In case you aren’t an avid follower of the developments of the public education system in the metro, Edmond is getting it’s sixth middle school. Yes, that’s right. The metro is growing exponentially and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Also, Edmondites sure are spawning a whole awful lot if they need all those middle schools.
But that’s not what’s important here. What’s really important is remembering the sick burns us Edmond kids used to say about other middle schools. There’s nothing like having multiple cross-town rivalries. And there’s definitely nothing quite like the insults that a 13-year-old comes up with. So, with that, I give you some fond memories of the dopey insult nicknames Edmond kids used for other middle schools.
Luckily for me, my days of bridesmaiding seem to be over. All my good friends are married off, and I don’t anticipate making any new good friends prior to their nuptials. (This isn’t because I purposely don’t make friends with single women who are on the verge of marriage. This is because I purposely don’t make friends.) Even so, I did my time as a bridesmaid multiple times, and I definitely did more than my fair share of bachelorette partying.
Because of this, I consider myself an expert in the fine art of debauching about with a group of women. And as such, I am uniquely qualified to bring you this list of the 10 worst places to have a bachelorette party in the OKC Metro.
This is only on the list because I’ve been a part of a bachelorette party that wound up here. Imagine, if you will, a group of 5 young 20-something women dressed in their finest Forever 21 garb wandering into Suger’s. Now, imagine the 3 patrons of that establishment watching as said 20-something women take a seat. Then, the two dancers scheduled to work that evening functionally taking a break because no one was watching while we consumed our pitcher of beer. Then we got the hell out.
Had Suger’s been busy, I don’t think it would’ve been an issue. But that’s the thing. Suger’s is never busy.
9. The Casino
In theory, this is a great idea. There’s alcohol, bright lights, and tons of things going on. However, it’s my experience that casinos are downers on par with Benadryl. If you want your party to call it a night by 10 PM, then definitely go the casino route. But know that someone in your party will probably have a gambling problem, and as such, will probs keep asking you for some cash throughout the night.
8. Michael Murphy’s Piano Bar
Summer is hard. Not only is it hot, but it’s pretty boring too. There are no sports to watch. I mean, you could watch baseball, but who would put themselves through all that? Couple that with the fact that most of your favorite show seasons are over for now, and you’ve got yourself a real lack of things to do.
But fear not! I won’t let the summer boredom take over. That’s why I’ve created this list of things to keep you sane during an Oklahoma summer!
10. Order Dippin’ Dots at Roxy’s.
I’ve said this before, and I’m going to keep encouraging our readers to do it until Roxy’s makes a flavor called Marisa’s Dippin’ Dots. (It will be a cake batter ice cream with tons of sprinkles mixed in to represent the Dippin Dots.)
9. Drink somewhere other than a patio.
Last week, we found out that Abby Broyles’s sunroof exploded in New Mexico. Then, on Friday, we found out that KFOR photojournalist Travis Shutten had a cluster of daddy longlegs living on his porch. Luckily for KFOR, their staff’s lives are full of newsworthy stories so they don’t have to go very far to find something to report on.
Since our Patrick works for KFOR, I thought I’d come up with a list of things I want to know about KFOR staffers to make it a little easier on him at work. Sure, hearing about car malfunctions or masses of bugs is great, but here are the 10 other things I want to know about KFOR staffers.
Lance West’s pug raising tricks
If you follow Lance West on Instagram, then you know homeboy has a black pug. I think it’d be great for Lance to share his ideas on what’s the best way to get a pug to stop making that terrible “horf” sound they make when they breathe.
Kent Ogle’s AutoZone Recommendations
A fun fact about Kent Ogle is he’s the consummate dad, and by that I mean he’s the type of guy that enjoys a good trip to AutoZone. I’d like to see a weekly segment where Kent meets with some folks at AutoZone and just shoots the breeze about air filters and tire gauges. I really think this is what he was meant to do.
Scott Hines’s favorite self-tanner
I’m a real pessimist, so when I think of the state of Oklahoma’s economy right now, I feel like we’re just two clicks from becoming a Thunderdome-like scenario. Like, if next week, Mary Fallin appeared on TV dressed like Tina Turner while she made the Oklahoma State Board of Education spin the wheel to determine their fate, I wouldn’t be surprised. (Though, I’m admittedly holding out a little bit of hope that she is forced to declare that Master Blaster runs Bartertown before the people take over.)
Anyway, what’s the best thing to spend money on as a state right now? What do you, as an individual, spend what little money you have on when you’re broke? Necessities? Enough ramen and toilet paper to keep you good until you come into money again? Or do you buy yourself a completely unnecessary bottle of champagne?
Well, if you’re State Representative John Bennett, that’s what you do — at least metaphorically. According to KOCO.com:
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