Oklahoma City News, Entertainment & Occasional Humor • Established 2007

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10 unanswered questions about the Norman stormwater utility vote


Today Normanites go to the polls to vote on a stormwater plan that will raise their monthly bills. The vote is a pretty contentious one, and it seems like every local business has a sign stating their support or opposition to the measure. Those in favor say the measure will help protect Lake Thunderbird and the Canadian River, as well as help protect the city’s drinking water.

According to NewsOK.com:

The single biggest threat to clean drinking water is stormwater, Public Works Director Shawn O’Leary said. The key to protecting water supplies is to manage stormwater runoff — runoff that carries pollutants into drainage canals, ditches and watershed areas that feed lakes and reservoirs that supply cities with potable water.

In Norman, that is Lake Thunderbird, an aging lake already impaired with high levels of phosphorus and nitrogen, as well as other solids. Further contamination could kill the lake as a viable drinking water supply, O’Leary said.

“We drink our stormwater,” the public works director is fond of saying.

The single biggest obstacle to managing stormwater is money — money to pay for maintaining and repairing drainage canals, stabilization of streams that cause flooding when blocked, dam safety and for complying with unfunded state and federal mandates dictated under the nation’s Clean Water Act.

A stormwater utility would create a designated revenue stream to address those issues, O’Leary said. Currently, stormwater management is paid for out of the general fund, but the amount available each year is only about a third of what’s really needed, he said.

Many rural residents are opposed to the new fees because they say they don’t use city water and don’t contribute as much runoff as urban customers. They believe the fee unfairly places a heavier burden on them.

It’s easy to see why those who are for this measure are for it, and why those who are against it are against it. That’s why I want to ask a few more questions to see if we can really dig deep and get to the heart of the matter here. Here are my 10 unanswered questions about the Norman stormwater utility vote.

1. What does David Boren have to do with this?

I know that he’s technically the President of OU, but let’s be real. Homeboy runs Nompton.

2. Will the Lake Thunderbird Octopus be affected by this plan?

I worry about that octopus a lot, and I just want to make sure that we have his best interests at heart, even if he’s an urban legend.

3. Will 7-Eleven Icy drinks made with Norman water still taste like dirt and rust?

I will vote yes in a heartbeat if it means I don’t waste another $0.89 on a sub par Icy drink that tastes like dirty Norman water.

5 other things that don’t reflect the views of Edmond Public Schools

edmond santa fe

Last week, Patrick told you the story about former newsman Andrew Speno using the Edmond PA mic to endorse his insane employer for State Senate. You can read the whole thing here.

After the gaffe went public, the district was quick to apologize and claimed the Speno’s views don’t reflect that of the district, which got me to thinking – what other things don’t reflect the views of Edmond Public schools. Naturally, I made a list.


Fake student council candidates.

Oklahoma City gets more and more like Pawnee, Indiana every day…

raccoons in the capitol

Pawnee, Indiana, is everyone’s favorite fictional city full of a small group of dedicated individuals who live to make the city a better place, as well as massive swarms of jerks who are fundamentally incapable of voting in their own self-interest.

Sound like any place you know?

The fictional Pawnee, Indiana, is not only the setting of Parks and Recreation, but I’d like to argue that it serves as the template that the City of Oklahoma City has been trying to follow. I couldn’t tell you who in the city government was Leslie Knope, but there are probably like 87 Ron Swansons, just with the way our political demographics work out. And just like Pawnee, we have a raccoon problem.

According to KFOR.com:

6 things you’ll find on Norman PD body cam footage

Norman PD body cameras

In case you haven’t heard, Norman PD began field-testing body cameras this week. This is a pretty awesome thing that Norman PD is doing in the name of transparency, so they should be commended for this.

Now, with that out-of-the-way, let me take a moment to think about all the fantastic things we’ll get to see on Norman PD body cam footage.


Barry Switzer climbing through a sorority window.

Regardless of how the ladies in a sorority feel about Barry, I bet to Barry, everything is kind of like that movie, Porky’s, and he’s just trying to act it out.


Al Eschbach stumbling home drunk from Othello’s and walking inside a little door at the bottom of an oak tree.

I’m also willing to bet that there will be footage of Al bringing treasures to his den, like thimbles, matchsticks, and bottle caps. There will probably also be footage of a waitress trying to find Al after her shift is over, because he promised to take her on a trip.

Local conservative group reminds us women can think and act for themselves…

Have you ever read an issue of “Perspectives?” It’s the magazine put together by the Oklahoma Council of Public Affairs, a group that describes itself as “Oklahomans’ trusted source for fact-based public policy analysis that promotes free markets, limited government, and individual opportunity.”

I haven’t, but after seeing the cover of the September issue it may make my monthly hate-read list.

Perspectives magazine OCPA

Do you hear that, ladies? OCPA feels that women possess their own agency, which means they’re implicitly supporting a woman’s right to choose an abortion on the cover of their September issue! Right, OCPA? That’s totally what you’re saying, yeah?

The magazine cover above is dumb, not only because it insinuates that the pay gap isn’t real, but also simultaneously states that women have chosen to create the pay gap themselves. Also, I would like to take a moment to point out that they’ve taken Rosie the Riveter, and hyperfeminized her. Instead of the tough woman who is ready to work with her mouth set in a determined way, we get a cartoon with her hair down and lips slightly parted like models do when they’re trying to sell you sex. I thought I’d point this out, just in case OCPA’s stance on women wasn’t blatantly obvious.

Anyway, this got me to thinking. If OCPA thinks the pay gap exists because women choose it, what else do they think? So, without further ado, here are 10 things that OCPA thinks women can do!

1. Order food for themselves at restaurants.

Sure, maybe back in the day it was okay for the man to order for the lady, but times have changed! Now the lady can order a salad for herself.


2. Work outside the home.

Of course a lady can work outside the home! In fact, it’s a great way for her to pass her days until she gets married and has a child.

women in pants

3. Wear pants!

I mean, she can. But should she?