Now that the smoke and mirrors of Madonna’s minotaur and Sia’s famous body double has dissipated, it’s finally time to discuss what really matters to us: which one of you has connections in the fashion world so I can steal Miley Cyrus’s sexy Alexandre Vauthier cutout dress that I saw on the runway and called she would wear last week.
Oh whoops. Sorry, I forgot this was a Lost Ogle post. Boobs girls Wayne Coyne sucks!
What I meant to say was, let’s discuss how Oklahomans fared at the 2015 Grammys.
We’ll start with Oklahoma’s favorite couple, Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert.
Come on people. I’ve said it before–Blake and Miranda are easily one of the most famous and most loved power couples in America. Why don’t they dress like it?
Blake, we get it. Like Doug Funny, you have your uniform and you apparently love it. That’s cool. You’d probably lose some dirt road cred if you started showing up to parties in velvet jackets and pointy shoes. So although Blake’s worn this outfit approx. 34294 times, I’d say he looks nice.
Miranda…girlfriend. Not that you don’t look beautiful–cause you do. Stunning as per usual. The make up, flawless. But I know how many plates full of fried chicken you’ve said no to in order to maintain that bangin’ body, and I know how many hours at the salon it takes to make your hair look that beautifully colored and artfully undone. Let’s be real, the dress is super boring. If it wasn’t for the pink embellishments, it could easily pass as a Dillard’s find. You can wear Dior, or Givenchy, or Chanel. The world is your oyster! Take advantage of this.
Also, I realize that showing up in matching outfits is so 90’s Brit and Justin, but it looks like Blake and Miranda came from two different places and just happened to bump into each other.
Miranda performed Sunday night and won Best Country Album. Here’s the video in case you missed it:
My favorite part of the performance was when she forgot she was on network TV and belted out a couple four letter words. It was the only time (at least that I noticed) the awkward silence of being censored. Kanye, you soft.
Next, our homegirl Carrie Underwood won Best Country Solo Performance with her song “Something in the Water.” She looked amazing as usual too:
It started off as a normal week on the Facebook front. When I scrolled through my timeline, it was your typical Facebook minutia–birthday wishes to people you hardly know, ignorant political propaganda dressed up as an overused internet meme, some nostalgic list about 90’s fad toys or television shows. But then something peculiar started popping up. Co-workers and people I went to high school with kept sharing some article about Tulsa being the default screen on Google Maps.
Uh, no shit Tulsa is our default location. Hulllooo brainless, we live here. Why are people acting like this is big news? Go back and take another stupid Buzzfeed quiz.
Well, it turns out I’m the one who’s actually the idiot. Last week, the people at Quartz solved this mystery that I never even knew was a thing:
In traditional pre-Super Bowl fashion, we’ve all got DeflateGate, Belichick’s douchey-ness, Russell Wilson’s boring generic nice-ness and, of course, commercials on the brain. To capitalize on this topic, I thought I’d have my own little face off between some notable local commercials we’ve all seen again…and again…and again. I don’t think anyone would argue that the two most prolific local commercials spots in Tulsa belong to Hahn Appliance and Jim Glover Chevrolet.
Sure, we see these people every morning. We see their ever-changing hair cuts and their unfailing enthusiasm for fake holidays worthy enough to deem a door sale, but what do we really know about Lee Sherman, Gentry Johnson, and Jared and Kristen Glover? More importantly, if thrown into a gladiator’s arena, which team would triump?
We’ll break it down after the jump.
Round 1: The Relationship
NewsOK.com issued more clickbait yesterday with Richard ViralNovaBuzzfeedHall’s ranking of the 8 Best Christmas Movies Ever. It’s your standard, typical stuff. It’s boring, mindless and presented in the form of a slideshow so if some sap at your work clicks through the entire thing, The Oklahoman gets nine pageviews out of the deal.
As a response, and possibly because Chelsea submitted this post a few weeks ago, I thought a fitting, overachieving response would be to rank the 10 Worst Christmas Movies of All Time. 10 is better than 8, right?
Before we begin with my ranking of the worst Christmas films, here are the parameters I went by:
I know, half of you want to take me out for putting Elf on this list. But I feel like this movie has sort of an age continuum attached to it, similar to Barney’s theory about Ewoks and figuring out a woman’s age in HIMYM. If you were young enough to watch it as just an earnest Christmas film, you loved it. If you were old enough to have seen Will Ferrell on SNL, understood his MO, and thought he was funny, then you could appreciate it too. But it you land somewhere in between–like yours truly–it comes across as something you kinda like, but would vastly improve if watched while smoking a joint.
Redeeming Quality: “Bye Buddy, hope you find your dad!”
9. Christmas with the Kranks
I actually really dig this movie. I loved the source material, I love Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis, and I saw this movie while in New York for the Macy’s Day Parade, so any mention of it fills me with fond memories. Apparently though, I stand alone with this sentiment. No one else likes it–and I mean no one. My boyfriend groans every time I suggest it. Screw all of you! Sure it’s a cheesy Christmas movie, but it knows what it is and embraces it.
Redeeming Quality: Dan Aykroyd plays the neighbor who’s way too into Christmas, the neighborhood, and what everyone else in the neighborhood is up to. You have an uncle or co-worker or neighbor who behaves exactly like this.
If you’ve read my rants on food trucks and gourmet burgers, you know that I’m a big supporter of the ol’ “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” adage. I mean, just because a french fry is doused in truffle oil and gouda cheese curds don’t necessarily make them better that their original version. I’m a firm believer in this notion, especially when it comes to things like milkshakes and Christmas lights and the raison d’être of teenage vampires.
However, when it comes to movie theaters, Grandma Chelsea is all for these newfangled improvements. You’d have to be crazy NOT to prefer chips and hummus over a soggy hot dog, or a leather recliner over a threadbare stadium chair a middle schooler almost certainly visited second base on for the first time. My prefered place to watch a movie is snuggled up on my couch, in my pajamas, with a mug of hot cocoa in one hand and my puppies at my feet. Any business that wants to replicate that sort of cozy comfort in a public setting has my attention.
So obviously, I’m pretty excited about the tricked-out Warren Theater they’re building in Broken Arrow.
From the Tulsa World:
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