suffering from food baby postpartum depression.
2. It’s sports central. From pro basketball to college football, there’s no better place to watch a game than Leon’s or R Bar except for being at the games themselves. Well, maybe watching a college football game at Leon’s or R Bar is more fun than inside the stadium because you know, there’s booze and spinach dip and air conditioning. Or maybe I’m just extremely high maintenance.
3. It’s reasonably priced. Dives like Warehouse and Sharkies offer $3 shots, and Leon’s has $1 domestic drafts on game days and free beer for ladies Thursday nights. One of the first things I learned post-graduation is that it takes a lot more money to be generous at bars that aren’t located in college towns. Remember when you could show off and buy your friends a round of fruity shots for under $20? Yeah, it’s not quite as fun when it costs as much as your electric bill. At least the pounding headache you’ll get the next morning is on the house.
Avoid this place during any school-sanctioned holidays. It’s the unspoken reunion spot for all college kids visiting home, which is great if you’re a college kid, but terrible if you’re a grown up and appreciate things like dignity and not feeling like a creepy bastard.
The two guys pictured above aren’t extras in Varsity Blues, nor were they the stars of any Stoney LaRue videos. These good ol’ country boys are Muskogee natives Colton and Zach Swon, aka the Swon Brothers Band. They’re finalists on this season of The Voice, and not surprisingly, they’re being coached by Oklahoma’s own Blake Shelton. They’re also the first duo to ever advance this far in the show’s history, and are touted (well, by NBC’s teaser promos) as one of this season’s frontrunners.
From their bio page on NBC:
These country-singing brothers, Colton and Zach, hail from Oklahoma. As kids they grew up with Southern gospel music, which sparked their interest in becoming musicians, and they are now fans of Keith Urban and the Eagles. With big personalities, often providing the comic relief, the brothers’ close relationship keeps them on track to fulfilling their goals and musical ambitions.
Check out their blind audition after the jump:
I’d like to make fun of Tulsa Community College students, but it’s hard to do so without coming across as a douche. Mostly because the kids I knew who went there are all normal, functioning, productive members of society who enjoyed Bud Light, casual sex, and midnight grilled cheeses just like the typical four-year college student…but also because I’m better than all of them.
Actually, I kind of like community college students. You’re bound to run into a diverse cast of stock characters. You’ve got your semi-Autistic middle eastern pop culture enthusiast. Next, you’ll meet a wealthy senior citizen who decides to get their education out of sheer boredom. There’s always a single mom who’s BFFs with Jesus, and a high school hero jock who unfortunately lost their scholarship at a division one college. There will certainly be a manic, unrelenting study freak, but keep her around incase you ever need Adderall. If you seen a wily Asian dude who happens to be a Spanish teacher/security guard and looks like they may or may not frequent Las Vegas with chubby bearded men, I highly recommend running the opposite direction. Lastly, you have your suave, tall, and sexy suspended lawyer who simultaneously works for E!. Wait…I think I might have just described the cast of Community. Okay, so that’s really all I know about community college, other than the fact that some students bring alligators to school.
Yeah, that happened:
Another week, another random Top 10 list that Tulsa and OKC ends up on. What’s going on with that? Apparently, our state’s largest cities are the poster child paradigms for suburban, mid-market, urban sprawl utopias. (Editor’s Note: I think magazine list makers have learned that people in Oklahoma are the only one’s who care about magazine lists.)
Last week, Forbes ran an article ranking the best cities for young entrepreneurs. They based the rankings on access to capital, affordability, community support, and the overall business atmosphere. They published their findings complete with raw statistic figures and zero commentary or further explanation. Oh yeah, it was also in
satanic slide show format. Here are the slides:
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