I affectionately refer to On the Road as the book that launched a thousand man children. (And if not man children, then you have to agree that at least it launched a thousand fedoras.) So it’s kind of odd that I’m about to take a Kerouac-style vision quest so I can come back to you with a lot more things to write about. But that’s what this post is all about — my impending sabbatical.
So, we all know about the current budget cuts to the public education system in our state as well as the teacher shortage, but apparently there are way worse things happening to our state’s educators. That’s right. When teachers aren’t spending their own money on school supplies, going without raises, or having their jobs straight up cut, their students are being a real bunch of assholes.
So, what’s going on? Well, in Deer Creek, high schoolers released a ton of ladybugs in their school.
Deer Creek High School officials are investigating a senior prank in which thousands of ladybugs were released into the school.
Officials said a lengthy cleanup was in order after 3,000 to 7,000 ladybugs were on school grounds.
The ladybugs were disposed of in the cleanup.
The Oklahoma County Health Department was called to the school to ensure lunch could be served.
Ladybugs? I guess that’s not so bad. I mean, overall they’re pretty cute, and I think they’re good luck. And they’ll keep your tomato plants aphid-free. And retrospectively, they could’ve released a slew of black widow spiders in the school. This is relatively harmless.
But in Oklahoma City, some middle school students catfished a teacher into giving them some nude photos via social media.
Admittedly, I don’t know a whole lot about prison or the security measures that guards take, or what it’s like visit one. I did, however, enjoy season 2 of Orange is the New Black, so, I feel like I’m not talking out of turn when I give this little critique of the current tactics people are using to sneak stuff into prisons.
What do you do when your state has the second highest teen birth rate in the nation? That’s easy. You encourage the state Medicaid agency to end its contract with Planned Parenthood.
According to KOCO.com:
Oklahoma is ending its contracts with two Planned Parenthood organizations that provide health services to thousands of mostly low-income women and families, the head of the state’s Medicaid agency said Wednesday.
Oklahoma Health Care Authority Chief Executive Officer Nico Gomez said the agency notified Planned Parenthood of Central Oklahoma and Planned Parenthood of Arkansas and Eastern Oklahoma in February of its intent to terminate provider agreements with the two affiliates.
“My decision in February was made based upon what I firmly believe to be the best interests of this agency going forward,” Gomez told The Associated Press in a statement.
The state contracts with the two affiliates will remain in place until June 29, which Gomez said should provide members obtaining services at Planned Parenthood clinics time to make any necessary alternative arrangements.
Necessary alternative arrangements? Can you give me an idea of how many clinics are available to provide routine cancer screenings, birth control, STD testing, and immunizations? How far away are these clinics? Does traveling to these clinics provide some kind of hardship to these patients? And if someone knows and trusts the physicians they’ve been seeing at Planned Parenthood, isn’t it kind of a shitty thing to do to make them go elsewhere? There better be a good reason for this:
Cool fact about my car: 40% of its components have been recalled. Even cooler fact about my car: The auxillary port in the stereo doesn’t work, and the CD player is broken. (I’m fully aware I need to get a new car, but I keep holding out hope that we will get a metro-wide public mass transit system that runs 24/7. I’m also fully aware this will never happen.)
Because of the state of my car stereo, I listen to the radio a lot. And while I do have two NPR stations programmed in my presets, I still find myself listening to some of the local music stations. (Or, more accurately, I find myself flipping through the stations for the duration of my trip on the off chance that I find a song I like.) I’ve also gotten to listen to a lot of DJs, and this has led me to think about them a lot.
The local station that has occupied a lot of my head space has been the Katt. What can I say? I spend a lot of time waiting for “Possum Kingdom” by The Toadies to come on, and I hate how 94.7 has that bullshit “man up” campaign, which means I stick with 100.5. So, I’ve gotten to know those DJs fairly well as of late. That’s why I’m bringing you this list of things that I assume have probably happened at Katt headquarters.
1. Greg Zoobeck is Matthew McConanaughey in Dazed and Confused
Every time he sees some band groupies, I just assume he marvels at how he keeps getting older, but they stay the same age.
2. Local vape shop owners bribe the DJs to come to their in-store events.
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