Author Archive

Clark Matthews’ Endorsement: James Lankford

Friday, July 23rd, 2010

Thanks to Mary Fallin’s decision to run for governor, the competition for her opening 5th district (the district that covers OKC) congressional seat is fierce.  With the Republican primary (or as, I refer to it, the nomination of the next congressman) on Tuesday, I thought I would like to weigh in for the eight readers we have that are registered to vote GOP.  It was not an easy decision.  Patrick lent his endorsement to one of the guy in the race with a porn name, and the comedic potential of Shane Jett going to Washington to offer bills requiring Supreme Court justices to wear powdered wigs was tempting.  However, my endorsement goes to…

James Lankford.

Why James Lankford? 

Is it that Lankford is uberqualified because his father-in-law was a marine and he spent thirteen years running a camp where Baptist youth lose their virginity?  No.

Is it that his face looks like it is made out of modeling clay?  No…well, it doesn’t hurt.

Is it that Lankford has a dickish way of addressing people like morons when it comes to the issue of illegal immigration; or the super punny visual non sequitor he made in the same video?  Sort of.

Is it the way he is trying to bring back the ceasar haircut that was popular when I was in high school (right after bowl cuts and just before shaving it all off)?  Not really.

The reason, as with every decision I make in my life, is that Lankford has red hair, and we gingers have to stick together.

History Nerds and the 4-0-5

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

Yes, we have made fun of Steve Lackmeyer on occasion.  The Oklahoman’s downtown beat writer  has been the butt of jokes about a grown man wearing Bricktown-themed pajamas and Devon tower inspired erections.  Today, though, we’re putting aside the snark because Steve did us a huge favor.

Steve is the director of  RetroMetroOKC, a new history project that launched about a week ago.  For people obsessed with the history of this area, like founders of obscure local social blogs, it is a GaryEnglandsend.  As part of my recent series on Oklahomans doing cool things (see this article for the first post), Steve agreed to do a Q&A about the new website, what the project has in store, and how our readers can help it to be even better.  Check it out:

Q: The mission statement of your project is:  “Retro Metro OKC is dedicated to educating the community and its visitors about local history by collecting, preserving, displaying and interpreting materials reflecting the heritage of Oklahoma City.”  How did your group come together and decide that an endeavor like this needed to happen?

A:It started with a lot of coffee. I’m good friends with Doug Loudenback, who has the popular history blog www.dougdawg.blogspot.com. I went to high school with Buddy Johnson, the archivist who runs the Oklahoma Room at the downtown library. Buddy had spent some time talking with assistant city planner A.J. Kirkpatrick about the need to better preserve and tell our city’s history. I was having similar discussions with Doug and Blair Humphreys. A.J. Kirkpatrick had a friend, Marc Weinmeister, who shared our vision, and, well…. it started with a lot of coffee. Within a few months we had added another dozen or so people with the diverse talent needed to pull this off.

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Only Commies Use Stucco

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

After baseball size hail smashed up Matthews Manor, contractors scoured our neighborhood drumming up business.  My poor wife, who was at home during maternity leave (and now because her employer doesn’t understand how FMLA works) has to fight off door-to-door roof salesmen–while dealing with a collicky newborn–that seem to multiply like cockroaches in the pizza box Chad uses for a pillow.

If only we could decide which company should get our insurance check, things would be so much easier!  But, anyone we use has to proclaim they are a Christian in the most self-serving way possible.  If they aren’t conservative or Oklahoman, we can’t use them.  Plus, if choosing them to drive nails into my house will assist secular-socialism, it is a dealbreaker.

Having an owner who wears nut-hugger jeans and a loose tie, that brags about his quality of work as an afterthought to his political beliefs would get me on the phone instantly.  Of course, finding a company like that is not easy in this state.

Thankfully, some advertising firm mixed up the focus group data they were using to produce spots for Republican candidates during primary season with the profile data for small, local businesses and pitched the spot above to a loony metro contractor.  The results are hilarious.

OKC Media Approval Ratings

Monday, July 19th, 2010

Last November, we started a weekly feature (that we forgot about for a couple of months rating local media personalities.  As of last week’s three-fer, twenty-five members of the media have received a thumb-up or down from our discerning readers.  The results are in the graphic below.

Not surprisingly, Joleen Chaney, the reigning #1 on our Hottest Women in the Oklahoma Media, is pacing the field with a blistering 95% approval rating.  On the other end of the spectrum is Oklahoman writer Jenni Carlson whose writing makes us all want to hurt ourselves.

In between there were a few surprises.  For instance, Jim Traber, who loves this website and checks it daily for material, was liked by nearly a quarter of our readers.  I know he has a pathetic little website, a pathetic little radio show, and a pathetic little twitter account, but I assumed they were popular for the same reason people like to check out freak shows at carnivals…not because people actually like him.  Good for him, he only comes in second-to-last, a status he’ll probably use in his ongoing feud with Jenni Carlson.

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Stuff Oklahomans Like: Complaining About the Weather

Wednesday, July 14th, 2010

Photo taken by Chad Love.

Will Rogers, a founding father of the state of Oklahoma, used to say, “If you don’t like the weather in Oklahoma, wait a minute, it will change.”  The truth behind the joke has been a major windfall for residents of this state.  It gives them something to complain about.

While you will rarely meet a Minnesotan who will gripe about their perpetual freezing temperatures or someone from Arizona who won’t defend their climate as “dry heat,” the variety provided in Oklahoma’s borders allows the residents to bitch about whatever Mother Nature offers.  In fact, the variety itself is something to raise the ire of Oklahomans.

Having lived in this state my whole life, I’ve seen high temperatures swing forty degrees from one day to the next and heard thunder claps and seen snow in the same 24 hour period.  On those days when you wear shorts to pick up your morning paper and need a parka to walk your dog in the evening, hearing less than 500 people sarcastically say “You gotta love Oklahoma weather,” means you are probably a hermit.

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OKC Media Approval Ratings: Laid Off OETA Personalities

Monday, July 12th, 2010

Fitting to their roles as news reporters on public television, the careers of George Tomek, Gerry Bonds, and Ross Dixon quietly came to abrupt endings last week.  Honestly, I can’t write much about them because, like you (unless you’re my dad–Hey Dad!), I didn’t watch their newscasts.  It is sad, though, that state budgetary cuts put some grizzled veterans of the airwaves out to pasture before they were ready to hang up the blazers on their own accord.  So, they will get their one last chance to be rated by our readers.

George Tomek

In response to his dismissal, Tomek told The Oklahoman:

“I consider myself performing a public service.  A lot of people in TV news are in it for the glitz and the glimmer, and they are very egocentric. My hallmark has always been credibility and professionalism.”

When read this quotation, Dean Blevins predicted that there was a 82% chance this attitude is why he was shown the door.

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Five More Years!!!

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

 

I was sitting Pappa Deux’s Mexican restaraunt in Houston waiting for my fajitas and trying desperately to get information about the NBA Draft lottery.  TheLostOgle.com had just launched (it was so fresh that I, as a founding member, didn’t know it was live because I was out of town).  Oklahoma City had no NBA team.  New Orleans had reclaimed the Hornets, but I was convinced that the OKC based investors who had recently purchased the Seattle Supersonics did so with the intention of moving them here.  That’s why my co-worker wondered why I was so antsy at the dinner table.

“I’m hoping the Sonics get the second pick in the draft,” I told him.

“Why?” he asked.  “Why not first?”

Such a simple question with such a complex answer.  It mostly hinged on my fervent belief that two years from then (it turned out to be one) the team in Seattle would be our hometown team.  Otherwise, I could give a crap about the Supersonics.  I had adopted the Hornets simply because they had played their home games here, but before that I had supported the Utah Jazz because I liked John Stockton and Karl Malone.  As a kid, I liked Larry Bird and the Celtics.  It was the perogative of a fan free agent.

At that point, on that day, I expected to make a life long commitment to a team and I wanted them to have the best college player I had ever witnessed.

University of Texas freshman Kevin Durant had been electric in his one season in the Big XII.  During the triple overtime thriller that he played against my alma mater, Durant had lit up Oklahoma State.  It came so easy to him.  Even with defensive lock down artist Marcus Dove hounding him, K.D. found a way to score with such ease and grace that I didn’t even mind he was torching my team.  Hell, I even wanted to see him get the ball more.  After OSU finally won the game on a desperation three at the buzzer, I never missed a Durant appearance on national television.  He was, quite simply amazing.

Meanwhile, Seattle sucked.  Not just the city’s attitude toward the NBA team that headquartered there, but the team itself.  The Sonics had one of the league’s worst records and a serious opportunity to move up in the draft with the luck of some ping pong balls.  My hope was that they didn’t move up too far.

You see, Greg Oden was the expected number one pick.  I’d watched him in college, too, and been underwhelmed.  He was bigger and stronger than everyone else, and seven footers are automatically given overwhelming expectations,  but what others saw in him, I missed.  He didn’t even dominate in high school, and in college all I heard were a lot of apologies for why he seemed so ordinary.  Perception is important, though, so I knew if Seattle got the first pick overall, they would take him.

Anyway, back to Pappa’s Mexican joint, I slipped away from the table just in time to see that Seattle’s ping pong ball had been in the top-3 on a bar television.  When I found out that Portland “won” the whole thing and that the Sonics got the #2, I was ecstatic.  For the rest of the evening, I was happy enough that I stopped thinking about how my brand new job–that I’d taken because my old company moved to Houston and I didn’t want to go with them–sent me to the armpit of America for my first assignment.

Since then, little has made me change my opinion.  The Sonics drafted Durant, the team moved here a year later, and Durant has continued to be my favorite player.  Of course, when I was praying I would be able to watch his every game, it was because I was enamored by his offensive prowess.  Little did I know that he would also turn out to be an excellent role model, teammate, and leader.  Yesterday, in a method 180 degrees different from the man he finished second in the MVP voting, Durant announced that he would remain with the Thunder until at least 2016.  That means he will definitely be around long enough for my young sons to remember him as the first superstar they got to see in person.

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Lack of Drama

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

For NBA fans, 2010 is always going to be remembered–for better or worse–because of the free agent bonanza.  In many ways, the availability of a plethora of the league’s best players and the upcoming labor dispute that is bound to derail the league next season, has influenced the entire league for the past three seasons. 

In 2006, the vaunted draft class of 2003 became eligible to sign extensions.  Many of the players taken that year had become superstars quickly in their careers, and–arguably–the three best players chose to leave money on the table rather than take the maximum allowable.  There were many reasons to explain the seemingly odd decision (I mean, how often do you tell your boss you appreciate the raise offer, but you’d rather take less now so you can make more later?  You take the money on the table, right?).  For LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh they had the confidence that they could continue building their brand for three more years when they would hit the magic number for years experience right before armaggedon was scheduled to hit the league.

With agents that apparently forecast the Wall Street meltdown, housing collapse, and nationwide reception better than anyone on Capitol Hill, these three players are now in perfect position to cash in before the league owners destroy the player’s union when the collective bargaining agreement ends prior to free agency in 2011.  When that happens, most expect the league’s current financial crunch to give owners all the leverage they need to reduce the size of player contracts and/or even institute a stricter salary cap that would limit player salaries even more.

So, to get paid, players need to get paid now, and as a result, half the league has tanked ever since the big-3 chose to go this route in order to have an opportunity to snatch them away right now.  For those who don’t know, “tanking” is the practice of intentionally making a team worse in hopes of the short term pain leading to a long term reward.  It usually is related to jockeying for a better draft slot that allows the team to get a better college player a few months later.  In this case, though, the spectre of getting an established young star has led to prolonged tanking by half the league.

The New York Knicks, who had a horrible roster to begin with, have been intentionally making lop sided trades against their favor in order to clear cap space to sign LeBron.  The Nets sold part of their team to LeBron’s favorite rapper to get an advantage, and are probably moving the team to Brooklyn to impress him specifically.  Miami, on the other hand, has already had one of the stars (Wade) since drafting him in 2003, but they have managed to shell off every player on their team (aside from him and two low wage earners) with hopes of signing all three of them.  So, if Wade chooses to go elsewhere, they will be looking at a core of Mario Chalmers and Michael Beasley for next season.  Other teams like the Chicago Bulls, Los Angeles Clippers, and Minnesota Timberwolves have also maneuvered their rosters so that they can afford to offer at least one player a maximum contract.

Do the math.  Three players and at least six teams who have gone all-in in hopes of getting one star.  If the rumor that both Bosh and Wade have decided to go to Miami is true, with James potentially joining them after he selects a team by choosing a hat during ESPN primetime on Thursday, that means there are a lot of teams who intentionally got worse who are likely to remain that bad for years.  Did you notice one team not mentioned?

The Oklahoma City Thunder.

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